


Hate My Guts

by mysterionparks



Category: South Park
Genre: Adorable Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angry Kenny McCormick, Blood and Violence, Casual Kenny McCormick/Craig Tucker, Crime Scenes, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Gun Violence, Implied Karen McCormick/Tricia Tucker, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Kenny dies a lot, M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Organized Crime, Original Character(s), Racism, Recreational Drug Use, Sad Eric Cartman, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Some Humor, South Park is basically a new city, Stan drinks a lot, Teenage Rebellion, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-01-04 10:23:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 76,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18341756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterionparks/pseuds/mysterionparks
Summary: Lead by Stan and Kenny, the boys formed their own "gang" as they began high school. In the now roughed up city of South Park, the group makes dangerous decisions, and commit crimes, just to survive.After Butters joins the “gang”, Kenny can't help but to get distracted by his timid, yet rebellious behavior. Doing everything he can to get Butters' attention, Kenny ends up splitting the group down the middle, jeopardizing lives and destroying friendships.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, in this alternate universe fic, South Park grows in size, to about the size of semi-large city. It was once thriving, but now, the city is falling apart. Basically, South Park is now going to be based off of the city I live in: Flint
> 
> (All characters are 16-17)

South Park has changed dramatically since the children of the town were ten. The small town where everyone knew each other, ceased to existent now. In recent years, the town had expanded not only economically, but also physically, now holding a population of almost one hundred thousand residents.

At first, the change was amazing for the city. South Park kid's parents were now thriving on the job opportunities, famous industries moved in that benefited nearly everyone, even people. But, as people - such as the mayor, and city officials - became corrupt with a sudden increase in power and money, the city started to lose vast amounts of money, pushing large corporations out of the city. Since the economy declined, and large businesses closed, many of the new residents, that had come there for jobs, of South Park moved, leaving vacant houses, businesses, and dreams behind.

Almost Every family began to struggle for money, and even protection of their belongings, as crime, and lack of jobs became worse. The people left in the city couldn't get out, or at least sell their house to move to another city, the absence of money. On top of everything though, the worst part was the eruption of crime from seemingly nowhere. Before, the only crime in South Park, was Eric Cartman being an asshole, but, now, there were parts of the city that a person wouldn't be able to walk in. It was as if everyone was so damn fed up with the city, that they punished others who were struggling just as much, or they were just simply trying to get by themselves, doing anything possible to survive. 

And, just to be safe, a person walking by themselves had to carry a gun, or at least have enough street smarts to be able to talk themselves out of a situation. The city that was once great had fallen so far, there was not one person from the original town of South Park, that didn't wish things were how they used to be; even if they had been a kind-of hick town, that was closed minded, and stupid, it was better than this.

As the boys of South Park ended their Freshman year of high school, when things were first starting to become so violent, and horrible, they decided that they had enough of the shit the criminals, and supposed 'leaders' of their city, were doing. Stan and Kenny were the most angry, fed up with their own parent's, and city's choices - forming a group as a way to get back at the city for being so fucking stupid, and selfish. At first, the "gang", loosely named the South Capriccio's after Stan's favorite wine, was just about doing stupid, kid shit in the dark; but after Kyle's dad was murdered in the middle of downtown, the "gang" focused more on spreading their own type of message, following Kenny, who was the only one that stood up for a new cause. 

Even Cartman was tired of the stupidity of the adults, and citizens, in South Park, and proposed the idea that they assert their dominance, and protest their beliefs along side with Kenny. In trying to respect Kyle's father's death, Stan thought it was ideal to spray paint the words, "Fight For The Taken", which had gotten them some unwanted popularity. Though their intents were from a point of just being fed up with the people of the city, it had turned into more of a gang then they intentionally intended, being feared by most people - except other gangs that plagued the city - in the area. Just to get by, since there were minimal jobs available for high school aged kids, the "gang" had turned to selling drugs, which didn't help their reputation.

Kenny was the most angry of all though, not backing down when one of the 'members' was concerned with his plan of action; they had trusted him to lead them, after all, and he was not going to be deterred from moving forward with what they all wanted. After Kenny's sister, Karen, had been abducted by drug dealers, due to his parents inability to supply with more meth, Kenny began to understand that they couldn't rely on anyone else to help them, thus, coming up with a constant plan to help people in need, make money to survive, and let people know they could _not_ fuck with them. The crime in the city had gotten too intense for just one person to handle, Kenny officially putting his Mysterion identity in the back of his literal, and mental, closet.

Although Kenny was the main leader for the group, Stan was like his manager, every little thing going through him before they came to Kenny. They were all like brothers, but when it came to business situations, things were handled in a chain of command. Actually, Kenny wasn't sure how he had earned all of their respect, and friendship (especially Craig, Token, and Tweek, since they were never friends before), yet, he valued the friendships of each other highly. Every boy in the gang was aware of what they had become, however, stuck together, knowing that loyalty, and friendship, was the utmost important thing in their lives at the moment.

Since the gang was brought together, it was made up of Kenny, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Craig, Tweek, Clyde, and Token - sometimes Bebe, and Wendy would hang out with them, but really only to hang out with Clyde, and get some weed, or molly. Earlier on, Wendy had tried to make some moves on Stan, but Kyle and him had been dating pretty secretly since sophomore year, their relationship officially coming out when she tried to sit on his lap during a party. Kenny knew, of course, everyone else was surprised though. Their relationship was one of the few things that made Kenny happy nowadays.

Since Kenny's parents had been taken to prison, for who knows how long (Kenny had refused to go to their trial hearings, or even answer their phone calls), he had become bitter, and very serious. Naturally, for Kenny, he would still make inappropriate jokes, but most of the time now, he was focused on keeping his head above water, and protecting those he loved. He was just so fucking angry now, fed up with taking all of the shit he had been given his entire life, finally fighting back for once.

Kevin, Kenny's older brother, was now the head of the household, having a full-time job as a cook, and working as an EMT, and supporting them by working sixty hours a week. Kenny felt like he had to provide for his younger sister, too, dealing drugs, or selling weapons to make as much money as he could to help his brother. There was a guilty weight on his shoulders whenever he thought about how much Kevin worked, but he was always reassured by his older brother, Kevin explaining how much he loved his jobs, and providing for the most important people in his life. More than anything, Kenny wished he was like his brother.

When the economy boomed, when Kenny was about twelve, his parents were making amazing money, which led them to purchase a home in a nicer neighborhood. His dad and mom were working at a GM factory, and for awhile, that did support them enough for the drug dealing to stop, until people started losing jobs at the factory, including his mother; they fell back into their old ways. Kenny and his siblings still remained in that same neighborhood - along with Kyle, Stan, Token, Craig and Clyde - but the house was paid off, which, luckily, allowed them to stay there as long as they paid other bills.

Every time Kenny recalled his younger years, he had remembered how happy he was, even when he died all the time, and now, it was hard for him to even laugh. He still died a lot, which was frustrating, but Kenny was no longer a happy child, oblivious to how bad things could really be. When he really thought about it, Kenny knew that he was completely miserable, just wanting to jump off a damn cliff sometimes, and stay dead for once, to escape South Park, however, Kenny felt like he had a duty to his siblings, and friends, and the future of the city that he once loved, that was suffering horribly.

The high school that Kenny and his crew attended, was absolute anarchy. Most of the time, they didn't even have an actual class, just a substitute spending the entire hour trying to stop them from talking, or smoking inside. There was rarely an actual teacher there, since no one wanted to work in the worst school in the state, let alone deal with all of the terrible students. All of this was the most frustrating to Kyle, Wendy, and other people who actually cared about their education, on the other hand, it wasn't like there were other schools in the city that were good, so, they were stuck.

Only the gang, and his siblings, were keeping Kenny from taking off to the other side of the country, and trying to find something new. Though, money was also a factor in that equation. Since the city had turned so vicious, the plague of drugs was everywhere, and the temptation was strong for Kenny - he knew that without the few people he loved, he would end up just like his parents. The gang, had saved his life.

Even though things were dark for Kenny, things were about to change with appearance of a new kid; a kid, that would forever change Kenny's perception of the things life had given him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> official beginning to my new story, I'm so excited :)

It was almost always cold in the city, not from the temperature, but from the low quality of life. There was a dark, chilling atmosphere that hung around everyday, every month and every year now. No one ever visited the city anymore, too afraid that they would robbed, or shot just simply driving through. Although those ideas weren't exactly reality, they weren't exactly fiction either - it was more of probability, depending on where a person drives. Since unemployment had become so high, everyone was irritated, and violent as hell, desperate to do anything just to survive even one night, which lead the nighttime, to be the most dangerous time. And late into the night, one, among the junkies, homeless, and despairing: was Kenny.

Before South Park had become a big city, Mysterion was a positive influence for the town, making folks feel safe, and giving them an odd sense of hope. Now that the city had more people than Kenny could look after, Mysterion no longer existed. Most nights, it was just Kenny out on his own with his sidearm tucked into the back of his jeans, observing the state of the city that he once loved so much. Everything that had happened recently made Kenny so angry, that everyone on the street knew not to mess with him; most of them called him psycho, even though some of the same homeless people that dared to call him that suffered from drug related psychosis. For being only seventeen, Kenny had the street-smarts of someone with over twenty years of experience, and the ability to remain calm under pressure like a professional. It made sense why so many people feared him.

Although the city had a large amount of citizens, there were basically no police to protect them. The only time there were any police involved, was when there was a dead body, and too often, there was a dead body. Everyone was stretched thin, especially people like Kenny, who wanted nothing but peace, and normality. Who knew what was normal anymore though, Kenny sure as hell didn't now. Besides spending time with his "gang", or Karen, Kenny spent most of his time alone, trapped in his angry thoughts, often turning violent, and impulsive - in fact, he couldn't even be happy around Karen most of the time now; Karen was a reminder that he was failing not only himself, but the only family he had ever had. She was an amazing sister, and he loved her more than anyone in the world, yet, he often couldn't control his anger with her at times, since he was so disappointed in himself. Karen was old enough to know Kenny was struggling with anger, and resentment for nearly everyone, so, she never held his outbursts against him; Kenny was her best friend, after all.

As Kenny's thoughts circled from Karen, to his parents, and their desperation for money a few years back, he walked into the liquor store on the corner, not even noticing the bars on the windows anymore. Kenny never thought he would be in the same position as them, however, at the same time, he wasn't surprised. Cigarettes were the only thing that could calm Kenny's anxiety about his life, and since there were no police, most businesses didn't feel the need to enforce laws, such as alcohol and cigarette age limits. That's the only reason Kenny was even in that part of the city at two in the morning, desperate to smoke those stupid cancer sticks, the only thing, that wasn't weed, that could erase some of his pain. Sure, weed really did help, but since there was so much gang violence lately, weed was actually getting harder to come by, harder drugs swarming into the city instead. The gang often sold weed more than anything, though, production had slowed, so Kenny couldn't use any of their product for personal use at the moment, unless he through in his own money, that he didn't really have.

The cashier and Kenny exchanged very little words, barely making eye contact with each other. It was obvious to Kenny that the cashier was trying to get the transaction to move alone as quickly as possible, not taking his eyes off of the door. And that was the struggle of having a business there, a robbery was almost always expected, even if the business wasn't doing that well in the first place, they still had more money than the homeless. Kenny understood this though, and told the man to keep the few dollars in change, keeping his head down as he exited through the heavily armed door, his hood shielding his face from anyone he could possibly run into.

He hadn't told any of the other boys yet, but Kenny had a gun - actually, guns. They sold guns most of the time, but, as far as Kenny was aware, none of them actually had one themselves. Since he was constantly putting himself into harms way, Kenny had gotten himself a sidearm, and a shotgun secretly from a sketchy kid named Brandon at school, who happened to regularly sell guns too, and hard drugs, such as cocaine, meth, and sometimes heroine. He was only fifteen. The shotgun was safe in his house though, under his bed frame in case anyone tried to break into their house, that they fought so hard to keep. Kevin, most of all, worked his ass off just to buy groceries every month, and Kenny was not going to let some junkie take that away from him. In fact, what prompted him to immediately buy a gun, was the recent break-in at Stan's house, only a block away from him. They had stolen some valuable things in the living room (such as their TV, and Randy's Xbox), but Randy chased them off with an AK47 (which was a bit of an overkill if someone asked Kenny), and possibly saved their lives. Not all break-ins resulted in someone being injured, but when people get desperate enough, the risk is higher.

Thinking back to how disturbed Stan had sounded when he called Kenny that night now, he gripped the gun tucked into the waist band of his jeans, ready to pull it on anyone who even looked at him wrong. Kenny knew it wasn't right to be so ready to shoot someone just walking down the street, but that was the fear that was now stuck into his brain, a passenger of fear from the things he, and his friends, had been through. Some of the fear should've been enough to keep Kenny at home during the night, yet, the last time Kenny had stayed all night at home, he and Karen had gotten into an intense argument - which ended up causing him to leave anyways. After that last time, Kenny couldn't risk having one of his breakdowns. Actually, Kenny felt quite pathetic calling it a breakdown, when in reality, that's exactly what he was suffering from when his anger boiled over. 

It was approaching three in the morning now as Kenny walked down the last main road leading to his street, looking over his shoulder every once and awhile, probably looking as if he had done something wrong. Of course, he had done a lot of things wrong, and he had always felt like the things he did, somehow cursed the entire city into the damnation that it was. It was ridiculous for Kenny to think such things, yet, between the countless times that he had died, and the city basically crumbling after only a few short years of thriving, Kenny was convinced there was more than one curse that existed in South Park, Colorado.

Kenny felt his body relaxing as he took a right down the sidewalk on his street, his small, dark house coming into view. Kevin was at work, working one of his two jobs, while Karen was hopefully in bed. Usually, if he knew Kevin wasn't going to be home, and he wanted to go out, Kenny would send Karen to Tricia's, but the Tucker's were having some family issues, and he knew better than to get himself, and Karen, involved in their personal business. Since the Tucker's were their neighbors, Kenny was aware of how fucking crazy Craig and Tricia's parents had become since losing their high paying jobs. Now, they were addicts, they didn't care about themselves, or their children anymore, and often abused their bodies - this left Laura to fall into prostitution just to keep them afloat. It effected Craig a lot, not that he'd let anyone know though, Kenny only knowing it caused him a lot of pain from the countless times he drank outside in his backyard just to drown out the fighting. Even if things were insane everywhere, he refused for Karen to be exposed to something so similar to their own parents. Kenny knew that, no matter what, he had to get her out of here after high school.

Opening the front door quietly, Kenny locked all three locks behind him, walking around the house carefully, his gun in his right hand as he made sure no one had gotten into the house somehow. It was always his main concern whenever he went out, the remaining siblings not being able to afford any type of security - it was constantly in the back of Kenny's mind. He moved upstairs lightly after he cleared the first floor, cringing to himself whenever he stepped on a step that would creak, afraid that if someone was in the house, Karen would be the first target. Kenny cleared every room, but Karen's, wanting to do her's last, so he wouldn't wake her, and possibly scare her. Turning the knob slowly, Kenny peaked his head inside as the door opened just enough for him to look in, and was comforted when he saw her laying in bed peacefully, breathing evenly, fast asleep. Closing the door softly, Kenny let out a loud, and deep breath, his head spinning from the amount of stress he was going through. Even though he was aware of the stress he was under, Kenny chose to act as if it didn't exist, hoping that if he didn't pay attention to it, it would just magically go away. Obviously, though, it wasn't working.

When the McCormicks had moved into the house a few years ago, Kenny had been overly excited to have a nice room that he could make his own, yet, now, as he walked into it for the billionth time, Kenny found himself scowling at the two pieces of furniture in the rather large room. All he had now, was a bed, and a dresser. At one point, during the peak of his parent's success, he had a nice desk, and a table for a TV to sit on, along with a TV (obviously), sadly, once the city started to go to shit, Kenny had to sell everything he didn't need. Then, it had made him angry as hell, now looking back, Kenny was grateful for his decision, now knowing that it paid two months of bills that Kevin couldn't afford. Kenny hated how selfish he used to be, thinking that materials were necessary for quality of life, when, in fact, it was the people in his life that mattered most. 

It wasn't like Kenny didn't work though, he just didn't work enough to pay bills as steadily as Kevin. Being sixteen, Kenny couldn't do much, but maybe work in the food industry, or in retail - both industries were suffering terribly from the state of the economy. At the moment, Kenny was working as mechanic apprentice every and awhile, which only paid about eight dollars an hour, still though, it was better than nothing, and Kenny was planning on pursuing that career after high school, anyways. At the moment, the mechanic that was training, and teaching him, was on medical leave because his wife had just given birth, so it would be awhile before Kenny could get back into his actual job. If it was an ideal world, Kenny would become a nurse, however, in South Park, there was no way in hell he'd ever be able to afford college. Though there are scholarships, and loans, for college, they would be wasted, since Kenny had not gotten a decent education since ninth grade, which would cause him to just fall behind - thus, wasting the money. 

With the thoughts of school crossing his mind, Kenny groaned loudly, looking down at his shitty IPhone 5 to see that it was getting close to four now, and at this rate, he was only going to sleep about two hours. He was going to rely heavily on coffee tomorrow.

Just stripping down to a t-shirt and his boxers, Kenny laid on his back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind vacant of any useful thought. Using a trick that Karen had taught him, Kenny tried to think about the things he was looking forward to when he woke up, and it took him awhile, but he determined that the only thing he was really looking forward to, was seeing all the boys, and probably smoking some weed before school. When it came to Kenny's group of friends, he knew he was lucky to have such fun, awesome, and stupid friends - they were loyal, and understanding, too, on top of all those other great things. He'd never tell any of the other boys, since he did love all of them equally, but, Kenny always considered Stan to be his best friend. Kenny had always been closest to Stan and Kyle, yet, there were things over the years that had drawn the boys so close, that he couldn't see himself living without his best friend by his side. He figured it was probably their anger, and their views of the world that brought them so close together, or maybe it was everything they had in common, and how well they understood each other, with just a look; either way Kenny was grateful that it had turned out that way. Of course, he was close with all of them: his bond with Stan was just strongest, indescribable, and irreplaceable.

Kenny hadn't even realized he had fallen asleep, the sound of his alarm jolting his body away like a shock of electricity hit him. It seemed like just a few seconds ago, he had been awake, thinking deeply about his entire life, again, and now, here he was, already waking up for school. Not wasting a moment trying to gather his head together though, Kenny pulled on some black jeans, and grabbed a dark green jacket, throwing it over his black t-shirt, lacing up his beat-up, white converse, before he headed down to the kitchen to make breakfast for Karen. Quite a few years ago, Kenny had finally stopped wearing that orange parka, feeling a bit disgusted with himself when he realized how much he had worn it, and how little he had washed it. Now, Kenny had a random sense of fashion, and, for whatever reason, it was one of the things that made him very popular with the girls in the school - Karen would argue though, and tell him it was because he had gotten so handsome - Kenny didn't care about that stuff though, the thoughts of sex, love, girls and intimacy never crossing his mind anymore, in fact, Kenny nearly forgot that any of that was an option. Actually, that wasn't completely true, Kenny did think about sex quite often, but, hey, he was a teenage boy, after all.

The only two things in the kitchen Kenny and Kevin didn't sell (besides the obvious needs), were the toaster and the coffee pot - two things essential to Kenny's everyday life. Obviously, they kept dishes, and some pots and pans, too. Popping some toast in for Karen, Kenny started to make some coffee, his hands shaking as he tried to focus on what he was doing, finding himself struggling more than he usually would be. Lately, Kenny had been having intense nightmares that gave him terrible anxiety, and fucked his mind up for the entire day, and even though he didn't even remember sleeping, let alone dreaming, the anxiety that was tightening his chest, signaled that his subconscious was disturbed. As the coffee pot was going, there was knock at the front door, and Kenny sighed loudly, knowing exactly who would be showing up this early. Kenny was unfazed as he opened the door to reveal both Craig and Tricia, both looking as pissed as usual. Walking back towards the kitchen with the door open (he knew they would invite themselves in, and if Kenny wasn't so jumpy and had nearly attacked Tricia that _one_ time, they would just walk in without knocking every morning), Kenny heard the front door slam as he pulled Karen's toast out, and spread strawberry jam to the pieces evenly, something Karen had loved since she was young.

Tricia skipped into the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as Kenny tried to spread the cold jelly onto the toast, frustrated by how little there was in the jar. Annoyed with her hovering almost immediately, Kenny set the knife down, pointing towards the stairs. "Go wake Karen up."

Although Kenny had ordered her to do it, as if he had any control over her, which he didn't, Tricia complied anyways, not saying a word as she ran towards the stairs. Craig rolled his eyes at Kenny, now standing in the doorway of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets, scowling at absolutely nothing, which was pretty normal. With Craig coming over almost everyday since the city started to grow, Kenny knew that he would want some coffee, handing a cup to him silently. Most of the time, when Craig and Kenny communicated a lot, they got into arguments, or, in some cases, physical fights. Their personalities were similar, yet different in large ways, and it caused too much conflicted. There were some other reasons they couldn't be closer, but with Craig right there, Kenny didn't want to think about _that_. So, they chose to stick to few words when they hung out, their silent friendship one of the most comforting Kenny had. 

Holding up his cigarette pack, Kenny motioned towards his back door, Craig following him silently with his coffee tightly in hand. One of the things often brought up when they fought, was the fact that Kenny got Craig hooked on cigarettes, and Kenny knew he definitely did, and the fact that Craig was right about that one thing, often made him uncontrollably angry. Even though Craig knew what cigarettes did, and had a choice in whether he wanted one or not, he still blamed Kenny, and Kenny still always got angry. Both of them liked being right, which naturally made them both stubborn as hell; as a result, there was physical fight between them at least once a week, if they were lucky. When they were under the influence though, they got along scary well, and they both denied it when they sobered up, of course. When Kenny drank, and sometimes if he got stoned enough, it was like Craig and him had been best friends forever - it was kind of weird the way that worked.

The sky was a little still dark as they sat down on the creaky wood that made up Kenny's back porch. Although there was fence surrounding the entire backyard, sitting down, both boys, even now, could see the lights of the city, now resembling more of an eerie glow, than beautiful city lights. Kenny lit his cigarette after staring for a moment, passing his lighter to Craig before taking a long drag, feeling comfort by the slight pain of inhaling the smoke so deeply, his finger tips tingling as they always did when he took his first drag from a cigarette. Kenny knew that there was no situation in which he would stop smoking cigarettes, even though he knew that ultimately, it was going to kill him in the end - if it was even possible for him to die at all; it had been more than six months since Kenny had died, and still, no one was aware of his curse. Since his mother was in prison, Kenny wasn't exactly sure how he woke up in his bed (a few years back, his mother had been high on meth and told him about the many times she gave birth to him), or, more recently, just started waking up about a minute or so after he died, a few feet away, perfectly healthy. Since his circumstances had changed, Kenny had gone out of his way to _not_ die.

"Why are you so quiet?" Craig asked suddenly, making Kenny flinch slightly, causing Craig to smirk slightly.

Blinking a few times to clear his head, Kenny shrugged, looking only at his cigarette. Sometimes, and Kenny only kept this deep in the back of his mind, he liked to avoid looking at Craig, since his face was distracting at times. He could admit, only to himself of course, that Craig was really attractive - annoying attractive. "I always am."

Without even having to look at Craig, Kenny heard him take a long drag, followed by a loud sigh, that he was slightly annoyed by Kenny's habit of avoiding things. It reflected on Craig's habit of doing the same thing though, which he would deny. "It's different this time."

Even if they said few words to each other, he knew that Craig was right, something was different. He hadn't thought a out it before, however, there was a lot of things that were just off about him lately. "I know. I don't know what it is, but something feels different."

Craig didn't have anymore to offer at this point - if he was open with Kenny like he was with Clyde or Token, he would've told Kenny that he thought he was suffering from depression, but then again, so were most people in the city. In this situation, Craig couldn't tell whether it was the city that was making his friend depressed, or himself. Or it could've been that Kenny just had depression; sometimes, people are the making to their own sadness, without even realizing it. Overall, it was better to not say anything, especially if it was just going to set Kenny off again, and Craig really didn't feel like dealing with another one of Kenny's anger fits, the last one was more than Craig had been able to handle. Kenny got up suddenly though, sensing a mood off of Craig, like radioactive waves. He needed more coffee anyways if he was going to be able to survive through school, and it was a perfect time to avoid getting into an argument with their sisters inside.

Smiling slightly to himself as he spotted Karen sitting at the counter, happily eating her breakfast and talking to Tricia, Kenny felt some of his stress dissolve, his sister's happiness taking a sort of weight off his mind - since he always worried she was unhappy. Kenny made it a priority to never smoke cigarettes inside the house, yet, lately, he had been accidentally bringing his cigarettes in, not even realizing until Karen yelled at him. Like, just now, Kenny had brought his cigarette in, and continued smoking it, not realizing that he had it, and near Karen. If he openly asked Karen, she would say she didn't care, however, he knew that she did, and she had complained to Kevin on multiple occasions about the stench. As Kenny realized his mistake, he put the cigarette out in the ashtray on the table, smiling tightly, and apologetically, at Karen as he caught her annoyed glance. Shortly after that little mistake, Craig came through the back door, scowling hard at Kenny, obviously annoyed that he was left alone. For someone so grumpy, he could be a little needy for attention.

Kenny didn't say anything though, and walked to the coffee pot, filling his cup before going over to where Craig was, filling his cup without any protest. Just as Kenny was starting to wonder where the other boys were, admittedly getting tired and frustrated with Craig, they was a few knocks on the door, both Kenny and Craig walking to the door next to each other, thankful that they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Even though they all had the option to take the bus to school, they all chose to walk, wanting to avoid all the assholes on the bus, who often happened to have knives, and didn't like Kenny's temper. Or Kenny himself. Opening the door, Craig revealed the rest of the gang, Stan and Kyle standing hand-in-hand at the front, way too happy for seven in the morning. Usually, they just barged in, but Clyde must've been too distracted to do so.

"Morning, Kenny! Morning, Craig!" Kyle greeted cheerfully, not wasting any time, dragging an obviously high Stan to the kitchen with him, Stan only being able to happily wave at his best friend. They had been dating for quite a few years now, and for a long time, Kenny had been the only rooting for them when everyone else bullied them. Well, the other boys had been happy for them in their own way, it had just taken them awhile to get used to it. For Kenny though, it was good to see them so happy, even if their happiness sometimes annoyed everyone else.

Tweek, Clyde, Cartman, and Token came in next, all mumbling some short greeting, none of them being morning people, unlike Kyle. Clyde fell into step with Kenny as they all went toward the kitchen, Clyde pulling a huge bag of weed from his pocket to show off to Kenny. Grabbing his shoulder roughly as soon as his mind registered exactly _how much_ weed that was, Kenny turned them away from the kitchen, fighting the urge to choke him out right fucking there. Looking at him with wide eyes, Clyde put the bag back in his pocket, his body tense as he waited to see if Kenny would explode at him, knowing that he should've thought twice before surprising Kenny.

"Clyde," Kenny started shakily, trying to hold back his anger. He really, really didn't want to start out the day yelling at one of his friends who just wanted to surprise him. Kenny closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as he tried to keep his thoughts rational. After a moment, Kenny calmed himself, his voice coming out even, and as soft as he could manage: "You can't pull that out in front of Karen, okay?"

Gulping, Clyde nodded in shock, zipping up his pocket to hide some of the smell, though, it didn't help much. "O-Okay, I'm sorry man."

Kenny patted his shoulder lightly, smiling the best he could at the moment, and trying to reassure his friend that it was okay. He wasn't really mad at Clyde, Kenny was just so afraid to expose Karen to things that could hurt her future, and take her away from the capabilities that he knew she had. Kenny was aware that she knew about weed, and that he and his friends smoked, at the same time though, he didn't want her to have access to trying it. Kenny pulled it together though. and followed Clyde to the rest of the boys, who were mostly quiet, besides Kyle, who was talking to Karen and Tricia about school, and their grades. Stan caught his eyes as soon as Kenny was in the dining room, his best friend leaning on the counter, a huge grin on his face as he ate cold toast, not giving a flying fuck about anything at the moment. Kenny had to stop himself from laughing, and put that moment to memory, never wanting to forget how stupid he looked, crumbs of toast all over his mouth, and a goofy smile on his face. Priceless. After enjoying that situation for a few more seconds, Kenny approached him, snatched the toast out of his hand, and taking a huge bite, Stan gasping in shock as soon as the toast left his hand.

Stan made a whining sound, jutting his bottom lip out like a pouting child, attempting to grab for the piece of toast, but his reflexes being too slow for the moment. "Kennyyyyyyyy!" Stan said lazily, and loudly, Kenny finally just giving his toast back so he would stop whining, Stan sticking his tongue out at Kenny as he scarfed down the rest, huddled in the corner of the kitchen, now.

"You're high as shit, dude." Kenny laughed lightly, a wide grin plastered on his face. He truly never got tired of watching stoned people try to function, it was like they were competing in the Olympics, just doing simple things. "How much did you smoke, dude?"

Shrugging loosely, Stan giggled, his eyes hazy as he looked into Kenny's eyes, comfortable with his presence. "Enough to last all day, Kenneth."

Before Kenny could say more, and scold Stan for calling him "Kenneth" again, Token, who was basically the group's mom, cleared his throat, the room falling silent. They were unusually quiet today, and Token looked relieved that he didn't have to yell this morning, like he always did. "Boys, we need to get going, or we'll be late."

There was an ear full of answers, but Kenny ignored all of them only approaching his sister, giving her a tight, and short, hug, and a forehead kiss, before running out of the front door with the rest of the crew, slamming the front door behind him, as he was the last one out. Karen was in the middle school, and, thankfully, all the middle school kids never messed with Karen mainly because they knew Kenny would beat the shit out of them, so he had no qualms with her taking the bus every morning. Kenny had a reputation, though that wasn't important at the moment, right now, for today anyways, Kenny only cared about just surviving another day in what he thought was the worst school on Earth. The school had quite a reputation of its own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a little boring, but I just like a lot of detail, it'll get a lot more interesting pretty fast ;) I hope you enjoyed, and I'll be updating once or twice a week, depending on my work schedule!


	3. Chapter 3

On a typical Thursday morning, even when it was February, Kenny and the boys would be walking down the street, smoking, and being as loud as they wanted to be, not giving a damn about anyone else. Today, was not a typical day though, all the boys only silently passing around a joint, and Stan casually taking swigs from the flask he almost always had on him. None of them knew why they were quiet, though it may have been from the demeanor that Kenny had been holding since the moment they left his house, a demeanor they all would've described as disturbed. Kenny was their leader, and when something was wrong with him, something was wrong with all of them - that's just the way it was, and always had been. In reality, there was nothing different about Kenny today, other than the fact he had noticed he was changing, and that he wasn't accepting the joint being passed to him. To all the boys, this meant something was heavy on his mind, and when the leader of a gang is silent, it's natural for all the members to worry about their safety, or freedom.

Token, being the smartest in the group (other than Kyle, but Kyle was too wrapped up in Stan at the moment), walked a little faster to catch up to Kenny in the front, a blunt between his lips as he warmed his hands in his jacket pockets. Token had always been careful with his words, knowing exactly the right times to speak up, and the right times to shut the hell up. This time, Token knew all the boys were ready to jump at Kenny's words, lost from his silence, eager to just hear at least one joke, or snarky comment. "Ken," Token started carefully, passing him the blunt, Kenny taking a hit this time, as if he suddenly realized that he hadn't smoked the entire walk. "What's up today?"

When they were younger, Cartman had made most of the school believe that poor people were stupid - in middle school though, Kenny had proved all of them wrong, clearly being smarter than Token, and Kyle combined. Kenny just never believed that he had potential, when in fact, he had more potential than any of them. Since he was smart, Kenny knew that Token was speaking for everyone, not only for himself. "Let's just make it through school, we'll have a meet up later."

It was weird to Kenny how fast everyone just listened to him, Token immediately spreading the word to the other boys, only positive remarks being heard. To Kenny, it was funny being the leader, especially since Stan and Kyle were always thought to be the leaders when they were younger, yet, now, even Cartman didn't dare to fuck with him, and, because of that fact, didn't fuck with anyone anymore. When it came to the boys, Kenny was a strict, and loving at the same time, only wanting the best for them, no matter the negative effect it had on him. It was more complicated than being described as a "gang", no matter how many people wanted to label them as such; Kenny didn't want to be their leader really, and somehow, it just ended like that, beginning with his aspirations, and anger.

The only thing that Kenny notice about their walk today, was Kyle's lack of words. Usually, Kyle was the most talkative, mainly ranting about things that could hurt the economy further, but given the things that had taken place in his life recently, he remained quiet when he wasn't talked to. Sure, Stan was there for him, but Stan was dealing with some intense stuff as well - hell, all of the boys were going through things that kids their age shouldn't even have to think about. With the thought of Kyle cutting sharply into his mind, Kenny stopped in his tracks, looking at the ginger haired boy behind him, walking with his hands mindlessly in his pockets, not even noticing that Stan was talking complete bullshit with Cartman, his flask still grasped tightly in his hand. As Kyle was about to walk past, not even noticing his friend waiting, Kenny grabbed his shoulder, continuing walking beside him.

Gasping for a moment, Kyle's face appeared pale at first, softening as he realize that it was only Kenny. It didn't Kyle long to figure out that he would have to talk to Kenny about how he was feeling, since, if he did avoid it, Kenny would keep pressing him about it all day. If Kenny asked someone to talk, most of the time, they talked. "I'm thinking about my dad, again."

Kenny thought back to just a few months ago when he got a call from Stan, his friend explaining frantically through tears and rapid breathing that Kyle's dad had been walking home from his office, when he was murdered. Murders were always described as brutal, but Kenny was sick to his stomach when he learned the details of Gerald's murder, and refused to even repeat them to himself. Even now, thinking about how Gerald was basically gutted alive, made Kenny's stomach twist, and his anger flare out of control. - angry that there was never a clear reason for Kyle and Ike losing their father; of course, there wasn't a reason to kill someone's father, but an explanation would've put some relief on Kyle. Later, it was learned, (through Kenny investigating and breaking several laws), that it had been a client of Gerald's that had committed the murder, and, to Kenny, it was just another way of the city saying a huge "fuck you", to the people who were just trying to help. After learning who the guy was, Kenny nearly went and shot up his house, but Kyle had assured him, there were important things they could do to prevent these things from happening to more people.

"What exactly are you thinking about?" Kenny questioned carefully, after a few minutes of being lost in his thoughts and memories, making sure his question was clear, yet sensitive enough. When it came to communicating, Kenny had no patience when it came to being misunderstood, even if it was his fault for not being clear enough.

Kyle gulped visibly, forcing himself to continue talking with the only person who had been through worse things than him. Only looking out at the darkness, Kyle shuddered, the images of his father's closed casket stapled in his mind, words falling from his trembling lips coldly, like icicles. "I-I want.. justice."

Even though Kyle had said it oddly, Kenny knew that Kyle just wanted the thoughts, and images to stop - it was something Kenny could really relate to, memories forever stuck from things as far back as childhood trauma. Stan was now only living with his moronic father, Craig's parents were officially white trash, Cartman was a total different person, Tweek was unknowingly addicted to caffeine (and possibly meth, but Kenny couldn't be sure), Token dealt with constant racism, and Clyde was just confused about his entire life - but Kenny and Kyle had seen more than anyone had. Though, lately, Craig was starting to catch up. They were the worst off of the group, suffering enough for three centuries of lives, not stopping for a moment to actually feel the weight of those experiences, just going through the motions like they were _supposed_ to accept it.

With the blunt gripped between his fingers, Kenny passed it to Kyle, knowing that he needed some sort of mind altering state more than anyone right now. Kyle happily accepted it, sucking in the calming smoke quickly. Back when they were kids, Kyle was the only one who was openly against drugs, and even alcohol, but as his settings changed, everything he had believed in before, had changed too. Now, he actually was the biggest stoner in the group, always a little high. Funny how things can change that much, that quickly. Kenny quietly took the toke back though, his head pounding as he tried to solve Kyle's problem in a matter of seconds, wanting to give him an answer than would suffice for now. "We'll find it, Ky." It was the only answer Kenny could come up with at the moment that was both truthful, and reassuring. When the murder happened, Stan and Kenny had both vowed to Kyle, that they would do absolutely anything to find justice - and that justice was still yet to come.

As if Stan had suddenly been jolted awake, realizing Kyle wasn't next to him, he ran to his side from the back of the group, rubbing Kyle's shoulders comfortingly, giving Kenny a stern look. Stan's look wasn't to scold Kenny for talking secretly with his boyfriend, but it was basically a signaling that Stan wanted to have a serious conversation later about what was discussed between them. When it came to any of the boys, even if it wasn't Kyle, Stan went to the ends of the Earth to find a way to cheer them up.

"We selling today?" Clyde suddenly spoke up out of the blue, referring to their almost-regular selling of weapons, and drugs. He had been so focused on Kyle, and his situation, he hadn't even noticed they had all started to pay attention to their tense looks. It was almost as if Clyde had heard something, and just wanted to change the subject. Kenny cocked an eyebrow back at him, waiting for him to be a little less stupid with his words, in case anyone was near. He knew better. "I-I mean.. how are we turning profits today?"

Satisfied with Clyde's attempt, Kenny turned at the front of the group, prompting the rest of them to stop in their tracks. Waiting for each of them to completely pay attention, (most of them kind of dazed since they were stoned) Kenny stood at the end of the sidewalk, no fear showing in his face for even a millimeter of a second as a truck whipped out of the road close behind him, almost touching his back, all of the boys tensing. Now that everyone was afraid, and paying attention, Kenny grinned a little, amused with how his friends always reacted to his carelessness, so unaware that he really didn't fear death. "No weapons today boys, just weed. If anyone asks for pills, just say we're out, too many people are overdosing on that shit, and I'm done with it, even if it does bring in the most money. If you see anyone older than high school age approach you - run. We aren't doing business with strangers." There was a thick silence as they all pondered whether or not the state police actually cared enough to intervene. Kenny was sure they were aware of the endless crime in their city, but there were only so many state troopers for such a large state. Denver was probably more of a priority, since tourists went there, versus South Park, where no one ever visited. Breaking out of his thoughts, Kenny cleared his throat, continuing his little briefing: "All the teachers have a hook up with us, but avoid PC principal at any cost. You boys know the routine, you've got it."

Most of the boys, if given any different circumstances, would've chosen a different way to earn money, unfortunately, for right now, this was the best way to make more than thirty bucks a month. Some of them, such as Token, Cartman and Kyle, picked up any kind of work available, however, the lack of work still remained a heavy factor. All of the boys nodded at Kenny, knowing these things, falling back into their relaxed routine, with Kenny himself relaxing as the THC flowing through his body began to bring him back to a state of peace. With a loose smile on his face now, Kenny turned to cross the street, noticing they were only a block from the school. Since Kenny was now relaxed and happy, the other boys began to grow loud, laughing and mocking each other as typical teenage boys did, yet, they were very unique when it came to what everyone would describe as average.

Still sucking in smoke from the blunt that he had nearly forgotten about, Kenny squinted ahead at their school, scowling at the state of it. When the city had expanded, the boys were able to have a large high school separate from the elementary and middle school, but since then, the school had been torn apart by lack of funds, angry ex-students, and people looking to squat. The outside was rather nice at one point, the cream stone comforting against the dark green trees surrounding it, rather now, the trees were almost always bare of leaves, garbage surrounded the outside, and the once cream stone was an eerie brown and green, the lack of care apparent. Most of the windows had been broken at one point, and were now replaced by heavy, metal bars, which just made it look like a prison even more. Inside was only slightly better, the dark blue lockers stained, and rusted from the abuse they had suffered in a short amount of time, some of the doors even missing. The ceilings were missing tiles, unknown liquid causing damage to more than one part of the school, while the floor was coated in dirt, grime, and dust. Most of the class rooms were bare, with creaky desks, and a screen being the only things occupying them. There used to be a million options for classes - even AP classes where kids could get college credits for free -now though, the school could only afford to offer basic classes, just the requirements to be able to graduate. It was as if, their state had given up on everyone in the city, leaving them to be in an endless cycle of poverty for the rest of time.

As Kenny thoughts were clouded with negativity once again, he felt someone push him slightly, trying to get his attention in most annoying way possible. Looking to his right, Kenny saw Craig scowling at the ground, acting as if he didn't push him, something that Kenny didn't see often, since Craig liked to remain emotionless. Glancing back at the other boys, Kenny saw that Tweek and Token were talking loudly, their arms wrapped around each other like most boys did when they were close, but Kenny knew that Craig saw something different. To avoid awkwardness, and possible drama, in the group, Craig had only shared with Kenny about his weird feelings for Tweek. Although, shared would be exaggerating, since Craig had only confirmed the fact with a head nod. So, Kenny rolled his eyes, throwing his arm around Craig's shoulder loosely, sneering to himself as he thought of the many, many ways he could fuck with his friend right now.

"You jealous, Craig?" Kenny teased lowly, chuckling when he felt Craig tense. This was probably going to end in a physical fight, but Kenny was trying to push Craig towards his feelings more, just in a way that only Kenny and Craig could understand.

Of course, Kenny was kind of right, Craig pushing him away in a second, his nostrils flaring slightly as his eyebrows furrowed. Basically, the only two emotions Craig only showed physically, was anger, and smugness. "Fuck off, McCormick."

A ping of annoyance immediately hit Kenny though, as he heard his last name, something he hated to hear because of how it represented his parents more than anything. Kenny's eyes narrowed as he stopped in his steps, the boys around him falling silent. This was not going the way Kenny had intended, he couldn't stop himself though, as he poked Craig's rest hard with his pointer, and middle finger, the other stumbling back slightly. "You know I hate that shit, Craig."

Rolling his eyes, being the only one to have the sense to not be one hundred percent loyal to Kenny and whatever he said, Craig huffed, stepping closer to Kenny. He was not about to back down from whatever this was going to turn into. "Oh, so sorry I won't bow to you, Princess Kenny."

In a split second, Kenny erupted with anger, slamming him to the ground with a swift move of his knee, his hand tightly gripping the collar of his shirt, a sickening look in his eye. Craig flinched at this, completely ready to get punched in the face by the one person who could actually _hit_ , and he hit _hard_. Kenny let him go though, the anger never fading as he stood above him, pressing his lips tightly together, enough to make his mouth white. He shook his head at Craig, growling out an end to their fight: "Not today, Tucker."

It was normal for them to fight, and, if anyone had asked Craig, he would've normally thought that it was pretty normal for them - but Kenny was even more angry today. Now, it was obvious to the rest of the boys, that something more was going on with Kenny. Craig was even starting to realize that there was more to Kenny than he had bothered to know. Maybe it was time, for them to remember they were their own people, and talk to Kenny without fearing he would get angry with them.

As the boys saw a Henry Namsty, they knew it would have to wait. Henry Namsty was a rival, he basically tried to fuck with all of them whenever he got the chance, and even threatened their lives on more than one occasion. Kyle found him dangerous, but Kenny was convinced that he would never do anything to actually hurt them. Even if the others disagreed, Kenny tended to act alone, anyways, taking care of things that none of them had any knowledge about. As Henry pushed Kenny a few feet from him as soon as they were in contact, Stan intervened immediately, stepping between the two boys, holding onto Kenny the tightest, since he was the quickest to hit.

"Stan," Kenny said calmly as he only looked at Henry, his followers beginning to surrounded him, as if that would scare him. "Not today." Henry rolled his eyes, laughing and saying some stupid shit to his friends that neither of them could really understand. Instead of just letting Henry get away with being an asshole Stan winked at Kenny, looking directly at Henry as he said: "I don't feel like beating up a little girl today."

Shouldering Henry as he walked past, satisfied with Stan's clever remark, Kenny smirked as the rest of the boys shouted insulting names at Henry's friends, backing him and Stan up, even though they didn't even know what was going on. Even if everyone was happy about how things had went down as they were passed those assholes, Stan was obviously annoyed with Kenny's sudden lack of interest in it, and everything else in general. Stan had gotten excited when Kenny seemed to be himself a minute ago, in terms of fighting against Craig and Henry, yet, as soon as they had walked away, he was back to being silent, and weird. As they walked into the school, Stan pulled Kenny to the side as the other boys went to do random shit, most not even noticing that Kenny and Stan had stopped to discuss something. Stan knew Kenny better than anyone, and couldn't stand keeping his mouth shut anymore, especially after his outburst with Craig, and the incident he had witnessed earlier with Clyde. He had witnessed how quickly Kenny had gotten angry, and had decided against saying anything, until now.

"Ken," Stan started sternly, basically the only person who could speak to Kenny any way that he wanted without being hit - he was the only one assertive enough to get through Kenny's stubbornness. "What the fuck is your problem today?"

Unfazed by Stan's aggressiveness, and tone of voice, Kenny shrugged honestly, pushing his slightly curly, blonde hair back from his forehead, raking his hands down to the back of his scalp. "I'm just.. I just woke up having everything on my mind."

Stan sighed, understanding how he was feeling, since he often woke up like that too, still though, it didn't excuse his lack of his personality. "Look, we all have those days, but the boys all look up to you. Not only do they need you to be yourself, but I need you to be yourself. You need to remember who you are, and stop acting like an abandoned, beaten dog. You're way more than that, and you fucking know it."

As annoying as Stan was being, adamant that he was acting like a different person, Kenny couldn't help to see that he was possible right, and he really didn't like it. Groaning dramatically, Kenny rubbed his eyes, attempting to wake himself out of the angry daze he seemed to be trapped in. After a moment of trying to clear his head, as Stan just stared at his best friend, Kenny sighed, dreading what he was going to say next: "I guess you're right just this once, but dude, I just feel so different lately. I feel.. I guess, just, fed up? I know I'm kind of known for being angry, or whatever, it just feels different this time. I don't know what's up anymore."

There was a heavy silence as Stan tried to look for the right words to say, though there were words that could help his friend, since only Kenny could really know the answer. Kenny was just going through a teenage thing, right? At least, that's what Stan was hoping for as Kenny's eyes clouded over, his mind tuning out reality once again, going to a place unknown to even Kenny himself. Stan could barely recognize his best friend at that moment; he had become a shell of who he really used to be, and it had happened so quickly, Stan felt sick to his stomach. Kenny used to be funny, witty, dirty-minded, honest, and attentive, and now, he was nothing, but anger. It was obvious he still cared about his siblings and friends, however, he was distracted. Without another word, Kenny and Stan started to walk down the dirty hall together, not paying attention to the intense chaos around them, yelling and smoking threatening to disturb Kenny's deep thoughts. For once, Kenny was the one to be worried about it, and it scared the shit out of Stan.

Kyle was waiting for them at their first hour, avoiding the stares from a certain group of students that were anti-Semitic, and very open about it, too. If things had gone differently, Kyle was convinced that Cartman would be the leader of that group now, but since things were different, Cartman often defended him against anyone that tried to insult him. Funny how things change, right?

Stan embraced Kyle right away, Kenny smiling at them sweetly as they molded into one another, fitting perfectly together like two perfect puzzle pieces. Kenny wanted to love someone the way they loved each other, but honestly, Kenny couldn't picture that for himself at all, as long as he lived in a place like South Park. Having his fair share of hook-ups when he was drunk, Kenny knew there were people that wanted him, but he had never wanted anyone of them. It would be nice, if, for once, he wanted someone that didn't want him. As that thought crossed his mind though, Kenny knew that it was stupid to wish something like that, since it would also be as emotionally painful as not having anyone at all.

Eyes wondering from Kyle and Stan's intimate moment, Kenny's eyes fell on someone he didn't recognize, running through the hall like he life depended on it. Squinting at the appearance of someone new, since it was rare for someone to _move into_ South Park, Kenny felt compelled to find out exactly what was happening, at the same time holding himself back, just in case the new kid was being chased by someone that Kenny didn't want to get involved with at the moment. Kenny giggled to himself as he realized how many enemies him and his friends had, the reality feeling ridiculous compared to when just Craig's gang were their rivals, just being kids competing over meaningless stuff. Oh, how Kenny wished he could have that time back, even if a lot of it had been stupid.

Before Kenny would reminisce anymore about how good his past had been compared to his present, Stan and Kyle were trying to get his attention, just going back and forth calling him stupid names: "Kenneth."

"Madam."

"Lady McCormick."

"Trailer-"

"Stan Marsh," Kenny answered out of the blue, to the surprise as both of the boys, sending a threatening look to Stan, since he instinctively knew he was going to pull that shit. "Do not finish that sentence."

Smiling evilly, mainly because Stan knew how much it annoyed Kenny, Stan started where he left off, pronouncing it as slowly as possible: "T-r-a-s-h."

Not giving Kenny even a second to kick his ass, Stan sprinted into the classroom, leaving Kyle in the dust, and Kenny to chase after him. The teachers didn't give a shit about anything, and as Kenny chased Stan into the room, the absence of the teacher actually caught his eye, distracting him from what he had been doing before. Sometimes, a teacher would be late, sometimes very late, but Kenny noticed how the desk was completely empty, no one having been there the entire day, not even a substitute. The other students didn't seem to notice, or care if they did notice, and talked loudly, some even having cigarettes dangled between their fingertips - not that it surprised Kenny, he was just surprised at the people who were smoking, since he didn't see them as smokers. Kyle followed in, after a moment of Kenny studying the room from where he sat at a random desk now, Kyle scowling only at his boyfriend, who avoided the stare completely, feeling guilty for not including him in their banter. Kenny smirked at Stan's cowering figure, plopping down in his seat as the bell rang. Although there was no teacher, Kenny was not about to risk being sent to principal's office for misbehaving like everyone else.

There was a reason why Kenny did everything possible to avoid the principal's, and even advised all of his friends to do the same. When Kenny and the boys first started selling things after his parents went to jail, PC principal caught wind of what was going on. Kenny, being the only one to be called into the office, denied everything, sitting there confidently because he knew there was no proof that he was doing anything, but PC principal made a vow to catch him, to his face. Not being stupid, Kenny knew that him and the boys had to play their cards carefully, until the day that PC principal left the school. It was only a matter of time now, before he left, having been shot on two separate occasions by students, he would be gone in months. Actually, Kenny was surprised that he had lasted this long, since his kids were now in a different state, and the school had gone to shit, what was his point in even being here?

The room fell quiet as the door squeaked open, all of them hoping that it wasn't a teacher, or some person of authority. Kenny could feel the room relax as a small blond boy walked in, visibly shaking as a bunch of tough, city kids in the room stared at his small, obviously innocent, figure. As everyone was confused by the appearance of a new student (something they hadn't seen in years), Kenny felt lightheaded as he looked at the cute boy, gripping onto the sides of his desk like it was an anchor. The fact that Kenny even thought that the boy was cute, was a new feeling that he had never really experienced, along with a new tingling feeling in his stomach. The new, adorable kid was wearing a casual grey sweater, with black jeans and red sneakers - though Kenny didn't care about what he was wearing, he care about the way his light, feathery hair fell to the right side of his head, both sides of his head shaven, the haircut highlight his bright, blue eyes. He had never seen someone so beautiful. With Kenny being as cocky as he was though, he unashamedly scanned the boy head to toe, smiling widely to himself as he memorized the boys shy, but delicate features, was enough to send Kenny over the edge.

As if he could sense Kenny's eyes on him, which he probably could since he was now the only one looking at him, the boy waved shyly, before dashing to an empty desk on the other side of the room, not looking back at Kenny. The room got loud again as Kenny continued to stare, noticing the boy's extremely frightened demeanor. As Kenny was staring at the boy, Stan and Kyle were watching him, amused by the fact that Kenny was drooling over someone. Since Kyle and Stan had known Kenny longer than anyone, they knew it was a huge deal that he was staring at someone like that; they knew that he had girlfriends when he was younger, but since they had been teenagers, neither of them could recall Kenny even calling someone attractive (other than calling a few people hot every now and then). Maybe, this was what Kenny needed - at least, that's what Stan thought.

Finally, after quite a few minutes, Kenny realized that he was staring at the new kid, and shook his head, looking down at the desk like he was caught playing with his dick. A long time ago, Kenny had figured out that he was pansexual, so it wasn't that he was ashamed that he was attracted to a boy, but after only seeing that boy for a few minutes, Kenny felt as if he would ruin the poor kid. For once, Kenny was feeling vulnerable, and afraid, all from feeling dizzy over some cute boy. To make himself feel better, and less pathetic, Kenny looked around him and saw a girl named Ruby, twirling her blonde curls as she smoked a joint, her red lipstick not being effected in the slightest by the joint. Despite being on her phone, she noticed Kenny looking at her, and winked, prompting Kenny to continue with the random plan he had just come up with to distract himself. Turning fully around now, Kenny put his arms on her desk, scanning her up and down like he actually cared, winking as their eyes connected once again.

"Hey, beautiful." When it came to flirting, Kenny was a damn pro, one of the many things the other boys were jealous of. It was probably his lack of care that made him so good at it. Ruby leaned forward, blowing smoke in his face lightly as she leaned on her elbows, the joints balancing between his fingertips. "Wanna share?"

Ruby passed him the joint, her fingers caressing his softly, her tongue slightly darting out to the corner of her mouth. "You finally noticed me, huh?"

Not actually knowing what she meant, but playing it off as a game, Kenny shrugged, smirking. "I tend to be oblivious to good things."

If Kenny was really being honest with himself, he didn't give a shit about her. It was terrible that it was true, at the same time though, he knew she only wanted to fuck him - while he just wanted a distraction. Although, he had no interest in her, Kenny spent the entire hour acting as if he'd fuck her right there given the opportunity, but he never would. He might've been flirting with her to get his mind off of the cute boy, though that wasn't a fact he was ready to deal with. Kenny was completely comfortable with his sexuality, however, the thought of actually falling for someone, prompted Kenny to flirt his way out of it, and flirting with Ruby didn't even really work, his eyes had been drifting back to the boy every so often, an unfamiliar tingling taking over his fingertips. He didn't like this, not one bit.

Stan and Kyle were just witnesses to the entire thing, as they usually were to anything happening around them like this. As connected as they were, they were thinking the same things, knowing Kenny was avoiding things that could be good for him. Again. It wasn't anything new for them, but it was still just as annoying, and frustrating, as the first time they noticed it, and it was annoying to see their friend just playing with someone's emotions, as he did almost every single week lately when he was feeling down. Stan and Kyle were all for someone seeing as many people as they want, but stringing people along just because they're feeling lost? They didn't agree with that. It was even worse since Kenny knew what he was doing was wrong, and just couldn't help him - or didn't want to.

Like a switch, after the hour ended (no teacher ever showing up for an unknown reason), Kenny immediately stopped talking to the girl, which led her to believe he was just playing hard to get. Stan rolled his eyes at his best friend's back, wanting to apologize to the girl for his friend's behavior, but kept his mouth shut, not wanting to make Kenny feel worse than he was on a daily basis now. Kenny only kind of knew what he was doing, yet, he didn't care enough to think about it further.

Out of nowhere, Kenny stopped in his tracks as the blonde boy from class walked quickly ahead of them, glancing behind his shoulder like he was running from someone, his eyes only connecting with the new kids for a moment, and even that was enough to make him dizzy. Kenny squinted at him, feeling the want to ask the small boy if everyone was okay, though, as he thought about his weird feelings, Kenny scowled, instead turning to his two friends. Pretending like they both didn't just see everything, Stan and Kyle tried to act casual, Kenny obviously seeing through it, deciding not to address it, either. "Uh, did it look like he was in trouble to you guys?"

Raising an eyebrow, biting back a smile, Kyle shrugged trying to avoid eye contact as he said his answer quickly: "I wasn't paying attention. Since when do you care, dude?"

Only blinking for a moment, Kenny realized that it definitely was weird for him to care about some random. Usually, only the boys, and his siblings mattered to him, the kids at school not even existing in his mind. What was different about this kid? "I don't."

Without a word to signal that he was leaving the conversation, Kenny started walking down the hall, eager to meet up with the rest of the boys, and stop talking about this kid. It wasn't that he didn't like spending time with just Stan and Kyle, but at the moment, they were making him feel guilty, he just didn't need that emotional weakness right now. Spotting the other boys talking in a group in a random part of the hall way, Kenny strolled up coolly, his hands comfortably in his jeans pockets. The other boys spotted him when he was about fifteen feet away, yelling stupid greetings that tugged a grin onto Kenny's face, the thoughts of the blonde boy fading from his memory as if it never mattered.

"Dude," Clyde started talking as soon as Kenny was close enough to hear him over the voices in the hallway, his eyes wide with anticipation. He was bouncing up and down, obviously excited about something that the other's weren't. At first, Token was giving him a warning look, and stopped as soon as Kenny noticed, holding back a laugh as Clyde start to blurt out his question: "Can we have a small party at your place Friday? Please?"

Parties were a huge part of the boy's lives, usually taking place at Clyde's or Stan's (Stan and Clyde both had single dads who just really didn't give a shit anymore), so Kenny felt suspicious when Clyde asked to have it at his house. Since Kenny was so protective over Karen, he liked to avoid it, along with avoiding damage to his house. Crossing his arms over his chest patiently, Kenny sighed, noticing everyone else's lack of interest. There would probably be a lot of excitement if he said yes, though it was obvious that no one thought that it was going to happen. "Why?"

Only looking down now, Clyde cleared his throat, losing the confidence he had before. "W-Well, uh.. you see-" Token groaned as Clyde struggled, causing Clyde to stand up a little straighter, wanting to show off in front of the others, sending a side glare to Token. "Bebe wants to hang out with us. My dad is embarrassing, and so is Stan's."

"Hey," Stan said with offense layered in his voice, despite knowing that his dad was stupid, and very embarrassing. His dad may have been a mess, but he stuck around, unlike his mom.

Kenny appreciated Clyde's confidence, it was something he always tried to encourage in all of them, especially Clyde, knowing himself how important it was. Also understanding Clyde's very true statements about his and Stan's dad, Kenny felt that they deserved a party he could host. He had never hosted his own party, and the thought of it actually kind of excited him, which prompted him to answer happily. "Alright," All of the boys looked at Kenny now, surprised that he was actually agreeing to a party where Clyde just pretty much wanted to get laid. Kenny saw a little more to it than that though. "We deserve a party, boys, and I'd kind of like to host one. Keep it small. Stan is in charge of getting booze, Craig and I will get weed."

There was a large silence between the boys, all of them turning to look at the only person who seemed to disagree with the party: Cartman. Kenny made eye contact with Cartman, waiting for him to say what he obviously had been waiting to say. Since they were kids, Cartman had changed more than anything of them, having a complete personality flip. Now, he was quiet, and always deep in his thoughts, barely interacting with any of them. "Well," Cartman started quietly, rolling his eyes at Clyde openly, before looking back at Kenny, with a small smirk. "Why are we having a party, just to get Clyde laid?"

It was the first time in a long time that Kenny had heard Cartman be so blunt, and couldn't hold in his laughter, holding his stomach lightly. "Yeah, man, I see your point, but everyone's gotta get laid." Cartman shrugged, looking back down at the ground, but Kenny wasn't done talking with the only member of the group he barely communicated with. Whether it was their terrible past, or Cartman's general lack of words, Kenny had a hard time trusting him, though, now, would be a perfect time to corner him, and see if he has really changed. "How's Heidi?"

Cartman's head shot up, a smile tugging at his lips at the mention of her name. They hadn't dated since they were kids, but recently, they had started talking slowly - she had noticed how much he had changed, and was considering giving him another chance. Just the small smile he gave showed that it would be different this time, and he truly loved her, now that he had grown up. It honestly made Kenny ecstatic. "Great."

The rest of the boys cheered at him obnoxiously, trying to embarrass him, or pump him up, Kenny couldn't really tell the difference. There was really no in-between anymore, since all they did was mess with each other, or fight. With the rest of the boys happy, Kenny caught the eye of someone down the hall, looking at him from where he stood at his open locker. Kenny's breath caught in his throat as he realized it was the blonde boy from earlier, his brain raising a hand to wave at him before it even completely registered that it was him, but instead of the new kid waving back, the boy slammed his locker, and walked the opposite direction. Kenny couldn't help to stare after him, wondering why he was so interested in the small boy, and everything surrounding him.


	4. Chapter 4

It took a lot for Kenny to stop thinking of the new kid, and it truly pissed him off. He was supposed to be this strong leader for his friends, with a strong head of his shoulder, and here he was, getting so easily distracted by a random boy - he felt pathetic, and just stupid. What was the point of the continuous thoughts of the boy? Nothing would ever happen between them, ad Kenny knew that he wasn't good enough for someone so perfect, anyways. At lunch though, Kenny's mind finally focused on other things as he saw his boys, casually spread out in the courtyard, waiting for their regular customers to approach them, as they usually did at this time. Rarely, people approached him directly to buy things, most people would only come to Kenny if someone pissed them off, or if they were pissed at him; after most people met Kenny though, they found out quickly, that they shouldn't have approached him in the first place. He didn't take complaints, and sure as hell didn't appreciate when a customer threatened his friends.

Kenny sat at the top of an empty table, observing the safety of his friends, every movement around them being carefully observed. Sells may have been important for all of them to pay bills, and help out their home life, but their lives were even more valuable. Today, though, Kenny was only looking, but not seeing as much as he usually would be. His thoughts were all over the place as he thought about his recent anger, and lack of patience when it came to anyone who challenged him in any way. It was who Kenny was at his core always, but it was now coming out in ways that even he couldn't control,and he didn't like it. Kenny was worried that he could lose his friends if he kept acting this way, even if he had done so many things for them, Kenny would understand if they chose to leave him behind, to avoid a harmful friendship. It was the last thing Kenny wanted, yet, it may have been better at this point. Thinking of his selfishness, Kenny's stomach churned as he reevaluated himself, studying only his bruised, scratched, and beaten hands, as he scowled at the realization of how fucking stupid he had been recently.

Now looking towards his friends when he realized he hadn't been watching, Kenny stood up quickly when he noticed Henry arguing with Craig, pinning him against the wall while the other boys were held back by Henry's friends. Furious, but with himself this time for not watching over his friends, with a touch of excitement, Kenny was there in a flash, throwing Henry to the ground like he was a piece of paper, holding him to the ground by his throat. Henry chuckled up at him, flashing the gun hidden in his baggy jacket secretly, trying to scare Kenny into leaving him alone. What Henry didn't know, was that Kenny didn't fear death, and he also had a gun on him, always.

Grabbing Henry by the collar of his shirt effortlessly, Kenny stood him up, only leaving an inch between their faces. "Don't you _ever_ touch Craig and my boys again." Henry went to reach for his gun, but Kenny jabbed his wrist quickly, not giving him a chance to even lay a finger on it. "I don't fear death, motherfucker, and I won't hesitate to kill you, either."

Henry's eyes went wide as he realized exactly how serious Kenny was being, the look in Kenny's blue eyes piercing in his soul, Henry wiggling himself out of the tight grasp running the opposite direction without hesitation. Although, Henry had strong connections to the Mexican Cartel, he was a bit of a pussy when someone threatened his life, and wasn't smart enough to use his connections to get someone killed. Or maybe, he really didn't agree with hurting people - only scaring them. Kenny was only a little angry now, glaring at the rest of Henry's friends until they left, a few of them crying like actual kids, instead of kids acting like they were in a gang. Now that the shitheads were gone, Kenny approached Craig, who looked pretty normal, but was ignoring everyone's questions. Kenny took him aside, away from the other questions that were possibly distracting Craig's emotions. He was strong, stronger than Kenny himself, however, he didn't have a curse that kept him from remaining dead.

"Hey," Kenny started casually, knowing that Craig liked when people didn't make a big deal out of things. If anyone was better at that than Craig, it was Kenny. "You good, dude?"

Craig took a deep breath, ignoring all of the eyes on him, only looking at Kenny with a blank expression. His dark eyes were vacant as he sucked in his bottom lip, speaking shortly: "Yeah. I didn't like that gun on me, though."

Kenny tensed at the mention of a gun, not remembering seeing Henry do that. It was okay if someone pulled a gun on him, but on his friends? Hell no. Not wanting the others to hear how dangerous the situation had become, Kenny continued lowly, pulling Craig closer to him by the bottom of his jacket. "Wait, he pulled his gun on you?"

Acting as if it was no big deal, Craig shrugged, avoiding Kenny's eye, knowing he could read his disturbed feelings. Craig cleared his throat before answering, as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing, and give away his emotions. "Uh, yeah. He asked where our pills were."

The topic of the boys selling pills, was a huge debate between all of them. Kenny wasn't really okay with it, but knew it brought in a lot of money, and while a lot of them felt the same, Kyle, Tweek, and Token refused to sell them completely. Kenny had agreed that they would only sell them as a last resort, though from the short amount of time they did sell them, it brought some unwanted popularity. Henry wanted their pills to sell because whenever he got pills from a supplier, he would just use all of them, instead of selling them like he was supposed to, and ended up owing a lot of money to pissed off people who would actually kill someone. "That asshole." Kenny paused as he thought about what to do, and how he should handle a situation like this. "Do you.. Do you want a gun now?"

Scoffing, Craig looked Kenny in the eyes, glaring at him sharply. Craig was pissed that he had even _asked_ a question like that, given his recent life experiences. "Fuck no. I can't believe you asked that, asshole."

Kenny didn't intend to make Craig upset, only wanting to protect his friend, and felt bad for even asking the question. Since Craig's parents were fucked up, they often walked around with guns while high on crack, threatening their kids' lives, or someone else's. Kenny shook his head, knowing that his dumb-ass should have taken the time to think before he spoke. "I'm sorry. You know I just don't want anything to happen to you.." There was a thick silence as they both thought about Kenny's words, their eyes connecting heavily, an awkwardness filling the air from the intensity of different feelings. They hadn't told anyone about their problem, but during many of their fights, they had almost hooked up from how tense things got sometimes, which made two horny boys just want to.. you know, _sweat_ it out. Kenny broke the trance though, reminding himself that it was just general, pent up sexual tension that they both had. "Uh, We'll talk about it later, we're having a meeting after school, anyways."

The tension eased a little as they walked back towards the other boys, Kenny ignoring his sudden lust for Craig. It was stupid, how he would get so attached to Craig in a moment, even though he knew he was just horny, he felt like he could explode; yet, Kenny wasn't completely attracted to him. But maybe, that's why they threw punches instead. Kenny gathered the boys in closer as him and Craig rejoined the group, throwing an arm around a smoking Stan. Looking at each of the boys with soft eyes, and a lack of a smirk, since he felt like some serious things needed to be discussed, Kenny whispered: "Meeting after school. Skate park."

Just as the boys agreed with Kenny's request, the bell rang, signaling that lunch was done. Even though most of the kids there were gang members, drug users, or just people who didn't care - most of them still followed school rules. It was like everyone was so desperate for normality, that it resulted in them following the rules, hoping that it would make them feel less lost. Kenny could relate to that, missing how normal things used to be in South Park when they were kids. If he was being honest, Kenny wished that things would go back to the way they used to be, even if it meant he still lived in that shitty house. The house he lived in now, although not in the best shape, was a mansion compared to his old home.

Only Token and Cartman were with Kenny in the school now, as the other boys had gone onto different classes. Token was clearly uncomfortable with something though, walking closer to Kenny than he normally would, glancing behind his shoulder in fear. Looking behind him, Kenny noticed the group of guys that often harassed Kyle, motioning for Token and Cartman to go on without him so he could talk to these random people without worrying about their safety. Token was hesitant, not wanting Kenny to fight his battle for him, but walked away anyways, knowing what these guys were capable of, given the chance. The group, of what Kenny assumed were neo-nazis, stopped in front of him, wide, and creepy smiles on their faces. All of them were white (obviously), with shaved heads, evil eyes, and similar tattoos. Not being oblivious to the racism Token had always experienced, and how much worse it had gotten since their city changed, Kenny knew that they were looking to harass, or possibly hurt, his friend.

"What do you want?" Kenny questioned harshly, squinting his eyes slightly at all of them harshly. He suspected that the reason Token didn't stay, was from their known status of carrying knives, and carving racist things into people. Just the thought made Kenny want splatter their blood all over the walls on the school, but he held back, for Token's sake. He didn't know a lot about who they were, but if they were the group he thought they were, they had almost killed multiple people, just for not being white.

The guy in the front, whom Kenny assumed was the leader, laughed confidently. Unfortunately, the guy had rather large arms, and showed them off to Kenny by crossing his arms over his chest, stepping a little closer. "Oh, we don't have a problem with you, Kenny McCormick. We do have a problem with your n-"

"Do _not_ finish that sentence, you racist, dickhole." Kenny didn't waste time insulting the people he hated the most on this Earth, biting his tongue from saying more, that could cause a fight to break out. Kenny could deal with the type of people that didn't like anyone at all, but the people who hated someone because of their race, gender, sexuality, or religion? Kenny refused to interact with those type of people, and he sure as hell hated them. "I know you've been bothering Token. If you continue," Not giving a shit that he was in school now, wanting to make his point clear, Kenny pulled his handgun out of the waist band of his jeans, pointing it directly at the leader's forehead. "I'll blast your ignorant brains out."

Although Kenny was holding a gun to the guy's fucking head, he didn't show any fear, only nodding at the threat like Kenny had just offered to take him out to dinner. The douche bag signaled something to one of the guys behind him, all of them slowly backing away from Kenny's gun in sync. Still, the leader smiled, waving at Kenny in a teasing manner. "See you soon."

They walked off in the opposite direction of where Kenny was standing, prompting him to hide his gun once they were completely out of sight. Taking a deep breath, Kenny decided that he had enough of guns for today, and began to walk to class, trying to stop the shaking of his body from the anger that had, once again, spilled over. As soon as he lifted his head though, Kenny saw the blonde boy standing at a water fountain, eyes wide with fear as he stared at Kenny, as if he was waiting for Kenny to pull a gun on him, too. Attempting to speak with him and explain, Kenny opened his mouth carefully, but, again, the boy ran off before Kenny could even have a goddamned _second_ to start a sentence. Even as the boy ran away from him, he couldn't help but to admire how cute he was, for the billionth time today. It was like a fucked up curse that Kenny couldn't shake. It was aggravating.

Though Kenny wanted to run after the small boy, he knew that he couldn't. Not only did he have to get to class, he also felt like the boy was afraid of him, for whatever reason. Well, maybe, now, it might be because he saw Kenny pull a fucking gun on someone, yet at the beginning of the day, he had been acting that way also, and even the thought of someone being scared of him, made Kenny a little sad. He wanted bad people to be afraid of him, but cute, angelic boys? No, definitely not. Especially since he seemed so innocent, and kind - something that was rare in South Park, and that Kenny was desperate to have in his life.

As Kenny tried to distract his thoughts from the new kid, again, he walked into class late, only kind of hearing a complaint from his teacher, one of the few that could control a class. He silently sat down though, glaring at the people that were staring at him, not even trying to pay attention to who they were exactly, or what they were even staring at. Craig and Cartman were behind him, though, at the moment, his mind was only on Token's safety, and the blonde boy that kept showing up out of nowhere. Kenny knew that Token could take care of himself when it came to the racism, yet, he knew there _had_ to be more of a reason than knives that Token wouldn't face them directly. Token was strong, and it was unlike him to back away from racist, white trash, assholes - but, he did, and Kenny was worried. It was just another thing that Kenny needed to discuss at their meeting after school, or, a better option, would to only speak to Token about it when they could be alone.

The rest of the day went by smoothly, though, Kenny took his time leaving school, unlike his friends, who practically fought their way out of there. He felt like he needed to organize himself before, and get some thoughts straight that he had been having trouble with. In general, it was unusual for Kenny to be the _last_ to arrive at the group's meetings, since, normally, he always the first one there, impatiently waiting for everyone else to show up. Everything had to be different this time though, Kenny had decided earlier, because there were many things that needed to be changed, and discussed, that he should be willing to change in numerous ways, and prove that to his friends. That's why, for this meeting, Kenny was late, taking the time to write down, and organize, all of the problems that they were having. If they were a normal group of friends, they would've been able to discuss things normally, however since they were technically a "gang", this had to be treated as a whole - an organization.

Watching his friends from afar, Kenny sighed as he looked at his scribbled notes. For some reason, he really didn't like the way they looked, or maybe he didn't like the fact that he couldn't just talk to his friends like he always did. He quickly crumbled them up, deciding he didn't need them, stuffing them in his pocket, so he didn't leave anything for a potential enemy to find, though it would be odd for one to look for random notes of his. Feeling confident in himself again, Kenny strolled slowly to where his friends were waiting, playing loud rap music over the speakers as Stan, Craig, Clyde, and Token skateboarded, the rest of the boys smoking a joint, talking happily among themselves. Since the music was so loud, (which Kenny would definitely scold them for later since there were a lot of kids in this neighborhood) they didn't hear Kenny approach, talking nonsense about things at school, or about girls in their class. Cartman noticed Kenny's appearance though, and signaled to Stan, who stopped in the middle of a ramp, barely catching himself enough to make a smooth landing, flipping his skateboard up with the tip of his foot, his fingers grabbing the other end of the skateboard. The other boys stopped quickly as they noticed Stan's stop, and made their way to a place where they could listen to Kenny.

There was a few minutes of silence as Kenny paced, trying to figure out where to start. He had never had so many issues to discuss with them before, so he didn't know how exactly to handle everything. It seemed as if every day, there was a new threat, worry, or problem that Kenny had to try and figure out. It was apparent to the rest of the boys that Kenny was struggling mentally though, all of them exchanging looks as their leader muttered to himself, his shoulders tense, and flat like plywood. Finally, though, Kenny stopped, facing all of them with the start of what was going to be a long meeting. "Things have changed a lot recently." Kenny started, pausing for what he thought was good dramatic effect. Kenny kind of liked drama, so he enjoyed the moment more than the others, since they were eager to know what this meeting was about. "I know the main concern is me, and my out-of-control anger."

Immediately, Stan's hand went up, and Kenny fought back the urge to roll his eyes at his best friend. Stan didn't wait to be called on though, not that he would even have to be, and began talking, towards Kenny where he was sat with everyone else on top of the ramps. "Dude, I know your anger is a concern, but it's definitely not _our_ main concern."

Scrunching his eyebrows at Stan's blunt words, Kenny scowled, more at himself. Now, he really felt he didn't know what was going with them anymore. "Then what's your main concern?"

Stan looked around at the other boys, looking for confirmation to share what all of them had been thinking for a quite a few weeks. Most them nodded quickly at Stan, but Kyle only scowled, being the only one who didn't feel the same. "We.. uh, we're concerned with what exactly we're doing."

Kenny didn't mean to narrow his eyes, but he did, looking like he was pissed. More so, Kenny was afraid that he was going to lose his friends, almost stuttering as he began talking. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Stan looked around at everyone else again, desperate for anyone else to speak up, but, like always, Stan was the only speaking for all of them. He sighed heavily before continuing, making a note to curse out the others later. "Why are we selling drugs, and weapons all the time? Like, we want to know if it's hurting people, so we can, ya know, stop."

Even though Stan didn't explain it that well, since he was a little bit drunk probably, Kenny understood what he meant, relaxing. Kenny had often thought of this too, and although the answer wasn't the easiest to explain, it made sense to him, and he was going to his best to explain it. "Since South Park has become the worst city in Colorado, a lot of us have been desperate to make money, and I understand why all of you are hesitant to the things we're doing." Kenny paused for a moment, only looking at his hands as sirens erupted through the city, adding an even more tense feeling to the discussion. Taking a second to look at his surroundings, and gather more complex thoughts, Kenny found himself wanting the same things they did - to step away from the intense life that they had suddenly adapted to. "After today, I don't think we should sell weapons. For now on, I would like to only sell weed sometimes, and keep to ourselves. I don't care if you guys don't want to sell weed anymore either, I get how you're feeling. If I'm being honest, nothing is turning out how I thought it would."

"W-What do you mean, man?" Tweek questioned immediately, shaking next to Craig as he held a blunt, the effects of the weed not obvious at all.

When they first started out, they had the idea to bring justice for the people who couldn't get it. Back then, they were spray painting inspirational things, and just having a good time, but now, Kenny had gotten them into some deep shit. Now, it wasn't about justice at all. "I-I just wanted us to help people, but now, all we do is contribute to the fucked up society that _is_ South Park. We've - _I've_ \- got to do something to change. I never wanted this for us, and I honestly don't know how it got to this point.. as your leader though, I take full responsibility for the shit I've put everyone through. And," Stan could sense something big was coming, dropping his flask from his hand as Kenny said the exact thing none of them wanted: "I don't think any of you should be associated with me anymore."

"Kenny!" Stan shouted immediately, running across the ramp like fucking spider-man, grabbing Kenny by the collar of his shirt for no reason, really. Grinding his teeth together, Stan almost growled as he tried to find words to fight for his friend. "We don't want that, dumb-ass!"

Before Kenny could even get a word out, Kyle stood up next to him, his hands on his hips. "Dude, don't be stupid. We love you."

"Guys," Lightly pulling Stan's hands away from his shirt, Kenny moved away a little, looking at all of them with a sad smile on his face. He was sure that this was the right thing to do, for the sake of his friends and their futures, no matter how much it hurt them, and him. "I'm the one that's has got us into trouble with other gangs, and gotten us into fights. You guys were selling drugs for me!"

Craig stood up now also, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of the situation, feeling as if he was in a lame Disney movie. Still though, Craig felt like he needed to say something before Kenny ran away to fucking Texas, or did something ridiculous like that. "We're capable of making our own mistakes, man. We could've said no, but it does help us get money."

If anyone had asked Kenny how he was feeling, he would've told the person that he was feeling overwhelming love - something he hadn't felt in such a long time, he could barely grasp the feeling. That's why, as Kenny was standing in front of everyone, he began clenching his chest over where his heart was, not recognizing the warm feeling spilling from his heart. He sat down as Tweek lightly touched his elbow, recognizing when someone was on the verge of a freak out. Tweek made Kenny's eyes connect with his by tapping his elbow rapidly, and even though it was hard because he was shaking so much, Tweek eventually made it happen. "K-Kenny, we're not leaving the group, dude. Fuck, w-we're still planning on selling weed, even though the government is totally onto us, AGH!"

Now Cartman, Token, and Clyde were next to Tweek, nodding their head along side his words. Token only smile softly, not knowing what to say to someone who had never showed their emotions like this before. Clyde, being the biggest dumb-ass ever, patted Kenny's shoulder, opening his mindless mouth: "Don't worry, we're not mad at you for making us into a gang."

There could be a slap heard, that Kenny could only assume was Kyle slapping his forehead, but the comment didn't make Kenny mad in the slightest. Instead, he broke out into a wide, genuine smile, starting to laugh lightly at first, eventually erupting into more laughter. The rest of the boys just stared at him, completely taken off guard by the sound of Kenny's loud laughter, some of them breaking out into smiles from the happiness apparent on their friends' face. Stan, being a little drunk still, fell into laughter with him, nearly falling back into the ramp, which just made Kenny's laughter louder.

Craig only smirked at Kenny, a twinkle apparent in his eye, that was very new for all of them. "You look like a fucking crazy person, Ken."

Without missing a beat, despite still laughing, Kenny held up a middle finger, smirking at Craig. "Suck a dick, Craig."

On any other day, that gesture may have made Craig want to rip Kenny's ears off, but today, it just made him smile a little. Thankfully, no one saw him smile, too focused on the shift in atmosphere in their group, though, Kenny did see the genuine smile, and it kind of made his heart skip a beat. He ignored it though, allowing himself to feel the relief instead; they were all more than grateful the things went so well, especially since all of them were convince that Kenny was going to flip the fuck out, and even though Kyle had disagreed with the entire thing, as Kenny started telling a funny story, like he used to do all the time, Kyle was glad that it had happened.

For the next few hours, the boys sat at the skate park, randomly skating, and taking hits from cigarettes and blunts, talking and laughing as they always used to do. Kenny couldn't remember the last time he had this much fun, and was trying to make every second count as the sun got closer to setting, a major concern tugging at the back of his mind, but he ignored it, trying to spend his time with his friends. As it officially got dark though, they made their way back towards their neighborhood, a light, and happy mood still settled in the group, but now even Stan was thinking about the same thing Kenny was, and kept looking at him, trying to secretly communicate with their protector. Kenny caught Stan's eye, and motioned him to come closer so that they could talk, and not worry everyone else. If they were going to change everything, both Kenny and Stan didn't want the boys to worry about this stuff anymore.

Stan and Kenny walked closely together, trying to act as normal as possible, inputting random things into the conversations that were going on to distract them. Stan, Kenny, Craig, and Kyle walked everyone else home, making sure they all got into their houses safely. As soon as it was just the four of them, Kenny looked around them, pulling out his gun, keeping it at his side lowly. At first, Kyle was freaked out, but as soon as he saw what Stan and Kenny had seen over an hour ago, he calmly walked behind Kenny, watching as Stan boyfriend also pulled his secret gun (Kenny totally forgot he even had it) out of his waist band, his flask in another hand as he openly pointed the gun at the group of people that had been following them for too long. Craig was just standing casually next to Kyle, his hands shoved in his pocket, not feeling afraid in the slightest. He knew that if they're were going to kill them, they would've already, and Kenny and Stan knew that too.

Kenny, not appreciating their lack of movement, or words, raised his gun too, waiting for the moment where things could get bloody. Instead of a physical intimidation though, one of the guys in the group spoke up, unable to be seen by Kenny from the darkness. "We'll be back." They all backed away together, the four boys not breathing until they were gone for at least five minutes. Kenny immediately got tense as the words, and the voice, echoed in his mind, not because he knew the person personally, but he had a guess as to who they could be. Kenny and Stan had discussed this several times over the last few years, and had been carefully avoiding coming in contact with them, and yet, somehow, they had found them. They were dangerous people, and Kenny and Stan didn't feel comfortable even talking about them in the open like they were.

"Okay," Kenny started, tucking his gun back into his waist band, seeing Stan shakily do the same. This was not fucking good, and right after they had such a great time at the skate park? _Why now? Jesus fucking Christ.._ Kenny thought harshly to himself as he thought about they should do, only taking a few seconds to decide. "Let's go back to my place."

With Kyle being too shook up to even talk, or ask questions, the short walk from Clyde's street, to Kenny's was quiet. As soon as they were in, Kenny quickly locked all of the locks, rushing over to the backdoor to make sure it was secure, too. Nearly shitting himself as he realized he hadn't checked on his sister yet, Kenny sprinted up the stairs as Craig, Kyle and Stan sat at the dinning room table, Kyle shaking like a leaf on a fucking tree, Stan holding him tightly against his chest as Craig just casually smoked a joint. Kenny was relieved to find though, that Karen was sitting in her room, listening to music, and doing her homework - what he didn't expect to find though, was Kevin in his room.

Walking in slowly as to not startle him, Kenny was more than nervous to know if those people had tried to hurt Kevin, or Karen. It was pretty weird that he was home, too, since tonight wasn't a usual night off for him. "K-Kevin?"

Kevin took off his headphones excitedly as soon as he heard Kenny's voice, grabbing his brother into a bone crushing hug, laughing deeply. Since Kevin worked all the time, it had been about two weeks since they really saw each other, which was hard since they had grown so close since they were younger. Kevin released Kenny after a moment, ruffling his dirty-blonde hair, still smiling widely. "What's been up, man? I missed your stupid ass."

Smirking a little now, Kenny rolled his eyes, pushing his brother's shoulder slightly. "Just been gettin' ass, unlike you." Kevin scoffed sarcastically, their banter still fresh, and weird as ever. "You off tonight?"

"Yeah," Kevin sighed, sitting down and stretching in his computer chair. "But I gotta work early in the morning."

Kenny nodded, suddenly remembering that he left his friends in the kitchen. He would've really liked to talk to Kevin for longer, but he had to work in the morning, and Kenny had some serious shit to figure out. "Shit, I forgot to tell you that Stan, Kyle, and Craig are here."

Common with the McCormick's, Kevin didn't give a shit, lighting up a joint. "Alright, you know I'll knock out. Just don't wake Karen up."

Saying a quick goodnight, Kenny left Kevin's room, stopping at Karen's room before going back to his friends. Karen looked up happily as she knew it was Kenny who entered her room, beaming at the sight of the person she admired the most. Kenny sat at the end of her bed, rubbing her cheek softly for a moment before looking over her homework, making sure that she wasn't missing anything. It was amazing to read some of her work for school, like, now, Kenny was reading a little bit of her paper of the history of South Park, and was astonished by the level of writing she was at. "Ken?"

Looking up, pulling him from his impressed thoughts of Karen, Kenny smiled tightly. "Yeah, Kar?"

She wanted to ask what was wrong with her brother, yet, she felt he would tell her when he was ready, so, she instead threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. "I love you forever."

Kenny's eyes brimmed with tears as he hugged his sister tightly, his fear nearly taking over as he held the most important person in his life safely in his arms. As to not cry in front of her, and scare her, Kenny let her go gently, kissing her forehead before standing up, walking halfway out the door, before turning around to grab the handle, and slowly close the door. "I love you forever, infinity. Don't stay up too late, okay?."

As soon as the door was closed, Kenny let a few tears slip, angrily wiping them away. Those fucking people following him, were not here because of something he did - it was something his parents did, and even in prison, they were still fucking him, and his siblings over. All Kenny fucking wanted, was for Karen to be safe, and this situation, was scaring the shit out of him, and possibly giving him slight panic attacks at the memory of when she was kidnapped a few years ago. Sighing after a few minutes of calming himself down, Kenny walked down the stairs, surprised to Stan, Craig, and Kyle still there, but wasn't surprised to see them passing around two blunts. Sitting down, Kenny was passed one of the blunts by Craig, who didn't even bother to look up at him. Stan made a face as their eyes connected, which meant that Kenny would have a lot of explaining to do. Especially to Kyle.

"First off," Kenny took a long ass hit as Kyle and Craig looked towards him now, both pretty stoned, and calm now. "sorry I took so long upstairs, Kevin is home and I haven't seen him in forever." Kyle raised an eyebrow, but nodded anyways, obviously not aware of his living situation. Stan and Kenny both had the habit of not telling people things. The only reason why Craig wasn't surprised, is because he lived next to him, and basically knew everything that went on there. "Secondly, that group of guys following us, are from the Irish Mob."

Kyle threw up his hands immediately, the blunt nearly flying from his fingers, completely baffled by the casual way Kenny said it, like that fact wasn't terrifying, and not normal. "Dude! What the fuck? You got involved with the fucking Irish Mob? Are you-"

"He didn't - he isn't." Stan cut his boyfriend off, even though he knew he was definitely going to get shit from it later. As Kyle waited for an explanation, Stan looked at Kenny asking him for permission to explain a little, which Kenny granted, nodding his head once. "His parents were involved with them for some reason, I think for the meth they cooked. Back when they went to prison, they threatened Kenny and I while we on a walk, out of the blue, but haven't been back until tonight."

Panicked because his boyfriend was threatened by a _goddamn mob_ , Kyle dragged Stan across the table, Stan's legs dangling off the edge, his entire body on the table as Kyle started yelling at him, not giving a shit if Kenny and Craig were witness to it. "STANLEY MARSH, YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO TELL ME? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? YOU DAMN IDIOT, I LOVE YOU AND I-"

Thankfully, Kyle's yelling was cut off by Stan pressing his lips to his suddenly, and they immediately started kissing heatedly, obviously not caring that there were two other people there. Kenny cringed as he looked away, not wanting to see his friends violently make out on top of where he usually ate - well, used to eat now. Craig and Kenny locked eyes, both of them rolling their eyes as Stan and Kyle continued to make out. Kenny got up, motioning for Craig to come with him outside, where they could smoke a cigarette, and not be around all the sexual tension in the kitchen. Craig followed without a word, sitting gently next to Kenny as they got outside, Kenny lighting his cigarette quickly, taking a long drag from it as he thought about what his future was going to look like now that the Irish Mob was bothering him, again. If he didn't do anything to them, why the fuck were they even messing with him?

 _My parents must've really fucked them over, and now they want to get at me for revenge. It's fucking stupid, but I'm definitely screwed._ Kenny thought to himself, taking hit after hit of his cigarette, anxiously puffing out his smoke like a chimney, and Craig couldn't help to stare at him as he did so, a little amused by the fact that Kenny was actually scared. With his own cigarette hanging from his mouth, Craig snapped Kenny out of his trance by suddenly speaking: "You wanna talk about it?"

Completely forgetting that they had started to talk about the Mob before Kyle and Stan started making out, Kenny blinked. "What?"

Craig rolled his eyes, flicking ash off of his cigarette, avoiding Kenny's piercing blue eyes. "Irish Mob. Explain more."

Kenny put out his cigarette, clasping his hands together tightly as he leaned his elbows on his knees. If Kenny was honest, he was anxious, feeling like someone was watching him, or listening to him - he felt like Tweek, paranoia coming out of his ass. "I guess, my parents started to distribute from the Irish Mob. Heroine and Meth, I think. Since my parents are fucking stupid, they kept stealing money, and drugs. You would think that the Mob would be able to fuck with my parents in prison, but I guess they're under a protective order, since they told the courts everything about the Mob. Um, so my parents basically fucked me, and my siblings over, leaving us to either be murdered, or tortured, for something we weren't even involved in."

There was a thick silence as Craig realized how serious the situation was. Back in the house, Craig thought that Kenny was just being stupid, and was mistaking that group of guys for a Mob, but after hearing Kenny explain it, he knew that it was definitely not a joke. Kenny was actually in trouble, and it kind of freaked Craig out, since Kenny was never scared when it came to people trying to hurt him. Craig felt that if Kenny was scared in this situation, that maybe he should be, too. Kenny was more than freaked out - he couldn't die, though Karen, Kevin, and his friends definitely could, and Kenny couldn't figure out how to protect everyone, at all times. There was no way for them to get protection, since the police didn't give a shit, and they didn't even have enough police officers to spare, anyways. He had to protect them all, Kenny had promised each of them, for as long as he's known them, that he would be there, they would be safe. What was he supposed to say now?

Getting snapped out a trance by Kenny's shaking, Craig didn't really know what to do. Sure, he knew what everyone else would do in that situation, but his and Kenny's relationship was a lot more complicated than it should've been, and Craig didn't know what would be normal, and what would be crossing a line. Although, when it came to Kenny, it was pretty fucking hard to cross a line, especially since he never got uncomfortable. So, just because Kenny was genuinely scared, Craig moved closer to him, and gently put an arm around his shoulder, leaning Kenny on his shoulder. Kenny was surprised as Craig did this, and found himself cuddling into him, still taken over by intense fear. It was going to be a long night.


	5. Chapter 5

Usually when Kenny woke up, he was alone, and he had learned to prefer it that way, yet, as Kenny's alarm started to blare on the floor next to his bed, Kenny found someone sleeping on the ground. The night before, when he ended up kind-of cuddling with Craig on the porch, they had smoked way too many blunts, and after they went inside, the rest of the night was basically a blur for Kenny, though he knew that had just passed out. Still, it was way too weird for Kenny to wake up with Craig on the floor, especially since he could've just gone home any time he wanted.

Scowling at the ceiling now, Kenny decided to wake up Stan or Kyle downstairs to at least get his mind off of the things worrying him. It wasn't going to help him if he just laid there thinking about those things, and the ways to fix them, Kenny really felt like he should be doing _something_. Quietly stepping over Craig, when Kenny finally had enough motivation himself to get up, he grabbed an orange hoodie, and pulled it over his black t-shirt, not even really paying attention to the pants he reached for in his dresser. He decided to just pull on his pants in the hallway, after closing the door, not wanting to make enough noise for Craig to wake up, and make him feel awkward about the entire situation. It wasn't that he was afraid to talk to Craig, but, he definitely was in a way, since this was so abnormal for their friendship. Kenny had hooked up with guys before, and though they didn't hook up, Kenny found himself wishing that they did, at the same time though, he didn't want that with Craig - the possibility that one of them would catch feelings was just too high. He had more important things to worry about now, anyways, he didn't need to be worrying about whether or not he and Craig should screw around. At this point, no matter how often Kenny had thought about them messing around for awhile, the short answer: was no.

Kenny tried to be quiet as he walked down the wooden steps, the fragile stairs not caring that Kenny was being considerate, of course, creaking, and wheezing under his light steps. As he reached the bottom of the stairs though, Kenny realized that the kitchen light was on, and Kyle and Stan were sitting at the counter top, whispering to each other seriously, with cups of coffee in their hands. They didn't even notice that Kenny was standing there until he cleared his throat, causing both of their heads to whip towards him, their eyes wide like they were expecting him to be someone else, like someone from the goddamn Irish Mob. Kenny wouldn't have blamed them if they were expecting someone to show up to kill them, he was kind of expecting it, too - only, he didn't think that they would hurt of any of his friends, or, more like, hoped they wouldn't. Even though Kenny knew what they were talking about, since they would've only been talking about one thing so seriously, he only smiled tightly at them, dragging his feet across the floor to the coffee pot, not wanting to utter a word until caffeine was in his system. Since Stan and Kyle had been too busy making out endlessly last night, they still had to actually talk about the situation.

Stan didn't care whether Kenny was in a good mood or not though, hopping down from his seat at the counter, walking pointedly to where Kenny was pouring his coffee. Kenny could see that Stan was upset, not at him, but at something, and he was not looking to hold back. With his arms crossed firmly over his chest, something he did to hold himself together when he was really angry, Stan got right to the point of the conversation: "Ken, we need to talk about what to do."

This was the best time to discuss the situation, since the rest of the boys that weren't aware of what was happening hadn't shown up yet. So, with that in mind, Kenny agreed, taking a long sip of his coffee before answering. "Okay. Will you wake up Craig first?"

Only nodding before going up the stairs, Stan looked at the floor as he turned away, probably frustrated with the stressful situations in his life. Kenny was now left alone with Kyle, who looked suspicious, wanting to question Kenny as to why Craig was in his room, un like Stan, who hadn't even noticed. Kyle, not looking away from Kenny, loudly sipped his coffee, his eyes like daggers, obviously trying to pressure Kenny into giving up the information. Since, when it came to information about himself, he wasn't easy to crack, Kenny just stared back, which made Kyle just give up, and ask what he wanted to: "What's up with you and Craig?" Having an automatic response, Kenny only shrugged, looking down at his own cup, swearing to himself repeatedly, since he _really_ didn't want to talk about this right now. Kyle was good at reading people, and at that moment, he knew that Kenny was totally full of shit. Setting down his cup now, Kyle folded his hands together patiently, which didn't reflect what was happening inside of him, his blood boiling as he tried to hold back from choking his friend out. "Bullshit, dude! There's always a lot of sexual tension, and then he sleeps in your room? You need to explain, and you need to explain because, I thought, he was interested in Tweek, and you were supportive of that."

The last thing Kenny wanted, was for Craig to come down the stairs, and hear them talking about him, and things that Kyle wasn't even supposed to know about. To avoid that possible, and very awkward, situation, Kenny motioned for Kyle to just follow him outside to his favorite spot in the world: his back porch. Stan had always thought that it was weird that Kenny's favorite was the back porch of his house, but it meant way more to Kenny than anyone could begin to understand. He had spent so many nights out there by himself, looking up at the sky and looking for something better; it was his closest friend for a long time, and the place he felt safest. It was the spot he went when his parents fought, it was the spot he went when his parents were being arrested, and it was the spot that gave him the confidence to fight for what he thought was right. Maybe it wouldn't have made sense to anyone else, but as long as it made sense to him, that was all that mattered. Still though, Kenny wished that there was someone who would share his feelings for the porch - it was a gateway for someone to really understand who he was as a person.

"Ken?" Kyle asked softly, noticing the strange look of focus on his face. For a brief moment, Kyle was afraid he may have pushed Kenny too far on the Craig thing.

Even he had heard him, and snapped out of his trance, Kenny's eyes didn't leave the sky as he remembered the entire reason they came out there. It wasn't that he forgot or anything, just often distracted by the constant, and random, thoughts running through his head, like they were competing in a marathon. Finally catching up to the right collection of thoughts, Kenny sighed, laughing lightly as he looked into Kyle's worried eyes, deciding to just relax, and be honest. "Nothing happened between Craig and I last night - or ever, actually. Yeah, we have sexual tension, but he really likes Tweek, and as I honestly do kinda wanna fuck him, I wouldn't unless he wanted to."

At the mention of Craig's biggest secret, (that Kenny should've kept to himself, but he knew that Kyle could keep a secret) Kyle broke out into a huge grin, his guess from earlier being correct, relaxing against the siding of the house. "Thank god! You know, I kind of just guessed a few minutes ago when I said that. He's not very good at keeping it a secret."

Since Kyle was so observant, he wasn't surprised that he noticed how obvious Craig was with it - at the same time though, Kenny had thought that it had been obvious to everyone, though, when he had asked Stan about it a few months back, Stan said he hadn't noticed anything, and still didn't get the fact that Craig liked Tweek. Obviously, when it came to Stan and Kyle, Kenny couldn't keep secrets. That probably wasn't such a bad thing in general, but Craig would probably try to kill Kenny if he somehow found out he told them. Kyle was still going on and on about how cute they would be together, Kenny having tuned him out awhile ago, getting lost in his thoughts again; he had promised everyone that he would be his carefree, funny, and relaxed self again, yet, Kenny knew it wasn't possible at the moment. How the hell would he even be able to relax when the Irish Mob was stalking him, and threatening his life? Except though, the other boys didn't know about this, and it would have to result in Kenny lying to them, and appearing as if everything was okay. It was wrong, on the hand other, Kenny believed he had to do it, to protect his friends.

Kyle's voice was cut off abruptly by the sound of the door opening, Stan's head peaking out to his two favorite people, motioning them inside with a tired smile. Kenny shoved his shaking hands in his pockets as he kept thinking about how to deal with such dangerous people, and alone, at that. Craig, Stan and Kyle all exchanged an exhausted, and worried look as Kenny sat at the table, staring in his coffee, like it held the secrets to life, silently. Stan and Kyle were worried, while Craig just thought he was just acting weird, in fact, Craig was a little annoyed by his behavior, even though last night, he remembered how much he had enjoyed being around Kenny. He liked to be as indecisive, as much as Kenny liked to be cocky.

"Are you guys just going to sit there and stare at me all day?" Kenny's voice was lathered in sass as he still stared at his coffee, a small smirk creeping onto his face. They were a little relieved that he had made a joke, which released some of the tension in the room - only some, though.

Rolling his eyes, as always, Craig sighed, putting his palms flat on the surface of the table, his patience finally disappearing. "Alright, man, I'll bite. What's the plan?"

Expecting Kenny to be bursting out of the seams with an elaborate plan, Kyle and Stan looked to him, anxiously tightening their grips on each other. As much as they wanted Kenny to have a plan, he didn't even have a _single thought_ on how to protect anyone, or get the mob to leave them alone. Kenny was stuck in-between two walls, and everyone was expecting him to figure a way out, without using any tools. Sighing heavily, Kenny ran his hands through his hair roughly, the dirty blonde tips sticking out between his fingers as he held his scarred hands flat on the top of head, his wrists resting on his forehead as he leaned all of his weight into setting his elbows on the table. "I have no plan, besides not telling anyone else that isn't at this table right now."

Stan just stared at his hands, as Kyle and Craig glared at Kenny, kind of wanting to rip his throat out. They didn't understand the amount of pressure all of this put on Kenny, giving him all of the responsibility when he was just one person. He avoided their eyes, following Stan's lead, and trying to avoid the conversation totally now. Kyle couldn't keep quiet for long though, as always, needing to put people in their place all the time. His ginger friend, threw up his hands, looking at Stan for back-up as he still couldn't wrap his mind around what Kenny had said: "Are you fucking with us? You better be fucking with us."

For the first time in awhile, Kenny got angry with Kyle, wanting to slap his know-it-all mouth, so that he wouldn't be able to speak again, but, knowing that would be an overreaction, Kenny slammed his palms on the table instead, causing everyone to jump. His face was red and hot with anger, as his nails dug into the hard-wood table, having enough of their heavy reliance on him. "Am I always supposed to have a fucking solution, Kyle? If you have a solution, why don't _you_ fucking say it?" Kyle crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking at the floor as he realized that Kenny was absolutely right, and he never should've said anything. "I don't give a shit what happens to me, but if I make the wrong move, any of you could be killed! So, stop putting so much fucking pressure on me, and give me more than one goddamn day to figure it out!"

The room stayed silent as Kenny stood up, and suddenly walked to the fridge, pulling out the last thing any of them expected: a beer. It wasn't like Kenny to drink, just to drink, that was more of Stan's thing, but it was obvious that the whole situation was causing so much emotional distress, that he didn't even know how to handle it. Stan shrugged at Kyle and Craig, taking a huge swig from his flask as Kenny chugged the beer, the other two boys sitting at the table silently, baffled about what had just happened in the last few minutes. Kyle felt like he needed to apologize though, and cleared his throat, prompting Kenny to raise an eyebrow at him, opening his hand for Stan's flask, being passed it with no protest. "Look, Ken, I'm sorry for being an asshole, but we just want to know how to help. I don't know what to do."

Now, Kenny felt like an asshole for overreacting so much, again, at the same time, he felt like he couldn't help it when it came to the safety of the people he cared about most. Kenny handed back Stan's flask as he sat at the table calmly now, taking a deep breath to focus on the more important things, and trying to just communicate with his friends, instead of dropping far into his emotions. "It' okay, Ky." Kenny started, smiling at Kyle as best as he could manage at the moment. "I'm just.. I'm just trying to fix everything by myself. I'll try my best to think up the base of a plan, and we could talk about it Saturday night, or Sunday morning. For now, can we just have fun? I'm feeling like I really need it, guys."

All of them nodded, feeling basically the same, but, then again, Stan always felt like that. Kyle almost always went with the flow of things, unless it was against his morals of course, and Craig didn't give a fuck about anything, so, in light of those facts, Kenny lit up a blunt and passed it left to Craig, both of them ignoring the fact that their fingers brushed together. Kenny took another swig of Stan's flask before giving it back for good this time, since he didn't want to be drunk at school, just buzzed enough to be happy, or to talk to the cute boy who had seemed to latch himself onto Kenny's brain. Even when his thoughts were at his most serious, Kenny couldn't shake that damn new kid from his mind, despite him knowing there was no chance that they would ever interact. The small boy was obviously not from South Park, and was afraid of Kenny - probably because he always looked beat up, and angry all the time. He was one of the many reasons that today, Kenny was going to be himself as best as he could, and relax. Should be easy, right?

"WHAT'S UP VIRGINS!" Clyde burst through the front door without any warning, not giving a shit about how loud he was being, Token following like an embarrassed mom.

Instead of Kenny getting angry for how loud he had entered like he usually would, he giggled, just sticking up a middle finger, a loopy grin on his face. He really couldn't decide whether he was actually being himself again, or whether it was just the alcohol and weed setting into his system. Either way, Kenny snapped an answer back to Clyde's untrue greeting, harshly: "Clyde, you're the only virgin here." Although that wasn't true, Kenny was not about to embarrass Tweek and Cartman, even though everyone else knew anyways. Pretending to be offended, Clyde gasped, fanning his face as he pretended to cry, just ending up looking like an idiot. Over his dramatic attitude, Kenny addressed everyone else: "Boys, come smoke."

Token shoved past Clyde, making a gross face at him as Tweek followed closely behind, avoiding looking anyone - especially Craig. It was kind of funny seeing how similar their situation was to Kenny's, except he wasn't friends with the new kid, and shit, Kenny just realized he didn't even know his name yet. He didn't think about it anymore though as he passed Token his blunt, watching Craig repeatedly side-glance at Tweek, a scowl on his face. Kenny felt as if they needed a push, and he had helped Stan and Kyle get together, so why not do the same for those two? Just the thought of trying to push Craig to admit feelings for someone, to their face, sent Kenny over the edge, causing him to double over with laughter as if he was high out of his mind, but he couldn't helped to keep imagining how angry, and flustered Craig would actually get.

Cartman, who had silently been on his phone the whole time, smirked up at Kenny. "Seems like you feel good today, Ken."

After wiping a dramatic tear out of eye, Kenny shrugged, smiling at each of his friends, his eyes closed tightly as he showed his teeth, for what seemed like the first time in forever. On top of that, clever comments and jokes were flooding into his mind, which just made him want to talk more. "Yeah, just like you mom's-"

"Kenny!" Token yelled suddenly, biting back a laugh because he knew it _was_ funny, but still felt like cutting Kenny off for the sake of his friend's feelings. "You promised Cartman, and Clyde, you wouldn't make those jokes anymore."

Back when Clyde's mom died, Kenny had stopped making mom jokes for a few years, understandably, and when he started making them again (after Clyde gave him the okay again), Cartman would get upset randomly. Since Cartman's change in personality he had become more sensitive, and had revealed that his mom was the most important person in the world to him, out loud, and despite being a decent person now, would probably try to kick Kenny's ass if he said anything about her. Honestly, Kenny really had respect for that fact, since when he was younger, she always treated Cartman with love, despite him being the worst child, ever. So, since Kenny understood how serious Cartman was, he agreed to stop, even though he knew that Cartman could never kick his ass. Kenny felt terrible, though, for forgetting the promise he made to Cartman, cringing when he realized his mistake. "Shit! I forgot, man."

Both Clyde and Cartman shrugged, a slight awkwardness filling the air as Kenny felt the weight of his mistake. They had all been little assholes as a kids, and Kenny thought that had changed, but how much can people really change? Not wanting to dwell on that question for much longer, Kenny looked at his phone, and realized they had to go to school, standing up without a word. Karen wasn't downstairs yet, and he never saw Tricia come in to walk with her to school, and that realization twisted his gut, guiltiness filling him as he didn't notice she wasn't downstairs. Why kind of brother was he, not even noticing his sister was still asleep? The Mob knew what Karen and Kevin looked like also, so Kenny couldn't help to panic at that possibility, taking off up the stairs, forgetting about his friends.

"Karen?" Kenny called as he was halfway up the steps, knocking frantically on her door as soon as he reached it, his heart pounding against his chest as he also notice that her room was still dark. "Are you okay?"

A very sleepy, and angry Karen opened the door, rubbing her eyes as she glared up at Kenny, her hair tangled, and her clothes disheveled. "I get you were trying wake me up, Ken, but that was fucking ridiculous." Before Kenny could scold her for her attitude, and her swearing for that matter, since that was something she didn't really do, she slammed the door in his face, without another explanation. Karen and Kenny had always been able to communicate well, however, she was treating him as if he had done something wrong. Kenny was starting to wonder if he had done something wrong, and hadn't realized it, either way, they would have to talk about it later.

Even though she slammed the door in his face, he called after her, hoping that she would at least hear his words: "I just wanted to make sure you made it to school, Kar. We're leaving, be safe, please. I love you." Kenny stayed there for a few more seconds, his hand on the door hoping she would open it and explain her mood, but there was only silence, prompting Kenny to give up, and go back down the stairs. He felt mopey as he stomped down the stairs, kind of itching to hit something from how frustrating it was to have a sister sometimes. He understood that there was a certain barrier because she felt like she couldn't talk about certain things with him, since he was a boy, still, he wished that it was different for the sake of her future. She was at the age where she would start her period, and Kenny was considering that maybe she had started, and wasn't completely sure what to do - hell, Kenny wouldn't know what to do if she asked him.

Kyle noticed his pouting, and looked upstairs, noting that Karen hadn't followed behind him. Having a younger brother, he understood what it was like to have a preteen to live with. It was a little different, since their siblings were different genders, but Kyle still understood there was a certain barrier at this age, too hormones under one roof. "She okay?"

In frustration, Kenny threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. "I don't even know, dude. I don't get girls."

Craig fought back the very tempting opportunity to make a joke, but started towards the door instead, Kenny following close behind him without a word. Even though Kenny had gotten annoyed, the mood of the group didn't fall as they walked to school, Kenny occasionally using Stan's skateboard as he took more swigs of his flask, and hits from the blunt that seemed to always be passed around. Sometimes, Kenny had no idea where they got their endless supply of weed - he knew that sometimes, Randy would share his weed with Stan, as for everyone else, he wasn't sure, since he was technically their plug and he hadn't had much product lately.

Everyone was as talkative as ever that day, and it distracted Kenny from thinking about his sister, or the Irish Mob, and distraction was exactly what he needed. As they got closer to the school, Clyde spotted Wendy, Bebe, and their friends Stella, and Ruby, the girl that Kenny had been flirting with the day before. Seeing Ruby, Kenny kind of cringed to himself, knowing that he had to continue showing interest in Ruby while she was around, though he wasn't interested in the slightest. Although, being the horny, teenage boy he was, he considered just sleeping with her; that thinking was against his want to be better, that action probably resulting hurting her in the end. She was really pretty, so where was the harm in flirting?

Bebe immediately approached Clyde, taking him ahead of the group as they started flirting immediately, Clyde smoothly wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Kenny was a little proud. Wendy fell into step with Tweek and Token, turning towards the rest of the group, as she proceeded to walk backwards. "Hey boys!" They all said greetings back to her, before she began talking to Tweek about some stuff at the coffee shop where they both worked, the one thing they had in common. Ruby had been walking next to Wendy, but as soon as she noticed Kenny, she smirked at him, and attempted to walk with him as he skateboarded. He tried to act like he was wrapped up in his thoughts, and his blunt, unfortunately, she knew he had seen her, and walked with her hands coolly in her pockets, still thinking that Kenny was playing hard to get. Kenny did have to admit though, she was cool, and if the cute mystery boy didn't exist, he was sure he'd be focused on at least sleeping with her for a little while; that blonde boy did exist though, so she didn't interest him. Still, to spare her feelings at the moment, Kenny slowed the skateboard, so that she could walk next to him - he could always use a new friend, anyways.

"Hey Kenny." She started calmly, barely looking at him as if she didn't care, even though she was practically swooning over the way he just stared ahead, his strong jaw clenched as the wind for his skateboarding lightly pushed his soft, blonde hair back. "What's up?"

He shrugged, his eyes wandering as they got closer to the school. Kenny wouldn't have told anyone, ever, but he was looking for the only person he was actually interested in seeing right now, at least wanting to learn his name before the end of the day. Kenny chuckled though, for her sake, motioning to their settings. "Same as you, going to hell."

Most girls would've been embarrassed from the lame question, though, Ruby chuckled along with him, pushing strands of hair back behind her ear. "I think hell has _got_ to be better than to place."

Sighing seriously now, Kenny nodded, now scowling at the disgusting the building in front of them. "I sure as fuck hope so."

As they were approaching the school, Kenny finally saw the one person he wanted to see, walking quickly to the school from the opposite side of where Kenny was, his eyes glued to the ground as he clung to his backpack straps. Like a siren had gone off to alert the boy to Kenny's stares, he looked up, his bright blue eyes locking with Kenny's, stopping him dead in his tracks. Completely distracted from how beautiful the boy was, Kenny wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, and hit a hole in the sidewalk with Stan's skateboard, sending him flying in the ground, face first.

 _Holy shit, did that really just happen right in front of him?_ Kenny thought to himself as he laid face down on the pavement, not even wanting to get up, and have to see the new kid probably laughing at him. Despite not wanting to get up, Kenny pushed himself up from the ground, feeling scrapes, and bruises, scattered all over his face, blood pouring from a few of them more than he would've expected, his nose was bound to be bleeding too, though, he couldn't even feel it at the moment. Stan approached him, and started to inspect his injuries, Kyle next to him, correcting every one of Stan's words, as he always did, while still trying to make sure Kenny didn't have a concussion. The rest of the boys held back laughs as they looked at Kenny's annoyed expression, trying to hide his small amount of embarrassment, that he mainly felt from the fact that the guy he was crushing on, saw him eat shit on the sidewalk. Seriously, what could be worse than that?

To get away from his friends, that couldn't hold back their laughter anymore, Kenny walked off to the school, waving off Stan and Kyle, trying to get to the bathroom to stop himself from bleeding everywhere. He kind of just wanted to hide, never having done something so embarrassing before, yet, Kenny knew that he was more confident that that, and he could handle people laughing at him - even if he didn't necessarily like it. People stared at him as he walked into the school, taking note of how angry he looked, and how fucked up his face had gotten. Most of them assumed that he had gotten in a fight or something, and Kenny preferred to keep it that way, even though it wasn't true. Now in front of the bathroom mirror, Kenny cringed when he realized that his face was cut open, his nose was bloody, and his lip was split - it hadn't been that hard of a fall, yet, he looked like he got the shit kicked out of him, and, at that point, Kenny felt like he had. He held paper towel to his nose as he tried to stop the bleeding, glaring at himself in the mirror. Kenny felt like a dumbass for being so distracted by a random boy, that he fell off a fucking skateboard. Just because of a boy, he was acting like a frantic, middle school girl. What was wrong with him?

The bathroom door opened with a creak, as Kenny finally stopped the blood from spilling out of his nose, he didn't even look up though, assuming it was just some other guy, or that it was one of his many friends. He picked the last option, since the person was just standing there. "Don't say anything, dude. That was the dumbest thing I've ever fucking done, I was just-" As Kenny went to talk directly to who he assumed to be a friend, he found himself face to face with the boy would made him fall in first place. The boy blinked at Kenny, that same scared look on his face that he always seemed to hold around him. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my friends."

Nodding quickly, the small boy wrapped his arms around himself as Kenny stared at him intensely, his own eyes only on the floor. "W-Well, I-I was just making sure you were okay."

Kenny smiled widely as he memorized the sound of the boy's sweet, interesting voice - it was very obvious to Kenny now this beautiful boy wasn't from anywhere close to South Park, just from the way spoke softly, and with some sort of accent. "Thank you.." Remembering that he didn't even know the boys name, Kenny stepped a little closer, throwing the paper towel in the garbage swiftly. "What's your name?"

The small boy played with his hands nervously as he still avoided Kenny's intense, dark-blue eyes. "Leopold Stotch, b-but.. I like to be called Butters."

Feeling a little faint as he repeated the name in his head, Kenny smiled loosely at Butters, wanting to just reach out, and caress his cheek. "Nice to meet you, Leo. I'm-"

"Kenny." Butters spoke quickly, his cheeks growing slightly red as he stared at the ground now, embarrassed that he knew who Kenny was. "Kenny McCormick. I know who you are." He paused for a moment, the light blue eyes flashing with what looked like a mix of annoyance, and scared: "P-Please call me Butters."

Taken back from the fact that Butters knew who he was, Kenny stood up a little straighter, concerned that his reputation had made it to Butters, before he did. He wanted to get straight to the point though, and how him the real him. "What did you hear about me, that makes you so afraid of me?"

Butters began walking towards the exit, stopping as his hand landed on the knob, then looking back at Kenny timidly, only locking eyes with him for a moment, before they fell back to the floor, his favorite place to look when he was around Kenny, apparently. "A-A lot. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, ya know, but please don't talk to me again."

Never being the type of person to listen to directions, or rules, Kenny only smirked, not really fazed from Butters harsh request. Despite a distance between them now, Kenny walked out of the bathroom, seeing Butters at his locker, and cupped his hands over his mouth, so that he would be able to hear Kenny over the crowd now. "I'll get you to like me, Leo! That's a promise."

Completely horrified by Kenny shouting about their personal conversation, Butters eyes went as wide as they could go, before he slammed his locker, and ran off down the hall, as if Kenny was going to chase after him. At that moment, it was like actual tiny hearts were flying around Kenny's head, a stupid smile on plastered on his face as he felt his heart throb at the cute boy's retreating figure. They had about a minute of interaction, but that was enough for Kenny to know that he _had_ to have Leo, no matter how long it took; he was officially stuck on him. Sure, Butters may have been scared of him, however, Kenny knew that if he could show Butters that he wasn't someone to be scared of, that he would change his mind, and maybe even give him a chance. If he couldn't have Butters feel the same, he still would've liked him to be apart of his life as a friend.

"Who were you yelling at?" Craig was suddenly next to him, his hands shoved in his pockets with a hint of annoyance in his voice. For a split second, just a second, Kenny could've _sworn_ that he sounded like he was jealous. Kenny kind of liked the idea of Craig being jealous, though.

Trying to kick the loopy smile off of his face, Kenny cleared his throat, casually shrugging, smirking a little at Craig's scrunched eyebrows. "Uh, just some kid."

Not completely buying that, Craig frowned deeper than he normally did. He really didn't like the situation for whatever reason, and it was pissing him off that he cared enough to not like it. "Just some kid? Named Butters?"

Just hearing his name, was enough to make Kenny break out into a huge smile again, not being able to contain the giddy feeling that Butters gave him. Still, though, Kenny played it off, not wanting Craig to know that he had caught feelings for someone - something that hadn't happened ever. "Yeah. New kid."

Before Craig could grill him more about the weird interaction, which he really wanted to do, oddly, Clyde approached both of them, a random pair of sunglasses half on his face as he hugged his friends close to him unwillingly, both Kenny and Craig trying to get away. "What's up, guys! How's it goin'?" Clyde was obviously really stoned, trying to use the sunglasses to hide his baked eyes, but, since they weren't even staying on his face, he looked even more baked, if that was even possible.

Kenny, not wanting Clyde to get caught, pushed him off, giving him a knowing look, wishing that he had brought his eye drops with him. Clyde was nervous about the party later, since Bebe was coming, and everyone was kind of expecting them to hook up; Kenny suspected that Clyde was feeling a lot of pressure to lose his virginity, and he knew that no one should ever feel pressured into giving something so special away. Although, coming from Kenny, it may not mean as much, since he lost it to some mystery girl on Halloween in ninth grade. Nonetheless, Kenny felt as if it was important for someone with experience to discuss it with Clyde, and confirm that he was completely sure about the decision he was going to make - if he even was planning to do this, anyways. So, as Craig was distracted by the sudden approach of everyone else,, and probably bored from the conversation, Kenny grabbed Clyde by the elbow, leading him in a different direction.

Since there were multiple times in the past that Kenny had gotten angry with Clyde, and screamed at him for hours, Clyde was super afraid of what exactly Kenny wanted with him privately, which kind of sobered him up a bit. Kenny decided to take him outside, the area being the least crowded at the moment since first hour was about to start, however, because this conversation was so important for them to have, Kenny thought it would be okay just this once. Wanting all of the boys to have bright futures, Kenny discouraged them skipping classes just to goof off, so he knew that he would definitely have to explain later to the others later. Just thinking of the rule he "enforced", made him feel like he was more of a dad than friend sometimes, even though he was right.

In the courtyard, that was dead in the center of the four large buildings that made up the school, Kenny lead quietly to a picnic table that sat under a decent tree, giving them shade from the sun that was already beating down on Colorado like a drum. Clyde timidly sat next to his friend, taking off his sunglasses as he stared at his hands, waiting to be scolded like a child. Kenny was kind of like an older brother to Clyde though, especially since his dad didn't pay attention to him anymore since his mom died; Kenny being the only person to discipline him, and teach him things he needed to know to try to prepare him for the world. They may not have a close friendship like Kenny did with Stan, or Kyle, but they were brothers, in both of their minds.

"Dude," Kenny started off, letting out a large sigh. He wanted to treat this delicately, he didn't want Clyde to get defensive, embarrassed, or angry with him. He really couldn't see a situation, though, where Clyde wouldn't freak out, and storm off, unfortunately, Kenny would just have to deal with that aftermath. "Why'd you get super stoned during school? You never do that."

Clyde tried to play it off, shrugging loosely while his back faced Kenny, who sat slightly above him, on top of the picnic table. "I-I just smoked more than I meant to, man." Since Kenny knew him so well, he could see through his bullshit, but it really didn't help that Clyde's voice had cracked at the end, which even him knew gave him away. Clyde knew that Kenny could see through his excuse, and was scared enough to actually admit to what was bothering him. Kenny was the only person he could be real with, since the other boys would make fun of him, or not take him seriously. Token would listen and offer advice, and as close as they were, he would talk to him about anything, but this. It was just too weird for him. "Um.. I'm nervous about being with Bebe at the party.."

"Okay," As Kenny tried to think of the right words, he thought about what it would've been like if someone spoke to him before he chose to hop in bed with that girl, and what he would've liked to hear. Yeah, Kenny had been a horny, fourteen year old kid, but he was still scared shitless - just as Clyde was now. "Are you guys gonna hook up? Like, did you talk about it?"

Surprisingly, Clyde smiled a little, a blush forming onto his cheeks. "Actually, we've been dating for awhile now, so it's something we've discussed. A lot." Kenny went to ask him a million questions about when they started dating, and why he hadn't told _any_ of his friends, but Clyde continued: "I really just wanted to keep it to myself for awhile. Everyone sees me as the goofball of the group that can't do anything right, and I didn't want Bebe to see that. I don't know how to explain how they're connected.. but somehow they are."

Although Clyde wasn't good at gathering his thoughts, and having them make sense, Kenny understood what he was saying. "I know what you mean, dude. Tell everyone else when you're ready, man, I won't say shit. But, are you ready to have sex? I'm glad it's with someone that you're dating, but.. you gotta be sure man."

"Ken," Rubbing his face in his hands, Clyde sighed loudly, his face hot with embarrassment from the way Kenny was talking to him like a father. He knew that he meant well, yet, that fact didn't make it less awkward. "You sound like a fucking dad right now."

Taking this opportunity to make a joke, Kenny smirked, mainly to himself. "Well, people do call me Daddy." Clyde didn't find it amusing though, staring back at Kenny with empty eyes until he stopped laughing, being the only person there to find his own jokes amusing. Clearing his throat, awkwardly, as an attempt to be serious again, which didn't feel like it was working, Kenny finished the point of the discussion: "Okay, I don't want to sound like a dad, but someone has got to make sure you're making good decisions."

Now getting a little annoyed with Kenny's approach, just as Kenny had predicted, Clyde stood up, facing Kenny with his arms crossed firmly over his chest, obviously about to have one of his freak outs. "I don't need your 'okay' for everything I do. I can handle things on my own, believe it or not."

Clyde turned on his heel as soon as he finished his sentence, losing the confidence he had to yell at Kenny in the first place as soon as the words started to fly from his mouth. He was just embarrassed by the fact that his virginity was such a huge topic in their friend group, and that he was the only one who hadn't lost it - as far as he knew, anyways. Kenny had been the first to lose his, followed by Stan and Kyle, and, because of this, Clyde felt inferior to him. There was no point in talking about it, if everyone had to go through it eventually, right? At least, that's how Clyde saw it.

Expecting things to go this way, Kenny didn't even bother saying anything to Clyde as he marched back into the school, leaving Kenny to stare down at his converse like they held the answer to every question he had. No matter how positive and relaxed Kenny tried to be on a daily basis, his anger and frustration always took over now; a burning feeling filling his hands as he thought about how he was always letting everyone down, and not living up to their depictions of him. Whenever Kenny could, he tried to be so many different people for everyone, but never took the time to be himself - of course he was fucking angry. Furious even. It made sense, right? Yet, he had chosen to be like this, since the beginning, even when he was a kid. It was his destiny. Or was it?

Usually, Kenny never smoked on school grounds, not wanting to give the Principal a reason to suspend him, but Kenny _needed_ a cigarette. Often, at times like this, cigarettes were the only thing that could calm Kenny down, and he saw it as pathetic, and gross; yet, for now, it worked. Besides, if he died from lung cancer, wouldn't he just come back? Kenny wasn't sure at all, though, since he only did things for other people, he felt as if his death would be meaningless in a sense. They would miss the things he did for them, but not exactly _him_. Kenny wasn't depressed, however, at that moment, he felt like his life was truly a waste of space, and he was there just to get in the way of everyone else.

Even though Kenny's thoughts were darker than they ever had been, as he took a drag of his cigarette, his eyes wandered to one of the windows on the second building to his right, Butters immediately catching his eyes. Butters was staring out at him, a blank look on his face as he grasped his backpack straps tightly like always, not seeming to notice that Kenny had caught him staring. To make it more noticeable, Kenny placed his cigarette between his lips, facing his entire body towards the windows where Butters was staring at him, a smirk causing the cigarette to dip down a little, ashes collecting on the knee of his jeans. As if he was electrocuted just from Kenny's eyes, Butters jumped in place, before turning the other way, disappearing from Kenny's sight completely. Although it was a kind of a funny sight, Kenny didn't think much of it at the moment, since there wasn't much to think about regarding it.

A thought occurred to Kenny after a few minutes though, that maybe, just maybe - Leo could help him change for the better. If he couldn't, Kenny knew he was a lost cause.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry if this story seems a bit boring at the moment, I plan for this being over 50 chapters so there has to be a lot of details :) (also, apologies for the huge gap between chapters, I've been too tired after work to write <3)

It was awhile before Kenny went to class. He didn't even leave the courtyard until the end of third hour, not even attempting to find any of his friends before he went to his fourth hour. At the moment, he just wanted time to reflect on the choices he had made as a person, and if they were right for himself - or anyone. It was probably a cliche, teenager thing for Kenny to sit under a tree by himself, and think about his feelings, at the same time, it was probably what he needed to do. Besides, personal improvement never caused anyone harm, so he was confident that his personal time would benefit the people around him. If anything, it would definitely make him more bearable to be around, relaxed and more like himself.

Whenever he began to try to move forward with himself, Kenny found himself falling back into wishing he was still the same dirty, funny kid he used to be. Kenny often wished he could find away to bring some of those aspects of his personality to light again, though, it was obvious to him lately, that those parts of himself had faded for a reason. It wasn't fair, and yet, it was something he could accept at this point, since he couldn't fight against the inevitable. Most of the terrible things that had happened in his life that had caused him to harden so much, weren't even his fault; Kenny's parents were selfish, and didn't care that their actions have consequences. He could give a shit about things, and not give a shit at the same time. If Kenny was _really_ being honest with himself, he never thought being a teenager would be some fucking difficult, but, then again, he wasn't a "normal" teenager.

To avoid anyone that could possibly talk to him, Kenny put his hood up for the first time since seventh grade, hiding his face as he always used to do. When Kenny was growing up, he always felt dirty and unattractive - mainly due to the fact that his family was poor, and he didn't have nice clothes like everyone else, so he lived to protect himself behind a hood. By the time he started to go through puberty though, Kenny just started to not give a shit and started to wear his hoodie down, which shocked the hell out of everyone, even his closest friends. All of the girls, and some of the guys, began to blatantly tell Kenny that he was hot, and even though he was still stared at for whatever "looks" he possessed, Kenny never agreed with any of them. To him, he was just some guy.

Since his hood was up for once, no one even noticed that he was Kenny as he walked to his fourth hour, his hands shoved deeply into his jean pockets as he kept his head facing the ground. Kenny was really reminding himself of Stan at the moment, alone and kind of depressed, shutting everyone out. Stan would have bursts of these depressive episodes, and would ignore everyone, but Kyle and Kenny, for days, or even weeks - he wouldn't say a lot to them though, only short words. Kenny was definitely feeling like that right now, though, he knew the way he was feeling right now, was vastly different to the constant depression that Stan battled. It couldn't be compared, still, he was starting to really understand how his best friend felt during those times.

Luckily, only Stan and Craig were in this hour with him, and they could always sense when he wanted to be left alone. They both had their struggles with inner demons, and could sniff out a disturbed person like a damn bloodhound. In fact, as soon as Kenny shuffled in through the door, their heads whipped towards him, knowing looks on their faces, their bodies tensing slightly when they noticed his defeated demeanor. Even though Kenny was late, the teacher didn't even bother looking up from her laptop, watching Game of Thrones as she always did. It was just an art class, so Kenny felt that even if they were at a normal school, the situation would still be the same, since art was an expressive subject, and should be a freeing activity. Kenny felt some separate stares, aside from Stan and Craig; he looked over his shoulder to see Henry, and a couple of his assholes friends wiggling their eyebrows at him, smirking and whispering things to each other. There was no context as to _why_ they were doing this, so Kenny just shrugged them off, finishing his walk to where Stan and Craig were waiting at their usual table.

With a thud, Kenny sat next to Craig, throwing a random notebook on the desk, one of the many he always had. He wasn't a talented artist like Stan, but Kenny kind of liked to write, and he often wrote random stories in his notebooks; none of them ever really made sense though, just random ideas of books that he may or may not write in the future. Kenny could still feel Stan and Craig's eyes on him as he opened to a random page, a little surprised to already see some writing there, since he couldn't really remember the last time that he wrote something, however, Kenny couldn't even pick up a pencil with the two pairs of eyes burning into the side of him. Finally, giving up, Kenny locked eyes with them, glaring as best as he could to get them to leave him the hell alone.

Of course, because Kenny wanted them to leave him alone so bad, Stan started to speak, doing the opposite of what he was told: "Dude, what's up with you?"

A ting of annoyance hit him, at the harshness of the question, even though Kenny knew Stan, of all people, had the right to know. Still, he wasn't about to talk about his feelings, especially with Craig there. "Nothing."

Stan scowled deeply, half at Craig, and half at himself. Kenny liked to act like nothing bothered him, almost never admitting when there was, in fact, something irking him. Usually, he would have the patience for Kenny to talk about it when he was ready, though, Stan didn't feel like waiting today, already fed up from how quickly he was going back and forth with his emotions. "Look, I know you hate it when I get pushy, but you're full of shit." Kenny whipped his head up at Stan, blindsided by the sternness in his best friend's voice; sure, Stan could be blunt, however, the cold tone surprised Kenny. "Was it your argument with Clyde? You know he's just embarrassed, he'll be fi-"

"No," Kenny cut his friend off, staring blankly at the paper in front of him. There was a few minutes of silence as Kenny tried to get the courage to tell them how he was really feeling for once. It wasn't coming though, for whatever reason, Kenny couldn't make the words come out of his mouth, as if someone had taken his tongue and thrown it into the ocean. "I-I.."

It was painful to watch Kenny struggle like this for Craig, not because he felt bad for him, but because it was so painfully _awkward_. Craig sighed, causing Kenny to look at him out of the corner of his eye, his odd stuttering coming to an abrupt halt. "Spit it out, douchebag."

A smirk threatening to tug its was onto Kenny's face, Craig's teasing words were like a smack in the face, waking him up - it also showed that he cared enough to push it out of him. Kenny sat up straight, regaining his thoughts completely. "Okay, dickweed, I'm just really in my thoughts today, if you want to know that bad." Stan smiled a little at their banter while Craig just leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, and ready to listen. I-I've, uh, been thinking about my place in people's lives, and if I'm even being a good friend, or person. So, um, yeah."

Only for Kenny, was it awkward for him to get out, while Stan felt differently, sympathy overwhelming his chest as he looked at the bags under his friends' eyes, noticing them for the first time. Without even knowing, his best friend had been feeling like shit right in front of him - and Kenny was the one that was thinking he was a bad friend? Even if that was true - which it wasn't - Stan couldn't help to wonder, exactly what kind of friend he was being. Focusing back on the more important matter, Stan shook his head at Kenny, elbowing Craig, who was just staring into space, probably tuning them out on purpose. "C'mon man, you're a great friend to all of us. You're my best friend, dude, you know that."

Even though Stan's words were comforting, Kenny still wasn't convinced that everyone else felt the same. As if sensing Kenny's doubt still, Stan elbowed Craig again, motioning for him to say something. Craig scowled a little at Stan, but a blank stare replaced it quickly as he turned towards Kenny, sighing heavily, hating the fact that Stan was right. "Everyone looks up to you," Kenny looked at him slightly, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Even though you're an asshole," Kenny looked fully at him now, Craig's eyes dragging down to the floor, an empty expression still on his face. "You're the strongest and most selfless person I know. You take care of everyone before yourself, which is kind of nice, I guess."

When Craig looked at Kenny again, he rolled his eyes at the huge smile plastered on his face, even the small gap between his two front teeth visible - which Craig always found kind of cute, and hot at the same time. For someone as soulless, and unfeeling, as Craig to say those things about him, Kenny felt a billion times better. And, he kind of wanted to kiss Craig, but he kept that feeling to himself, Stan smiling along with him now, too. As if to say, 'I told you so', Stan gave two thumbs up, continuing with encouragement. "We love you, man."

Kenny's smile pulled back a little, now only a soft smile playing on his lips. Still, despite Craig and Stan helping, he couldn't help to wonder if everyone felt the same. Sure, he and Craig had their fights and arguments, yet, they were closer than he was to Token, Cartman, or even Clyde, now. What if they didn't really give a shit about him? If Kenny was anyone else, they would be out of his life if they didn't care, but because Kenny was who he was, the thought of people he loved not caring about him, made his heart clench in pain. He felt fucking stupid that he even felt that way, since many people would call it "girly" feelings, though, Kenny just cared for people _that_ much. It was kind of becoming curse, a burden, perhaps.

Since Stan and Craig weren't morons, they could see that Kenny fell right back into his gloomy thoughts, but decided not to push it. If Kenny got mad, it would ruin their day, and they were trying to get excited about the party tomorrow, even though Clyde was pretty upset with Kenny at the moment, they knew it would probably be epic. Craig was more excited for smoking and just not being at home, while Stan was overly excited to drink, and not have to worry about his dad for a night. If someone asked any of the boys if they liked their parents, only Token would've said yes - all of the other parents were fucking crazy, and it had gotten even worse since South Park became a city. So, in a way, everyone was getting a vacation from their stress at home. When they had parties at other places, they almost never stayed the night, especially at Token's, since he didn't like when people stayed past one in the morning.

As for Kenny, he wasn't looking forward to the party, and kind of wanted to cancel due to his mood, though didn't, not wanting to be selfish. He had until tomorrow, so he was really hoping that he would be feeling better by then because Kenny did really like to party with his friends. As Kenny finally picked up his pencil to start writing some thoughts down, the bell rang, signaling the end of the hour. Kenny didn't even realize how much time had gone by from being so deep in his thoughts, yet, he wasn't exactly complaining, since he was that much closer to going home and relaxing, and even closer to trying to talk with Karen more. With Kevin not being there most of the time, Kenny knew that if anything were to happen to her, it would be his fault, and only his fault. He felt responsible for her anyways, so even if Kevin was there, Kenny felt like he still would be held responsible for her well being.

Suddenly, the wind was knocked out of Kenny, stopping his thoughts completely as his brain tried to comprehend the pain. _What the fuck?_ Kenny thought to himself in agony as he tried to force the pain to stop, squinting at the person responsible for the punch. As always, it was fucking Henry, standing there with a smug grin on his face like the punch somehow made his small dick, bigger. Kenny chuckled to himself at that thought, a little relieved that it wasn't anyone else that he has pissed off in the past. Unfortunately though, he wasn't alone, unlike Kenny, the racist skinheads from a few days ago next to him. Henry was Mexican, so Kenny was surprised that these racists were working with him. It crossed his mind though, that they may owe him a favor, since Henry had powerful connections, with all kinds of different people.

With the pain subsiding, Kenny stood up straight, looking at the four guys in front of him. Henry was a small guy, fit, but with a small frame, a few inches shorter than Kenny, so he was confident he could take him, however, the three racist guys were very big, and looked pretty strong. Kenny was known as a crazy fighter, not really reacting to pain, and being stronger than he looked, given that he was pretty skinny himself. There was no way in hell he could take down four guys though, even if he was a good fighter, and he was not about to pull a gun with a bunch of innocent people around, that would make the situation even worse. Looking around at everyone else, Kenny saw Craig and Stan running from down the hall, and he smirked, knowing it he would only have a minute to fight them on his own. Although, and he tried not to think about, he had seen Butters close by when he spotted Craig and Stan, and was a little worried what Butters would think of him after this, but he would have to worry about that later when he wasn't being threatened by these assholes.

Kenny chuckled, cracking his knuckles as a large grin made its way onto his face. God, he loved fighting. maybe a little too much. "I'm out of fucks to give." Kenny muttering to himself before, with as much force as he could give, Kenny swung a right hook at the leader of the neo-nazis, springing the others to start to punch at him too, only landing a few blows. People immediately started yelling around them, which kind of pumped Kenny up, a smile still on his face as his fists collided with Henry's chin, causing him to fall on his ass like a bowling pin. The other two neo-nazis grabbed Kenny back by the arms, prompting the leader start punching his stomach relentless, Kenny not being able to rip himself away from them.

 _Fuck, that kind of hurts._ Kenny thought to himself as another blow landed on his face, a tooth definitely flying out of his mouth, followed by blood pouring from his mouth, a numb pain spreading through his jaw. Just as Kenny was starting to worry, Stan tackled the neo-nazi leader, while Craig punched one of the guys holding Kenny's arm, releasing him as he fell. Kenny took this opportunity to knee the guy on his left, the big dude leaning over in pain, only to get another knee in the face. He was definitely out for good, so Kenny turned his attention to his friends, adrenaline pumping through him, oblivious to the pain his body was in. Stan was thrown on the ground by the leader hard, knocking the wind out of him, his body going limp as he passed out, Kenny's blood immediately running cold.

 _Oh, hell no._ Kenny growled at the asshole, slamming him against the locker, and began to beat his face, and stomach repeatedly, and uncontrollably. No one fucked with his friends, especially Stan. He was going bat-shit crazy on the guy, completely taken over by his anger, that Craig had to rip him away before it got too bad, Kenny hands soaked in so much blood, Craig couldn't tell whether it was Kenny's blood, or the other guy's. Barely realizing that they just got into an intense fight, Kenny smiled a toothy grin, wiping blood from his mouth as they attempted to pick Stan up from the ground. Everything had happened so fast, that the crowd hadn't even dispersed yet, still engulfed in the fight. It was like the crowd knew it wasn't over yet, and, sadly, they were right. Two of the neo-nazis stood up, both looking pretty beat up, but still wanting to go another round.

Still keeping the goofy grin on his face, only there from pure adrenaline, and panic over his friend's injuries, Kenny pushed back his hair from his forehead. "What the fuck is your problem, guys? I mean, I know you're just shitty people in general, but why suddenly throw punches, huh?"

Purposely, he was speaking to them like they were stupid, which, they really were. Even though that was true, they got even more angry than before, the leader's face becoming red with hate, and frustration, since he wasn't smart enough to have a come-back. "We're knocking you off your high-fucking-horse, Kenny McCormick." Kenny rolled his eyes at Craig, in which Craig just scowled back, obviously wanting to be done with this. "Don't you have a sister? Karen? I'd love to meet her." The bastard winked at Kenny, insinuating something disgusting.

The asshole may have been a creep, but he said that mainly to get a rise out of Kenny, at least, that's what Craig was hoping for. Trying to lunge at him, Kenny was held back by Craig in a second, which he could barely do since Kenny was so damn angry, though it was worth the struggle, since he knew Kenny's body couldn't take anymore. "Don't you fucking dare go near her." For some reason, he felt compelled to look towards the crowd, Kenny's eyes locking with Butters, who looked scared as hell. Kenny didn't know what he hated more at that moment, the asshole in front of him, or the fear that Butters had from just looking at him. Either way, Kenny softened, relaxing his body in Craig's grip. He didn't have to fight to win, but every time someone poked at him even a little, Kenny couldn't control his emotions, again. the same thing was being repeated for Kenny over, and over again - the common theme being, that he had some serious issues. After a moment of breathing deeply, Kenny stepped forward confidently, poking the leader's chest, speaking quietly enough for only him to hear. "If you mess with my friends again, or my sister, I will fucking kill you."

When Kenny made a threat like that, it was real. He had only ever made that threat to one other person, and now they were close friends, but, this time, he would follow up on it if he had to. Sensing how serious he was, the guy backed away, his injured douchebags following without a word, even Henry, who could barely walk. With the fight ending, the crowd dispersed finally, talking among themselves about the fight, as if it was the first fight of the week - actually, it had been the third fight of the day, if Kenny heard correctly. It didn't matter though, Kenny was feeling like he shouldn't have fought now, his fists bruised and bloody, clenched at his sides, numbly. The only thing that kept flashing through his mind was how terrified Butters looked. Maybe someone else might've thought it was because he was new and was witnessing an intense fight, but Kenny knew that Butters' feared him, and no one else.

"Ken?" Craig finally shook Kenny from his daze, an actual worried look on his face as he held a half-conscious Stan at his side. "We should go back to your place and take care of him."

"Yeah," Kenny muttered softly, looking shakily at his hands. "Uh, take him out front. I have to get Ky, then I'll meet you there."

Only nodding once, Craig started walking slowly with Stan down the hall towards the entrance of the school, trying his best to keep him held up. Now, left staring at his hands still, Kenny felt something he hadn't really felt in a long time: fear. He wasn't sure whether he was afraid of Stan's injuries, or himself; because of how reckless he had been, his best friend had been hurt really badly. Kenny had never put Stan in such a bad fight before, of course he didn't know it was going to be that bad, but he should be preventing his friends from fighting, no matter what. _Fuck.._ Kenny thought harshly, biting down on his bottom lip, drawing blood easier than normal, from a cut in his lip caused by the fight. He really wanted to just scream out of frustration, at the same time though, Kenny was tired of people being scared of him, and thinking he was a freak.

Remembering that he had to get Kyle, Kenny went to turn towards Kyle's class, that had started at the other end of the school when the fight started, and as he turned, Kenny almost ran into the last person he wanted to see right now. Butters was standing by the lockers where Kenny had seen him during the fight, nervously pressing his hands together, only looking at the ground. He didn't want to scare the small boy in front of him, so Kenny decided to just go around the boy, and leave him alone. It was obvious that there wasn't even hope that they could be friends, at the least, so what was the point in trying now? For whatever reason, that thought felt like a kick in the gut to Kenny.

"K-Kenny," Stopping dead in his tracks at the soft voice, Kenny's eyes went wide as he waited for Butters to say more, surprised that he had even spoke up in the first place. "A-Are you okay?"

Even though Kenny was happy that Butters decided to speak to him, he didn't smile. Instead, he decided to just tell the truth for once: "No."

Before Butters could say more, Kenny continued walking down the hall, pulling out his phone to text Kyle, not wanting Leo to feel sympathy for him now. Kenny didn't trust himself to be around anyone anymore, and as much as he wanted to talk with Butters, and get to know him, it was better that he didn't. Now, in Kenny's mind, he was nothing but a danger to the innocent boy. On top of that, Kenny was convinced that Kyle would never forgive him for putting his boyfriend in harms way, and he was prepared to lose everything because of that. Maybe, if they weren't friends with him anymore, they would be safer.

Leaning on the lockers across from Kyle's classroom door, Kenny stared at the door, trying to think of the perfect words to say. There was nothing that came to him though, not even a single letter that would make the panic, and pain, any easier. _This is all my fucking fault._ Kenny thought to himself as he held his head in his hands, tears threatening to well up in his eyes, though Kenny fought them, feeling as if he didn't deserve to cry. If Kyle saw him crying, he would think that Stan was dead or something, and Kenny didn't want to scare him more than he was already going to.

The classroom door opened quietly, and Kyle slipped out, his face white as ghost as he saw Kenny. He didn't waste time panicking though, leading Kenny to the entrance quickly. "What happened?"

Silent for a moment, Kenny wanted to dance around the truth because Stan would hate for Kenny to take the blame, even though he wanted to, but, he owed it to Stan and Kyle's relationship to tell the truth. "Henry and some other guys started a fight with me, and Stan and Craig came to help me. Stan got hurt really bad-"

"That moron," Kyle wiped away a few tears, chuckling a little, much to Kenny's surprise. His reaction was so sudden, that Kenny had to pause for a moment, to realize that Kyle wasn't mad at him. "He knows he sucks at fighting, but he still does it anyways."

Honestly, Kenny was expecting Kyle to be pissed as hell at him, yet, instead, he seemed to take it well. He didn't blame Kenny even a little, which was a relief, though, Kenny still felt guilty. Not even a book describing how it wasn't Kenny's fault could've convinced him that he wasn't guilty - his mind, he was guilty until the end of time. It was the same thing again, and again for him: Kenny felt like he was responsible for everyone in his life, and when anything even remotely bad happened to them, it was his fault. He may not have realized, but Kenny thought like this because his parents were always blaming him for every little horrible thing they did, especially when it involved Kevin and Karen.

Kyle started to walk a little faster as he saw Craig through the doors, snapping Kenny from his dark thoughts. Terrible thoughts were becoming a daily occurrence for Kenny now, and it was starting to scare the shit out of him, since this wasn't normal until a few weeks ago. Kenny pressed on though, following behind Kyle as he burst through the doors, immediately taking Stan into his arms. Fortunately, Stan was kind of standing on his own now, and was able to hold Kyle back, smiling to himself as he buried his face in his boyfriend's neck, pacing small kisses wherever he could. Kenny smiled a little seeing them reunite like that, their love so visible and beautiful - it was a type of love that everyone wanted. The small happiness didn't last long though as Kyle started to lecture Stan, starting to walk down the sidewalk towards Kenny's house. Stan didn't seem to mind the lecturing though, only humming answers, or saying 'you're right, baby', but that might've been the concussion.

Craig walked silently next to Kenny, knowing that he was blaming himself, again. Craig felt like he shouldn't care, yet, he did, and it was overly confusing. Everyone got sad, and mad, or frustrated, or whatever the fuck Kenny was feeling, so Craig didn't understand why it was such a huge deal that Kenny was actually feeling normal emotions, and that he himself was worried about it. Even those were Craig's thoughts, he still could feel that he cared, a lot. Maybe, because it was rare for Kenny to show such intense, and negative emotions, it was a big deal; up until very recently, Kenny kept the mood of the group up, and created new ways to have fun, though, now, Craig was starting to see how much of that had changed. Craig didn't like that Kenny had such a personality flip, with seemingly no cause, but it was only because it directly affected him. That was the only reason.

After what felt like forever to everyone, except Stan, they finally got to Kenny's house. As soon as they were in the door, Stan made his way to the couch and threw himself down, obviously just wanting to sleep off whatever pain he was in. Kyle ran over though, shaking him awake as soon as his eyes were closed, not wanting him to die in his sleep. Kenny sat on the couch across from Stan and Kyle, Craig walking into the kitchen like he owned the place, rummaging through the cupboards to avoid sitting next to Kenny at the moment.

"Ky, why do you keep waking me up? I'm tired.." Stan murmured sleepily, lacing his fingers sweetly with Kyle's.

Kyle smiled at their hands, but shook Stan awake again, starting to feel a little bad that he had to do this. "Dumbass, you might have a concussion. I need to keep you awake."

Smirking mostly to himself, Stan wiggled his eyebrows at Kyle, his eyes extremely dilated. "I know a way you can keep me up."

Avoiding Kenny's giggles, Kyle turned red, punching Stan in the arm, hard enough for Stan to gasp dramatically. "Kenny is _right_ there."

To give them space anyways so that Stan could get better peacefully, Kenny stood up without a word, and went out the back door. As soon as he heard the door slam behind him, letting him know that he was safe to freak out like he had wanted to since the fight ended, Kenny raked his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends as he sat down on the first step of the porch, cursing quietly at himself. After a moment of cursing himself to death, also wishing to have another death experience, Kenny took his cigarette pack out from his jacket pocket, lighting one as soon as it pressed to his lips. The shaking that had plagued his hands up until that moment finally stopped, the nicotine calming his anxiety, and frustration, as it always did. The only thing missing in that moment though, was someone to be with him, and maybe even listen to the way he was feeling. Was it weird for him to wish for that? Kenny was really starting to think so, especially since earlier, when he got the opportunity to talk about what was bothering him, he refused to speak.

There were only a handful of people that could read Kenny's emotions, and one of them happened to be Craig. He was watching Kenny from the kitchen window, knowing that he wanted someone to be with him, but he stayed where he was, starting to feel overly involved. Craig was starting to wonder why Kenny needed so much reassurance lately, it wasn't like him to need confirmation from anyone, yet, over the past few weeks, he was basically begging for validation, from anyone. Although no one else had said anything, Craig knew that everyone was feeling the same, though, he liked the idea of being the one to say something. If Kenny was going to listen to anyone that had the guts to stand up to him, it was definitely Craig. So, with Kyle talking to Stan in the living room, Craig decided that it was better to say something now, rather than later.

Since he just walked out in front of Kyle without a word, when the door opened, Kenny expected it to be Kyle, coming to bombard him with questions about the fight. Of course, most of the time when he sat out here, Craig came out too, never giving a reason for why he was out there in the first place, besides to smoke a cigarette. Honestly, in that moment, Kenny really would've _preferred_ Kyle, since he had a hard time showing any emotion to Craig. See, with Craig, everything was tricky - if he showed too much emotion, Craig would be an asshole, but if he showed no emotion, Craig would a douchebag; either way, Kenny always felt stuck, and totally out of control when it came to him. Secretly, Kenny just wanted to impress Craig, and maybe even give him a reason to stick around.

Craig kind of felt the same way though, never wanting Kenny to know really anything about his thoughts, or feelings. In fact, Craig was still annoyed from earlier when he had to compliment Kenny even a little, he could barely imagine what would happen if they _really_ shared their feelings to each other. However, because he did care for Kenny, Craig sat next to him, probably closer than normal, and sighed weirdly, a ping of anxiety hitting him that usually hid deep inside his almost non-existent soul. "You gotta quit this shit, dude."

Having known Craig since he was a kid, Kenny didn't expect him to not be so blunt about it. Even if he expected Craig's bluntness, he didn't expect his choice of words, the words themselves being soft for Craig. Kenny leaned against his house, facing Craig completely with a deep frown stapled onto his face, not understanding what he meant this time. "What shit?"

Shrugging as if he didn't know, because Craig liked the element of mystery, he glanced at Kenny, ignoring the tightening in his stomach. "Your mopey shit. Stan's fine, it wasn't your fault, so stop feeling guilty about it." Kenny went to intervene, Craig beating him to it, holding up a hand, to cut him off. "I don't know what hell is up with you lately, dude, but you're not acting like yourself."

Obviously, Kenny had been aware of this for quite sometime, but the fact that someone else noticed made him scowl even deeper than before. In all honesty, Kenny thought he was pretty good at keeping secrets. He was definitely wrong. "Dude, I really don't know what my problem is." That was only kind of true. Kenny knew what was bothering him, though he couldn't pinpoint exactly _what_ was wrong. "I've just been super angry lately, and then I blame myself for everything. I-I don't even know, it's stupid."

There was very awkward silence as Kenny only looked down at his hands, and Craig stared up at the sky. They were both terrible at advice, and even though Kenny wasn't really looking for advice, Craig did try to find some, unfortunately, coming up short. The only thing he felt was right, was to awkwardly pat Kenny's knee, but as he did that, he cringed, realizing how much worse it made everything, snatching his hand away quickly.

As awkward as it was, Kenny started to crack up with laughter, the tension disappearing as his laugh started to ring through the yard. "D-Did you just pat my knee?" Despite the annoying teasing about it, Craig smiled a little, rolling his eyes as Kenny continued laughing. "I mean give yourself some credit, you did make me feel a little better."

"Fuck off, McCormick." For whatever reason, Craig's face began to heat up a little, and he realized how close they were sitting together for the first time. He hated when they were alone, he couldn't ignore the want for Kenny, like he could any other time. He knew they didn't share feelings, just some sort of.. lust? Maybe it was just teenage angst? Craig rolled his eyes at that though, feeling Kenny's piercing, blue eyes on him. It was almost an invasion of thoughts, the way Kenny was staring at him, a look of what almost symbolized hunger shadowed in his eyes, that stupid smirk still playing on his beat up lips. God, Craig hated how close he was to kissing him right now.

It was suddenly really hot in the backyard, not because it was warm out, in fact, it was only February, and the snow was still constant, but from the sudden shared want between the two. Kenny knew exactly how to play anyone though, somehow knowing exactly what got every person he wanted, 'going' - to say the least. As Craig started to get annoyed with Kenny's persistent staring, he was playing into Kenny's hands as he whipped his head over to the piercing blue eyes, feeling the want to punch that smug fucking look off his face.

"If you don't stop fucking staring at me, I'll beat your fucking ass." Craig growled, the anger, and possibly frustration, now apparent on his face, no longer hiding behind an unfeeling mask. Kenny only smirked wider at the words though, obviously thinking dirty thoughts as his teeth grazed his bottom lip, his eyes falling to Craig's lips, the thought of him hungrily kissing them, flooded into his mind. Actually, Craig had pretty average lips, not small, but not full - yet, Kenny found them enticing, from the words, and attitude, that often fell from them. Kenny had always liked people who sassed him back, it was hot, in a weird way.

Just as Craig was sure that Kenny was leaning into possibly kiss him, the back door slammed open, Clyde marching out between them like they hadn't been in a composing position. He sat down with a heavy thump, breathing heavily; he wasn't breathing as if he had just been running, but like he was struggling to control his anger, or frustration, or whatever the hell was wrong with Clyde _this_ time. Kenny didn't have the patience to let him speak up first though, more than a little annoyed that he interrupted him and Craig, when he was going to offer up a deal he had been thinking about for awhile. That would have to wait until they were alone, again, which, could be a pretty difficult accomplishment for the rest of the day.

"Clyde," Kenny started softly, remembering that he had gotten angry with him earlier. He had wanted to talk to Clyde and help him, however, when he had tried before, he had just made everything worse. "What's up?"

Now noticing how close Kenny and Craig were on the porch before he sat between them, Clyde smirked a little motioning between them, forgetting the reason he left school to go to Kenny's. "So, what was going on out here?"

Kenny stared back at him, only giving him a blank stare that said, 'fuck off' harder than a middle finger ever could. "Nothing. Stop avoiding your reason for leaving school."

Not wanting to piss Kenny, or Craig off, Clyde swallowed loudly, nodding once. It took him a moment to continue, trying to remember exactly what he needed to say. It wasn't like he didn't know, though, it really didn't help that he was of course baked out of his mind right now, and it caused to have to think harder than he normally would've. "Well, Kyle texted everyone and said what happened, but I didn't leave school because of that." Kenny was intrigued now, raising an eyebrow as he waited for Clyde to continue. "I heard those three big guys, that you fought with, talking to Henry, and they said something about the Irish Mob?"

Craig and Kenny shared a look of horror, a thousand questions swarming Kenny's mind. He hid his panic from Clyde though, trying to look as casual as he possibly could. "Oh, weird. What did they say?"

Of course, Clyde didn't notice, shrugging with his eyebrows scrunched together as if he wasn't sure if the next thing he had heard was right. "They said.. they want to kill you, Kenny."

This was a bit of relief to Kenny. They had only mentioned killing him, not Karen, not Kevin, and not any of his friends. Although, he was slightly worried that if he were to be killed, he either wouldn't come back, or the Mob would have no memory of it, like all of his friends, and keep killing him over, and over again; but since Kenny hadn't died in a couple months, he was more afraid of dying for real this time. Sure, it wouldn't have made sense if died for all those years, and then randomly died for real, at the same time, why couldn't it be possible? If it was possible for him to die thousands of times, why wouldn't it be possible to eventually stay dead? He knew that he could really only be killed by an immortal, but what about the time he died from that random ass disease, and stayed dead for awhile? Kenny never figured out why that time had been different, however, it was possible for it to happen again. Another thing that Kenny had almost missed, was the fact that the neo-nazis, and Henry were involved, or connected, with the Irish Mob in the some way, and that thought, made him the most nervous. They didn't hesitate to beat the shit out of his friends, so would they hesitate to kill them? Kenny didn't think so.

After thinking for what felt like an eternity to Craig and Clyde, Kenny looked at them, a faltering smile on his face. "Okay. I'll handle it."

For whatever reason, a reason that Craig couldn't exactly pinpoint, he got fucking furious. He wanted to knock Kenny's damn teeth out from how reckless he was being with his own life, especially when he knew that there were other people who cared so much for him. Angry as hell, Craig stood up suddenly, slamming the door as hard as he could as he went inside, walking past a confused Stan and Kyle in the living room, and leaving out the front door. Kenny stared after him, totally blindsided with confusion as to why Craig reacted like that to his words. He couldn't figure out if he was pissed at Kenny for what he decided, or for the casual way he said it.

Clyde felt awkward as Kenny was obviously upset by Craig's exit, so he tried to think of something to distract Kenny, nearly coming up short until he remembered how he had yelled at Kenny earlier. "Hey Ken," Clyde said gently, not wanting to snap Kenny out of his trance too hard, and, on top of that, he did feel guilty about earlier. "I'm sorry about earlier. I'm just embarrassed.."

Relaxing a little at the mention of this, Kenny smiled softly at his friend, pushing his problem with Craig on the back burner. At first, when Clyde had gotten here, Kenny kind of assumed it was about earlier - though, he may have forgotten about that for a few minutes, since he was pretty baked. "It's okay. I'm sorry for embarrassing you, I really didn't mean to."

"Dude, it's totally fine." Clyde smile a toothy grin, giving a thumbs like everything was so perfect in the world, and to Clyde, they basically were. "Let's go in, and check on Stan."

Agreeing, Kenny only nodded his head, both of the boys standing up to go inside. Clyde went inside without even noticing that Kenny was walking in the opposite direction, to the center of his yard. He stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring up at the cloudy sky, not thinking of a single thing as a cool breeze tussled his hair, back down his neck. His thoughts suddenly traveled to Craig again, replaying the memory of him getting pissed, and leaving with even saying anything. Kenny had never actually seen him _that_ pissed before, and he couldn't help but to wonder, why he even cared. Kenny glanced up towards Craig's bedroom window, seeing the curtains close suddenly, as if Craig had just been staring at him; even if Craig was pissed, the possibility that he had been watching him, made Kenny smirk, a devious plan forming in his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: kenny dies/comes back (gun violence/bleeding to death)

Unusually, everyone left Kenny's Thursday night, instead of trying to spend the night, after Stan recovered from his injuries. Much to Kenny's surprise, and relief, no one blamed him for the shitty turn of events - that only he thought was caused by him - all of them agreeing that Stan was just a terrible fighter, and should've known better to just jump in. Although, it may have been a little true, Kenny didn't want Stan to feel like shit over it, yet, he was the one cracking the most jokes. Craig never came back over after he randomly stormed off though, even after Tweek showed up, wondering where Craig was, himself. Everything was so confusing for Kenny at this point, and he was a little convinced that he may not know his friends as well as he should, which made him feel like a bad friend, and, of course, spiraled him deeper into bad thoughts. Things were just getting ridiculous for Kenny mentally, and for once, he was comforted by the feeling of being alone.

Before he could truly enjoy some time to himself, Kenny knew that he should talk to Karen about why she had been in such a bad mood, and why she had been late to school. Granted, she was only late by a few minutes, however, Karen had never been late to anything in her entire life, since she admire punctuality. Taking a deep breath as he looked up towards her room, Kenny tried to figure out exactly how to approach her, without possibly setting her off again. It was kind of weird, how Kenny was tiptoeing around her emotional sensitivity, when other people did that for him regularly: _Am I really that much of a pain the ass?_ Kenny wondered to himself as he saw the parallels of the situation. The current issue was more important though, Kenny now standing in front of her door nervously, his fist knocking on the brittle wood before his brain was even ready for this.

It was only about thirty seconds before Karen opened the door, though, much to Kenny's surprise, she wasn't in pajamas, but dressed to go somewhere. Obviously, being her older, protective brother, Kenny's mind immediately jumped to the possibility of a boy in her life. "Uh, Kar, where are you going?"

Grabbing her sleepover bag from the floor, Karen barely looked at her brother as she gave a brief explanation: "I'm going to the Tucker's for tonight. Don't worry, her parents aren't home."

He was relieved, in the least, that she would be close, and be with someone that he knew. What Kenny didn't like, though, was the fact that she didn't let him know ahead of time - that was really strange of her to do, totally out of the ordinary. Instead of addressing that fact though, since he was more concerned with their relationship, Kenny only nodded, rubbing and squeezing his left arm, like it would erase the feelings of abandonment. "Did I.. Did I do something?"

For the first time since she had been home all night, Karen snapped her head up, staring her brother in the eyes, only seeing pure pain. Her stomach sank at this sight, and she dropped her bag in a second, wrapping her arms around Kenny's neck, tears welling up uncontrollably, threatening to spill over. "Ken, no!" Aware of how weird she had been acting, Karen felt guilty for making her brother worry so much, and the last thing she wanted him to think, was that she was angry with him. She released him gently, wiping away a stray tear, she didn't even know fell. "I'm going through dumb and weird teenage stuff, that's it. I'll talk to you about it when I'm ready, I promise."

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, that Karen was just dealing with something normal, Kenny smiled now, leaning on the door frame while running a hand through his messy hair. "Jesus, I'm just glad you're okay." She smiled at this, picking her bag off of the floor now. "I was worried, punk, but take all the time you need."

"Thanks, Ken." She walked past him now, probably eager to hang out with her best friend, but stopped at the top of the stairs, turning to say something more, that she felt like Kenny needed to hear. "I'll be back in the morning, and then I'm staying with Tricia while you have your party. I love you, big brother."

Although, Kenny wasn't sure how she knew about his party, he nodded, saying that he loved her too, as he watched her leave. Kenny was grateful that Karen was just a normal girl, and that she wasn't suffering from anything, as Kenny was. Even if she was going through something, she was able to keep enough of a level-head about it, to know that she needed to reassure the people around her that she could make it through it - Karen was getting more intelligent by the minute, so it seemed, and Kenny was proud of her, actually, he was beyond proud. Maybe, just maybe, if he wasn't around, she would be okay.

Now, that Kenny was finally alone, he was feeling risky, and reassured from his talk with Karen. Kenny had thought of what he wanted to do earlier, when Clyde mentioned the Irish Mob, however, he honestly didn't think he would've gotten the chance to be alone today; so, now, he could go through with his plan to find out if he could still come back from death. Karen was safe with Tricia and Craig, and the neighborhood was pretty quiet, which was a bit unusual nowadays, especially since Kenny and his friends were always up to random shit - though, none of them were around tonight, so it made sense. For some reason, he felt like he was doing something really bad as he crept down the steps towards the front door, cringing when there was the tiniest noise like his parents would come beat his ass any second, even though he had the house to himself and his parents were in fucking prison. Kenny hadn't felt like his parents were there in what felt like forever, yet, right now, Kenny felt like a kid again, sneaking out as Mysterion to "protect" the town. Maybe it was the fact that he was alone, that Kenny was feeling like this; he had barely been alone for an entire night, since his parents went to prison. His friends were there for him mostly every second, and they definitely deserved breaks for putting up with all of his garbage. It was good to be alone, though terrifying at the same time.

Once he closed the front door silently behind him, locking everything as securely as possible with the key around his neck, Kenny looked out towards his street, scowling at how empty it was. It seemed like no one was home, every single light off in every house, driveways empty, and no one walking on the sidewalks. There were some lots in his neighborhood that were empty, houses once being there, being obliterated due to the state it had been left in, by owners unable to take care of their house. For whatever reason, even though those lots had been empty for years now, Kenny was creeped out by the empty, the area almost looking like a black hole into all of the misery South park brought. On top of all the weird feelings Kenny was experiencing, the air around him was deadly still, not a single hint of the air moving around like there usually was, which brought unpleasant shivers to his spine. There was a break in the silence, as sirens started to ring out from somewhere a couple miles away, which meant that someone, somewhere, in South Park was dead, or dying - that was the only time that the cops ever turned on their sirens now. Kenny continued on down the sidewalk though, not even glancing in the direction of Craig's place (as much as he wanted to), as he thought about where, and how, exactly he could die tonight. The thought would've seemed intensely dark to anyone else, but to Kenny, because he had experienced death countless times, he welcomed death casually, and sometimes, like an old friend.

Reaching into his jacket pocket for the pack of cigarettes he had been thinking about all night, Kenny slid one between his lips, flicking his lighter at the end, until the butt was burning slowly, the smoke traveling soothingly through his lungs, gently pouring from his relaxed mouth as he exhaled; a sort of sick smile ripped onto Kenny's face as he approached the main road, and spotted a gang of guys walking in his direction, a little oblivious to the fact there was a teenage boy out this late, and looking for trouble. Before he could even try to interact with them though, to get shot, or accidentally make friends, they turned down a street that Kenny was familiar with, not giving him a moment of attention. It was a little disappointing, however, Kenny knew that there would be more shit for him to do now, that he didn't die so early into the night. Kenny chuckled to himself as he realized how his life was almost like a damn video game, except he didn't know how to win, and didn't even know if he _could_ lose.

Downtown South Park was vastly different from how it used to look when Kenny was a kid, and, sometimes, when he walked down the main road, he could still pictured what the old town used to look like. It was a lot quieter than usual, even in the main part of the city, which, sadly, this meant that some bad shit had gone down; Kenny wasn't sure if something had gone down with some gangs or something, but there was a weird feeling in the air, and Kenny really didn't like it. Throwing his now burnt out cigarette on the ground, Kenny quickly lit another one, spotting something a little disturbing about a block away. There was a large amount of what Kenny assumed was blood, and there were two guys talking over the spill, pointing at things every once and awhile, oblivious to the approaching person, their backs still facing him. What was really disappointing for Kenny, was that these two guys were actually familiar, Kenny only taking a minute more to recognize them as being part of the Irish Mob, and nearly ran the other way just at the realization of that, but, stopping himself, Kenny saw that either, they would kill him and then leave town, or they would be able to reach a sort of agreement.

"Hey," Kenny spoke out loudly from about thirty feet away, guns being pointed at him as soon as the single word left his lips, Kenny being a little impressed by their reaction time. He stuck his hands up casually, a smirk on his lips as he studied the guns, and the tall men in front of him, who had obviously spent years doing this shit. Their hands were steady, their faces completely void of any emotion, a practice that Craig didn't even size up to. Pointing to himself slowly, in case they didn't remember who he was, he introduce himself: "Kenny McCormick. What's up?"

The two guys looked at each other, their guns still pointed at him, their look holding an aura of heavy communication. Of course, they knew who he was, however, they were very confused by the casual way that Kenny approached them, since he was just some kid, and he was aware of their intent to kill him. Kenny was right though, unfortunately, they had spent enough time with the Mob to know how to react in a situation like this, being smart enough to know he wanted a negotiation. The taller one, a tired, skinny guy with black, lifeless eyes, and red hair, lowered his gun, crossing his arms over his chest, confident that he was a faster draw that some kid. "McCormick. You know we have orders to kill you, so, why are you here?"

Ignoring the stares of the two men, Kenny motioned to the large amount of blood on the sidewalk. "I happened to be in the neighborhood, saw a bunch of blood, and then you two. Are you guys responsible for this?" The other one went to answer, Kenny holding up a hand, deciding he didn't want to know more than he needed to. "Actually, don't answer that, I can guess the answer." Kenny noticed the lack of bullet shells, which the gangs in the city wouldn't have bothered to even pick up, since they all knew that the cops never did investigating. This was professional, hit men work. "I'm here to talk, and get answers."

The younger, bigger guy with the gun out still, huffed, obviously impatient. He had a large scar on his cheek, which, at first glance, would've made him seem like a frightening guy, but Kenny saw past that, seeing that the guy was probably a nice person, and just chose a terrible thing to do for a living. The guy with the scar sighed, lowering his gun to his side, wanting to allow the kid to get answers. "Then talk."

Appreciating the fact that they were even letting him talk, Kenny nodded once, before continuing his plan, while also getting answers. "Why do you want me dead? I know my parents fucked you over, but why not just kill them in prison? I'm just some kid, who doesn't give a shit about the illegal things you do."

The skinny guy shrugged, his hands now in his suit pockets casually. "Orders from our boss. We weren't told anything else, other than a reminder that if we don't do this, our families are on the line. As soon as you're dead though, we move onto the next place he wants us to be."

Unfortunately, the answers were vague, and kind of depressing, but Kenny knew that this was all he was going to get for now. Maybe, if he survived, he would be able to dig deeper, he had to die tonight, though. "Okay, just kill me, and then leave."

Obviously, it was shocking that someone was asking to be killed, yet, the skinny guy didn't question it for more than thirty seconds, raising his gun from his holster, aiming it at Kenny's heart, and firing, the shot piercing his heart. Kenny fell to the ground in pain immediately, his heart fighting viciously to live, though, the blood spilling from the small wound was dragging Kenny's life away, as he gasped for air, his mind barely being able to comprehend what was happening. As much as it hurt to get shot, Kenny was relieved he was dying so quickly. As his soul began to leave his lifeless body, floating towards the unknown, Kenny felt a push, that felt someone had physically pushed down on his chest, over his wound, his spirit forced back into his meat suit. Kenny sat up, gasping with life in the same spot he had just died, only about a minute ago. Of course, things had changed a little since he was a kid, and now instead of his mother re-birthing him, or him just waking up in his bed, Kenny would now die, and then wake up in the exact spot he died - with no evidence. Kenny kind of liked this better, however, possibly more frustrating, was that still no one ever saw him die, or recover from death.

The mob guys had left as soon as they shot him, and Kenny was glad for that, since he probably would've had to die over and over again, stuck in a loop because the mob wanted him dead that bad. Apparently. Stretching, as if he had only been sleeping, Kenny rubbed the spot he had just been shot, finding no wound, or even a scar, like it had never happened. At least, Kenny knew that he could still die and come back, but the problem still remained, if the mob would remember that they had killed him. For now though, he could go home, and act like nothing happened, with another experience added to his memory. He was so dangerously casual about the situation at this point, dying was like taking a nap for Kenny, something to refresh his mind, and body.

Sighing in a sort of boredom, Kenny went back towards his house, the entire city still remaining strangely dark, and quiet. The only difference, in that moment, was the immortal boy walking down the sidewalk, a smug, tired grin cutting into his face, once again, as he took a blunt to lips, all of the things bothering him before, disappearing; Kenny had decided, somewhere deep within his subconsciousness, to just stop giving a fuck about anything. Of course, that didn't include his friends, or his siblings, however, sick of obsessing over every little thing he did, Kenny wanted to stop caring about what people thought of him, or how he was going to impress someone - from now on, Kenny McCormick was going to take after Craig Tucker, and not give a single shit about anything. Maybe, Kenny wouldn't be able to pull it off as flawlessly as Craig, though, it was a shot in the dark, to Kenny. In reality, Kenny was just trying to avoid himself, craving to be anyone else, but who he truly was.

Being lost in his thoughts, and smoke, once again, Kenny failed to notice the bright light of the full moon, and how beautiful it was against the clear sky. What he did notice though, was Craig, glaring down from his bedroom window, only anger apparent on his face as he stared down at Kenny. Craig never showed this amount of emotion, so Kenny really didn't know how to react, only staring back up at him with no response. Since taking on the want to not give a shit anymore, Kenny only shrugged, before continuing to walk inside his house, throwing the roach that had been smashed between his fingers the last few moments, onto the ground, not giving it another glance as he threw his coat on the couch. Being a teenager who was going through a shitty, and confusing, time, Kenny usually craved as much sleep as he possibly could get, though, tonight, the simple thought of sleep made Kenny want to dramatically throw his head against the hardwood floor until he died; instead of being responsible, and making himself go to bed, Kenny started a large pot of coffee, and turned on the TV, putting on some random cartoon about four asshole best friends.

Since Kenny let himself relax on his couch while waiting for coffee, despite not feeling tired, he accidentally drifted into sleep - so, Kenny was surprised when he was awoken by his alarm going off in his jean's pocket. He really didn't remember falling asleep at all, which was becoming normal for Kenny, however, was kind of glad he did, since today was the day of the party, and he needed all the energy he could get. Before Kenny could really comprehend the fact that it was morning, Kenny's head flipped to the stairs where Karen was running down, an odd twisted expression settled on her face as she realized that Kenny was on the couch, not realizing earlier, when she had come from Tricia's. Actually, for just a small second, Kenny saw a resemblance between Karen, and his mother, but it was gone quickly, replaced by a smile that his mother never showed, and that Karen showed quite often. In general, Karen was a rather happy person, though, this morning, as she bounced around the kitchen humming to herself, Kenny felt as if she was too happy, like she was happy to see someone, and Kenny really didn't like the thought of some douchebag, fourteen year old boy flirting with his little sister. Last night he had also feared that, the rest of their conversation making him forget about it, until now. It may have sounded overprotective to some, as her older brother though, and being a boy, knew the dirty things that boys that age were thinking.

Finally though, after staring after his sister with worry for well over a normal amount of time, Kenny spoke up: "Hey, Kar?"

Now, making scrambled eggs in the kitchen, Karen innocently looked towards her brother, that same wide smile on her face. "Yeah, Ken?"

Kenny scowled to himself for a moment, wondering if it was even appropriate to ask her what he wanted to ask her. He had promised all the boys though, and tonight was going to be a big night for Clyde - Kenny knew he had to help his friend out, and that there was no way to get out of it. So, even though it was a bit painful, and a little awkward, Kenny continued with his question: "Are you okay staying with Tricia tonight? I can cancel."

There was an unsure pause in everything in the house, it even seemed like the TV paused, but Karen only giggled after a moment, waving off Kenny's tense posture. "Yeah! I know you, and Craig, and all those guys like partying. I'll be fine - don't worry about me."

Although Kenny had some doubts, he stood up from the couch anyways, approaching his sister carefully. As a young teenage girl, he knew that she may be susceptible to getting annoyed and irritated easily, and didn't want to set her off, yet, felt like she should know everything. "Honestly, Kar, I think you're old enough to know all the shit my friends, and I get into." Karen only stared at her eggs, as Kenny leaned on the counter next to her. "I promise we'll be safe, and we won't blow up the neighborhood."

Referencing the first time Kenny had a party at their house, made Karen break out in a small fit of laughter, remembering how embarrassed he had been when the police actually showed up. It was back when he was about Karen's age, and their parents had just went to jail, that Kenny had decided to throw some lame party, in which, the cops were called (probably for the last time in the neighborhood), and Kenny was nearly arrested. The only reason - as Kenny says - that he was embarrassed, was because police had wasted their time on such a casual party, that just happened to set off some fireworks, but Karen only remembered how hilarious her older brother had looked on that night, being scolded by the type of people they didn't even respect. It was a good memory for them both, even if it had put a target on Kenny's head for a short while; it was probably the last time they felt safe in their neighborhood.

"I know, Ken." Karen paused, smirking at her older brother as she remembered Tricia telling her the night before that Craig was angry with Kenny, recalling how, during the party, they were closer than they were now. Being related to _the_ Kenneth McCormick though, Karen sensed that there was something between her best friend's brother, and her brother, and she couldn't help to hope for a relationship, or, at least, a hook up. That may have seemed weird for her to hope that, yet, she thought that it just made sense. "So.." She started casually, knowing how weird Kenny would get about this type of stuff, though, she was desperate to update Tricia. "What's up with you and Craig?"

A little taken back from the question, Kenny stood up straight, heading to the coffee pot, trying to act as normal as possible. He wasn't really sure why he was being weird about it so quickly, maybe it was the fact that he had been thinking about Craig last night, or maybe it was that his sister had noticed what was, possibly, going on. "What do you mean?"

The question was casual enough, but Karen knew her brother better than that. He was obviously trying to avoid something that she would notice, Karen sure as hell wasn't going to let it go that easily though, committed to being in Kenny's business, even if it hurt her social life. So, she shipped her brother with Craig, what was so wrong with that? "You know, Ken, Tricia told me Craig came home all pissed off yesterday, ranting angry garbage about you." Kenny froze at the coffee pot, only half of his coffee poured at this point, shock stopping him from finishing, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Are you guys, like, fucking or..?"

Kenny whipped around immediately, his face white as a sheet, his eyes looking anywhere except Karen; they weren't having sex, however, he wanted to, and Kenny knew that she would be able to read that off of him, easily. "No. W-Why would you even ask that?" Although Kenny was telling the truth, he felt guilty for not telling his sister his exact feelings, at this point, Kenny had a feeling that she knew. He really didn't want her to know though.

Shrugging as if it wasn't a weird conversation, Karen finished her eggs, turning towards her brother again, smirking at his uncomfortable position. "If you wanna hook up with him, go for it, you know I don't care, bro." Kenny rubbed his temples in a mix of embarrassment, and frustration, only nodding in response. "While we're on this topic though," Karen continued, despite Kenny wanting her to shut the hell up, for once. These were things he never thought he would ever say to his younger sister. "What's your sexuality?"

Fortunately, for Kenny, he had learned exactly how to determine his preferences at an early age, so he had no hesitation while answering this question, relaxing a little bit. "Pansexual." Karen looked a little confused, obviously not aware of the identification. He didn't blame her, since she was rather young, and just found out the differences between bisexual, and gay. "It means gender doesn't matter to me - whoever I'm attracted to, it's because of who they are, not because of their gender."

Before Karen could even answer, ecstatic over her brother being so open, the front door opened, the sound of shoes being thrown off to the side ringing through the entire house like a bell in a school. Kenny looked at Karen only for the moment, a wide smile splitting her face as the person approached, causing the usually composed Kenny to freeze in his spot. Even if he wasn't facing the direction of the person that had entered without knocking, Kenny knew who it was, just by the simple presence of them. Still though, Kenny turned around, a little surprised that Craig was really standing there, willing to face him after leaving unannounced, and glaring at him basically all night. Before Kenny could even ask Karen to leave, she was sprinting out the door, throwing a wink at Kenny, as Tricia pulled her to wherever the hell they were going before the bus picked them up for school. After talking to Karen a little, Kenny knew that Tricia and Karen were shipping him and Craig together; in reality though, they really didn't have feelings for each other - it was really only sexual, he didn't have the heart to tell her that much of the truth, though. Craig had told Kenny years ago, that he had always loved Tweek, and Kenny knew those feelings were still as strong as they were all those years ago, and he truly admired, and respected, that. Until recently, Kenny could've honestly said that he never really had feelings for anyone, but after meeting Butters, Kenny was starting to rethink that, feeling something he never had before. When it came to Craig though, Kenny felt like he _needed_ to have a little while of him; honestly, if this was a different universe where Leo and Tweek didn't exist, Kenny knew that they would date. That would be a disaster.

While Kenny got caught in his thoughts, Craig moved a little closer, his arms crossed over his chest protectively as if he was waiting to block an attack, wanting to pour coffee for himself, though, at the same time, he didn't want to have Kenny talk to him. There was a thick silence as Craig and Kenny tried to separately decide exactly what to do, both of the frustrated boys coming up with nothing as they stared at the kitchen floor, both of them, equally, hating awkward moments, and silence, not knowing how to resolve them; Kenny and Craig both hated things that they couldn't solve themselves. One of them had to make a move though, at least to make things less tense, since they were both acting like little pussies though, only looking at the floor as if it held all the clues to the odd feelings they were having for each other.

At this point during their high school career, Stan was known for having verbal diarrhea, saying shit that he couldn't control, or chose not to control, which was how he and Kyle started dating in the first place, and Kenny was starting to feel the same sensation. When it came to Craig, Kenny had little care, or consideration, for things he said, and did, which had always erupted into a fight. There was no way to be sure that a fight wouldn't break out, yet again though, Kenny couldn't help to admit to himself that he kind of wanted that to happen. In a way, to Kenny, it was hot when they got in a fight, his body sometimes ending up pressed against Craig's on the ground - guess Kenny really never grew out of his pervy "faze". 

Since he had slowly come to realize that he and Craig had been standing in silence for ten minutes, Kenny cleared his throat, pulling a thick joint from his jean pocket, cupping his beaten left hand by the lighting cherry instinctively, so used to smoking outside, and expecting the wind to blow out the flame. Today wouldn't matter if they smoked inside, since Kenny was planning on deep cleaning the entire house after the party, so Karen wouldn't have to inhale the scent of weed as soon as she came home. Craig watched from the corner of his eye, wanting to be offered the chance to relax, for just a _second_ around Kenny, and, much to Craig's relief, Kenny silently offered the joint, not even looking up from the floor as the smoke poured from his lips, rippling up to the ceiling, before dispersing.

"Ken-" Craig started to speak up, his voice remaining monotone, but before he could get anymore out, the front door opened harshly, the door knob slamming into the hole that was already in the wall, both of the boys in the kitchen slightly jumping. Stan and Clyde barreled in, both out of them out of breath from sprinting for an unknown reason. Kenny and Craig only blinked at each other, before looking back at their panting, dramatic friends. Craig raised an eyebrow, annoyed that he was interrupted when he had been up most of the night thinking about what he was going to say to Kenny. "What's up with you, douchebags?"

Snickering a little at Craig's insult, Kenny approached his two friends. Since the boys were standing in the doorway, basically blocking Kenny's view of outside, which made Kenny immediately suspicious of what these two idiots were trying to hide. "What are you hiding?" Kenny didn't dance around shit, and even though Stan and Clyde both knew this, they were still surprised, somehow, that he was able to figure out their intent so quickly. They stayed frozen still, just looking at each other, and then looking back at Kenny, like he was going to magically disappear, or forget about his own question. "Yo, guys?"

Stan snapped to attention, his face turning a little red as he started an attempt to lie to Kenny. "W-What are you talking about?"

Even Clyde looked at Stan like he was dumb, moving to the side with surprised silence, to reveal Wendy and Bebe, talking to each quietly, not noticing the fact that they had exactly been invited by the leader. As a previous ruled, they had all agreed to never invite girls to walk with them to school. As they were older now, Kenny didn't give a shit, since it was a rule made when they were going through major puberty, and were angry that the girls in their grade wouldn't talk to them - that was a few years, before Stan and Kyle realized they loved each other. For whatever reason, the boys thought that Kenny still wanted the rule to be a thing, which couldn't be farther from the truth. He looked back at both of them, like they had three heads, looking at Craig to see a reaction from him, only to find he was looking at Stan and Clyde the exact same way. "Guys, why in the hell would I care whether they hang out with us?"

Exchanging a look, Stan and Clyde shrugged, the talking between the two girls fading away as they realized Kenny's glances. Wendy and Bebe waved at Kenny though, both a little nervous that he'd be an asshole, since Kenny had a reputation with a lot of the girls in the school. They spoke to him every once and awhile, but it was always very brief, since it was when they bought weed. "H-Hey!" Bebe uttered out, her bouncy blonde hair shivering against her neck, as the tense wind passed through the teens.

For dramatic affect, Kenny paused, holding back a smirk at how scared everyone looked at the moment, like he could snap his fingers, and select their destiny. Kind of funny how they all went from treating him like just some poor kid, to a damn king. The king part wasn't exactly healthy all the time, but the change was so dramatically different, he couldn't help to let a smile crack. "Hey! How have you guys been?" Finishing the question with a big grin, the boys next to him relaxed as the tension left their air, even Wendy breathing with relief. "You comin' to my party later?"

Wendy, being the smartest person there, saw that Kenny was kind of making fun of them for thinking he was _that_ much of an asshole. She smiled a little, brushing her short, black bangs off to the side. "Duh, why else would we be here? To hang out with you?"

If Kenny was anyone else, he would've gotten offended, but since he was who he was, he found her sarcasm refreshing, and clever - obviously, she was kidding anyways. Kenny and Wendy always had a silent understanding, both of them appreciating the things the other did throughout their lives. Back in elementary, if Kenny had openly agreed with most of what she had said, he definitely would've been kicked out of his friend group, though, now, no one gave a shit about really anything, all of them becoming more accepting, and understanding with age. Overall, he admired her strong will, and her fearless determination to always do the right thing; it was something Kenny had been striving for since he was young.

Though he wanted joking around with Wendy, Kenny got serious again. For one, he wanted to make sure the girls _really_ knew they were welcome, and, his mind had somehow drifted back to the fact that he had the most awkward interaction in existence with Craig, and it wasn't even close to be resolved. Unfortunately, Kenny could only take his problems one at a time, focusing on Wendy and Bebe, instead his own petty mess. Since he legitimately like both of them, and they were trustworthy people he had known most of his life, Kenny decided that Wendy and Bebe should be apart of their group. "Wanna join our gang?"

It was a very strict rule (the gang had a lot more rules than any of them had realized up until recently, and none of them were sure how that happened), to never invite someone into the gang without a meeting first, however, since they all knew each other, Kenny figured he would get a pass. No one around him protested thankfully, as Bebe and Wendy tried to decide separately if they wanted to join a "boys' club". Bebe spoke up first, her right hand holding her hip tightly as she stood her ground, as if she was ready to fight whoever the fuck got in her way - Kenny liked her spirit, even if she was offended at the moment. "Don't be a jerk, Kenny."

"Hey," Kenny said patiently, not wanting to set Bebe's anger off anymore. In elementary, Bebe had been a queen bee, the top female leader. When South Park developed into a new city, and brought it more people, there were multiple groups of girls that bullied her, which caused her to crack permanently; she never took any sort of crap now, didn't conform to social beauty standards, and was happier than she used to be when she was at the top. Now, she was probably the scariest girl in school, her rage a goddamn super power - Clyde still thought she was the hottest girl ever though, no matter how many times she beat the shit out of him. Clyde always did dumb shit to deserve her attacks though, and sometimes, knowing that fact, Kenny was surprised she kept giving him chances. His thoughts quickly circling back to the conversation that was currently happening, Kenny finished trying to reassure the girls: "I'm one hundred percent serious."

The girls turned around quickly, talking between themselves lowly, glancing back at all of them every once, and awhile. While Kenny waited for their answer, he turned towards Stan and Clyde, avoiding eye contact with Craig while he leaned on the door frame, an obvious scowl on his face. Just as Clyde was probably about to gush with excitement over Bebe's invite into the gang, Kyle, Cartman, Tweek, and Token approached from where they had been standing awkwardly about twenty feet away. It wasn't like they didn't get along with each other, but there was something more to the thick silence, and the avoidance of eye contact, that made Kenny suspicious. The only one of them that even spared him a glance, was Token, who looked irritated, his eyebrows scrunched together tightly, and his lips pressed firmly together, as if he was holding back a huge secret.

Before Kenny could open his mouth to ask what was bothering his friend, Bebe and Wendy were running up to him, tackling him in a hug he never would've expected. Maybe he would've from Bebe, but definitely not Wendy, she just didn't seem like the hugging type. They both pulled back, Wendy grinned with her arm around Bebe. "Hell yeah we'll join your gang! We're so relieved, we _hate_ our friend group. Thanks, Ken."

Again, not being able to get out a word, Bebe and Wendy approached Clyde and Stan now, cheering, and discussing things that Kenny didn't bother to listen into. It may have been weird to anyone else that Stan and Wendy were such good friends, since they had a lot of history from aged eight til about thirteen, however, before Stan even figured out he was in love with Kyle, he determined that him and Wendy worked better as friends. That whole situation had happened so fast, Kenny felt like his head was spinning, or, maybe that was dramatic.

While everyone went back to normal, talking among themselves, Kenny led Token into the house quickly, Craig moving aside just enough for Kenny to give him a side glance. Stan wasn't oblivious for once though, following as soon as he saw Craig also follow quickly, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. Even if all of them were really close, there were a lot of secrets - probably too many. Kenny, trying to relax the atmosphere, plopped down on his couch, Craig sitting on his left, while Stan sat on his right, all three of them facing Token, who was on the other couch, his face in his hands. For the billionth time today, there was long, unsettling silence. Kenny wasn't sure what Token would be so serious about, but if he was this serious about something, Kenny was starting to feel a little scared. To relax everyone's nerves, and maybe even his own, Kenny cleared his throat, all eyes swinging to him. "Why.. yeah uh, why do you look so serious?"

Token cringed a little, a look of sadness sweeping over his face, almost like he could burst into tears. "N-Nicole broke up with me.."

Obviously, none of the boys expected that to be the reason he was scarily silent, however, as sad as it was, it was almost a relief that something more serious wasn't going on. Stan and Craig glared at Token though, very unhappy that he made them worry so much, while Kenny was just confused, since he didn't even realize that Nicole and Token were dating, again. Before he could even ask about it though, Stan was pinching the bridge of his nose, groaning dramatically loud. "Are you kidding me, dude? You're upset because she broke up with you, _again_?"

Token and Nicole had been on and off for years, breaking up at least once a year, maybe even more sometimes, either over a stupid argument, or one of them wanting to sleep with someone else, which just wasn't health, or normal. Kenny thought that Token truly loved her at some point, but Nicole never really loved him, though it's not like Kenny could judge, since he had never really had any type of relationship before. Still, despite their relationship being unstable for so long, Kenny felt for his friend, sighing heavily, kicking Stan harshly for being a dick about it. "I didn't even know you were back together with her, man."

Sniffling to hold back some tears, Token shrugged, looking at his hands, not even noticing Stan groaning in pain, holding the area where Kenny had kicked. "We were only back together for a few days, and this morning she called me, and told me that we're over - for good. She doesn't feel the same about me anymore, and I guess, she hasn't in a while."

The boys all fell deathly silent, feeling for their friend, who was obviously still in love with her in a way. Stan was about to lay out some advice, that probably wouldn't have even helped, but the front door opened quickly, Clyde running in as if someone was about to die. Actually, now that Kenny was thinking about it, Clyde always entered a room like that. Why was he so dramatic? He ran straight towards Token though, not looking at anyone else, kneeling in front of him like he was going to propose, grabbing his hands and looking deeply into his eyes. "Bebe said you looked upset. What happened? Is it Nicole again?"

Craig and Kenny were surprised by Clyde caring so delicately, and sincerely, yet Token looked unfazed, only smiling gently at his friend kneeling in front of him, like it happened often, squeezing his hands. Kenny was starting to consider that maybe it did. "Yeah.. she said we're over for good. Man, what am I gonna do without her?"

Caressing the top of Token's hand, Clyde smiled softly, his eyes shining with optimism. "Be a better you. I'll be here with you through it all. I promise."

As Kenny was thinking that this was kind of funny, Craig was covering his mouth, trying not to burst out with laughter. It didn't work for long though, his chuckles bubbling over his hand as he pulled out his phone to take a picture, earning a glare from everyone, but Kenny. "This is so gay."

The two boys on the opposite couch just kept glaring at Craig, however, still moved farther apart, probably realizing that Craig was a little right. Kenny kind of silently agreed, and got up, a little bored with the conversation, it was about time for them to leave for school anyways. Stan followed as soon as he noticed Kenny going out the front door, wanting to see Kyle anyways, and make sure his best friend was being somewhat stable today. Stan and Kyle hadn't walked to Kenny's together because Clyde had dragged Stan out of his house, and all over the neighborhood, by five-thirty in the morning, picking up Wendy and Bebe. Everyone, besides Cartman, was talking in a group with Bebe and Wendy, all the voices actually being quite loud, which was kind of normal, though it was still strange to Kenny how fast they all fit together, like they hadn't missed a beat since elementary. Stan and Kyle fell into each other, literally, clinging to each other like they hadn't been together in years, which was overly dramatic, and sweet, at the same time.

It wasn't that Kenny was feeling bad about himself again, or whatever the other reason could be, but he decided he wanted to walk to school alone. He had all night to hang out with his friends, and kind of felt like he needed alone time, which he hadn't not gotten a lot the past few years, and had some catching up to do. Although, as soon as he started to walk away, he felt someone behind him, and peaked over his shoulder to see Craig, walking to catch up with him, his eyes glued to the ground. Even if they didn't have a weird thing going on, Kenny was sure that Craig would've walked with him anyways, since he always got jealous when Tweek talked with other people, and he hated when people were loud. Tweek and Craig had pretended to date when they were in elementary, however, they broke it off as soon as more people started to move to South Park, and Kenny knew that Craig developed feelings for him while they were "dating". Honestly, Kenny thought that Tweek realized Craig's feelings, and broke it off to avoid hurting him, he would never share that with anyone, especially Craig, obviously.

One of the main reasons why Kenny wanted to go to school alone, was to possibly run into Butters, yet, now with Craig following, he actually wanted to avoid Butters. Honestly, Kenny really didn't want his friends to know he had a crush on someone, mainly because he didn't want it to become a reality - if he actually said it out loud, or if someone other than Kyle and Stan knew, Kenny was afraid of what could happen to himself, or Leo. Even if he didn't know Butters well, Kenny felt like he had to protect him for as long as possible, even though the possibility of them seeing each other after high school, was extremely low. Maybe, it wasn't even worth it, to drag someone else down with him.

Craig knew they needed to talk about _something_ , in spite of that, he decided against saying something, enjoying the silence away from their idiot friends while he could. Obviously, he cared about his friends, it was just really nice to have a break from them sometimes, and remember to separate his own personality, from his friends'. The only personality no one ever copied, was Kenny's, since he was so unique, and so admired by his friends, no one even accidentally copied him; it was almost like everyone knew that there was only one Kenny McCormick. Maybe that's why Craig was kind of attracted to him though, Kenny was just so _different_ , it made Craig want to conquer him. Did that even make sense? Craig really wasn't sure, and it was kind of weird that he had even thought that.

Since there wasn't a large group of them, Kenny and Craig got to school much faster than usual. Kenny wasn't really paying attention to Craig though, silently searching the grounds for any signs of Leo, even though, earlier, he had decided it was better to not speak to him in front of Craig, he really couldn't help himself. As they walked passed a bunch of annoying assholes, Kenny's phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out to see a text from Kyle, asking where he and Craig had wandered off to, but he ignored it, and shoved his phone back where it had been. They'd survive without him for fifteen minutes, why was it even such a big deal that he left without them? Could they really not be by themselves without him? Or is it that they miss him? Really, Kenny wasn't sure what was the truth anymore, and he wasn't even sure he wanted to find out at this point.

Like Kenny was walking into his school for the first time, he realized exactly how many people there were. He had been going to South Park High for what seemed like forever, that he had gotten used to the crowded hallways, though, with his state of slight anxiousness, and uncertainty, Kenny felt lost walking through the crowd, his eyes locking on the ground. Craig walked silently next to him still, confused by the weird look on Kenny's face; Kenny was not the type of person to get anxious, or even really scared, so it kind of freaked him out to see his friend looking like Tweek, when he read too much into conspiracies. Becoming aware of the way he was behaving, Kenny shook his head, standing up straighter, forcing his face to relax as he side-glanced at Craig. He had a reputation to uphold, with Craig, and the rest of the people in school, there was no time for any weakness brought on by some cute, random boy. Kenny needed the things he had built for himself, and this adorable boy, was beginning to crumble everything, just by existing. It also didn't help, that at the same time, Craig was looking just as _hot_ as always.

 _Okay, Ken, we just need to avoid Leo at all costs. Should be easy, right?_ Kenny thought to himself, scowling at nothing as he realized that maybe, it wouldn't be as simple as he'd like it to be, since they did go to the same damn school. _Fuck you, dumbass._

Of course, like the universe wanted to fuck with Kenny, he spotted Butters at his locker, the multiple large binders he always had, clenched tightly to his chest, as if someone would actually care to steal them. Kenny stared for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly as he stared at the beautiful, small boy, once again. For the first time since they met, Kenny noticed that Butters had a scar through his left eye, that same eye, being a paler blue than the other, to Kenny though, he was still flawless. He had kind of noticed his eye when they had met on multiple occasions before, though, he just never thought anything of it, until, as it was very noticeable. Like a gravitational pull, or even a physical pull, Kenny walked towards Butters, leaving Craig to stand in the middle of the hallway by himself, with no explanation, just an empty spot. Kenny wasn't concerned with Craig at the moment though, not even with the thought that he might see that Kenny actually liked someone, only thinking about the mysterious boy in front of him.

He was right behind Butters now, slowly reaching one of his battered hands out to tap his shoulder, and start a conversation. Kenny would've moved faster, only, he couldn't, since he knew that Butters was kind of afraid of him, and he really didn't want to scare the small boy off. Finally, after what felt like ten minutes, when it was really only ten seconds, Kenny tapped Butters' shoulder lightly, the smaller boy whipping around immediately, his eyes wide with fear as Kenny only smiled a toothy grin at him. "K-Kenny?"

"Hey, Leo!" Kenny waved a little, his smile growing wider as Butters blushed a little, avoiding eye contact, again. Even though Butters had said he hated being called Leo, he sure did blush a lot when Kenny said it.

The surprised facade dropped quickly from Butters' face though, a blank, and slightly nervous look, taking over instead. It was obvious, that he didn't want to be near Kenny, which kind of made Kenny's heart threaten to sink. "What do you want?" He mumbled, which caused Kenny to drop his smile a little too, not understanding what he could do differently. "I-I need to go to class."

Butters went to walk around Kenny, but, making an impulse decision, he grabbed the smaller boy's wrist, holding him next to him to get to ask what he wanted. Now though, Kenny's confidence was dwindling, and his question was coming out more pathetic than it usually would've: "Um, I know you hate me or whatever, but I'm having a party at six tonight, and I'd like it if you were there?"

Unexpectedly, Butters ripped his hand away from Kenny, almost hissing at him. He pointed a shaky finger up at Kenny, his face red as a tomato. "You're right, I do _hate_ you. Stay away from me."

With that powerful declaration, Butters marched off down the hall, leaving Kenny to just stare at the lockers. If someone had witnessed everything, they would've assumed that Kenny was upset, and would leave him alone, yet, everything that just went down, left him to feel even more motivated to get Butters to like him. To anyone else, Butters' words would've been a clear sign to stop, while Kenny saw something - a resistance to him. There _had_ to be some reason that Leo hated him, and he wasn't going to leave him alone until he changed his mind. Kenny was fucking determined for the small, and kind of angry, boy to not only be his friend, but to also join their group of friends. Of course, he wanted to be close to Butters, however, he also saw that Butters didn't really have any friends, and Kenny had always felt, that everyone should have at least one friend. So, for now, Kenny was going to be his friend from a distance, and be patient.

Having kind of seen what happened from a few feet away, Craig approached Kenny, expecting to see him upset, finding him with a rather large smirk on his face. Even though he was taken back by that, Craig's face showed no emotion, just like always, as he started to piece everything together. "So," Kenny looked up at Craig, a little surprised that he didn't hear him walk up. "You've got a crush, huh?"

"Don't say shit." Kenny whispered immediately, narrowing his eyes at Craig, who was now smirking a little. "This stays between us, Tucker."

Shrugging, Craig only nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. Kenny knew though, that he wouldn't say anything, especially since Kenny was the only one who knew that Craig liked Tweek; their friendship was basically tied together with insults, lust and secrets - which wasn't the best on the outside, on the inside though, it was probably the most stable friendship they both had. They stood there for a moment, as their secret agreement was set in place, both of them just looking at each other, while trying to avoid just starting. Craig was close to giving in, his teeth grazing over his bottom lips as Kenny's eyes darted to his mouth, a natural reaction on both their parts, neither one of them even thinking about it. As a bell rang, though, the intensity broke off, both of them trying to comprehend that it happened.

Kenny and Craig continued through school as if nothing had happened not even two minutes earlier, just trying to move on from the awkwardness they were causing for themselves. Letting his mind drift back to Leo, and later tonight, earlier, Kenny hadn't really been excited for the party, though, with the invite he gave to Butters, and his growing confidence, Kenny was starting to change his mind. It also helped that Craig was still eyeing him, frustration apparent on his face.

_Yeah, this could be worth it. Bring on this fucking party._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> every time i sit down to write something comes up, i was honestly just lucky i finally finished this chapter. but im glad i could finally introduce some interesting action ;)
> 
> honestly, the main reason i haven't been updating, is because i've been pretty depressed. i'm hoping i can get back into this soon, but it might be a bit.. much love <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient everyone, I appreciate every single read, and kudos.:)
> 
> It's been a month since I last wrote, and I know none of you are upset with me for it, but I'm upset with myself. I love this story so much, and I love writing for other people, life has just gotten in the way - work mainly. I just got all four of my wisdom teeth removed today, so I have five days off! Again, thank you for being so understanding.
> 
> Warnings: Party time (drinking, smoking, dumb shit), kind of smut (not super detailed, kind of just skimmed over & mentioned), & fighting

The day, did not go by as fast as Kenny would've wanted to. After their first few classes, the rest of the group had finally caught up to Kenny, and would not shut the hell up about the party - sure, Kenny was also a little pumped, however, to talk about it _constantly_ was starting to rag on him a little. The encounter with Butters earlier had left him ecstatic, now that he had time to think about things for awhile, Kenny was starting to wonder more explicitly why Leo hated him so much. Of course, Kenny had people like Henry, and some rival gangs, that hated him, though, it was never rooted from personal dislike, only professional dislike - at first. As much as he wanted to see Leo again between classes, there was something that told Kenny, to just stay away from now. Obviously, Kenny respected people's wishes, unless there was conflicting information given to him; like, for example, although Butters would stand there and say he hated Kenny, he still blushed whenever they would speak. How much more confusing could he be?

Even though Kenny and Craig took off from the group today without a word, no one was mad about it, in fact, no one - except Kyle - even really noticed, which relieved Kenny. Clyde and Token were basically attached at the hip, not really paying attention to anyone else, which was weird, since most of the time, Token wanted to sock Clyde in the mouth, or just avoid him all together. Besides Stan and Clyde being distracted, more wrapped up in the guy next to them, it was really obvious that they were excited for the party; what Kenny found pretty funny though, was Clyde's lack of attention on Bebe, who he was supposed to be having sex with tonight, and neither of them really seemed to notice. Bebe was locked in conversation with Wendy constantly, talking about God knows what for hours, and hours. In Kenny's opinion, he thought his friends were acting kind of funny, though, he also considered the possibility that they were nervous, and leaning on a friend for support. Still, there were some things that were more important than his friend's behaviors right now. On top of needing to figure out how to help Stan get a bunch of alcohol in such a short amount of time, Kenny had also been thinking about the Irish Mob again, wondering whether or not they were still after him, and if his friends were in the middle of it.

Actually, and Kenny was embarrassed to admit this, even to himself, he was starting to think about how weird it was that Butters showed up right around the time the Irish Mob did, but he felt ridiculous even considering that Butters was part of this conspiracy. The more Kenny tried to convince himself that it was _impossible_ that Butters was somehow involved, the more it seemed possible that he actually was - why else would Butters hate him so much? On the other hand, maybe, Kenny was just making shit up in his head to convince himself he wasn't a bad person that people legitimately hated, a thought that was seeming more common nowadays. Lately, it appeared to be, that the boy who used to be so carefree, and pervy, was kind of depressed. Or, possibly, paused, was a better word.

"Ken!" Breaking Kenny out of his long thoughts, Kyle walked a short distance to him from where he had been eating lunch with Stan, deciding to confront Kenny on his seemingly secret behavior. Typically, Kyle saw more than he lead on, and had been paying attention to Kenny for awhile now, concerned about his best friend, again. This whole week, Kenny had obviously been trying to be himself more, though, Kyle could see there was something that was holding him back, no matter how much reassurance he received. Leaning against the brick wall, of one of the school buildings, next to Kenny, as he smoked a cigarette, Kyle contemplated exactly what to ask, since Kenny liked to be vague when it came to his feelings. The red haired boy looked at his friend though, trying to read his thoughtful expression, finding nothing, except empty answers. "Where'd you and Craig go this morning?"

The question was innocent, and random enough, though, Kenny could hear the concern laced in his voice. Since Kyle's dad was killed though, Kenny knew better than to berate his concerns, and decided to just answer whatever he wanted to ask, as truthfully as possible. "To school."

"Mm." Kyle hummed, kicking the rocks on the beaten up sidewalk, feeling disconnected from his friend. "Why'd you leave without us?"

By the way he had said, it would've seemed like Kyle was upset with Kenny, though, it was obvious now, that he was upset, in general. Kenny figured he was thinking about his dad again, since, sometimes when he got too deep in his own thoughts, Kyle's mind seemed to drift to the darkest places - he was having that in common with Kyle lately. Since he didn't really know what to say in regards to Kyle's upset feelings about his father, Kenny decided to just answer his question, hoping that Stan would be able to comfort his boyfriend, instead: "I, uh, just had some thinking to do, and Craig randomly tagged along."

Although that was true, Kenny didn't tell the _whole_ truth, not even mentioning Butters, or hinting at him. Only Craig knew, and that's how Kenny wanted to keep it for now, even if Kyle would be very supportive, if Kenny was going to do this right, he didn't need anyone trying to interfere. Kyle knew there was something more of course, yet, decided to refocus on the thing he actually wanted to talk about - his dad. "Kenny," Kyle started quietly, turning his back towards the other boys as tears started to well up in his eyes. Kyle knew that Kenny didn't understand the way he felt, never losing a parent the same way he had, but still turned to him over anyone else; he wasn't exactly sure why he chose Kenny to be his shoulder to lean on, maybe it was the fact that he was a great listener, or maybe it was the fact that he didn't say anything, or attempt to give advice, unless asked. "I-I know my dad and I weren't that close, but I.. I miss him so much.."

It was true, Kyle and his dad weren't close at all, not since he was young and Gerald had made that trolling account that showed how shallow he truly was, although, that didn't mean Kyle couldn't miss him, the guy had been his father after all; still, Kenny wasn't sure what to say, he had never lost a parent the way Kyle had, nor had he ever had a real parent in the first place. If anything, Stan would be the person to understand better, since Sharon had left him and Randy, and took Shelly to Indiana. It wouldn't have been exactly the same thing, it was just better than what Kenny could give him. Even though he didn't know what to say, Kenny still rubbed Kyle's arm comfortingly, trying not to draw attention from the other boys. "I know, Ky.. Just because you weren't close though, doesn't mean you can't miss him. He was your one and only father, there no replacing him."

Kyle only nodded, wiping his tears quickly with his sweater sleeve, avoiding Kenny's worried stare. Only smiling tiredly at his best friend though, Kyle shook away the pain in his chest, forcing himself to look happier, even though he wasn't. Kenny's attempt was well appreciated on Kyle's part, except, truthful words could never eliminate pain, or replace family. "You're right, Ken. Thanks for listening."

Before Kenny could call Kyle out on his fake-happy bullshit, Kyle turned away, walking passed everyone, and going straight into the school, throwing his green hood on, to hide the fact that he had just been crying. Stan approached Kenny as soon as Kyle was inside, his face pale, and his hands shaking where they hid in his jacket pockets. Obviously, Stan had no idea what was going on, all he had seen, was Kyle ignoring him and just going into school. "W-What's wrong with, Ky?"

Knowing Stan, Kenny knew that his brain immediately went the worst thing possible, which was that Kyle wanted to break up, but if Stan was thinking clearly, he would've realized that was so far from the truth. Even if this did have to do with Stan, Kyle would never, ever consider leaving his boyfriend, utterly in love with him - in many ways, Kenny envied them. "He's thinking about his dad, again." Stan visibly relaxed to an extent, before realizing that this was still serious, scowling deeply at his feet. "You need to talk to him, Stan. He needs his boyfriend."

No matter how much they loved each other, Stan and Kyle had some issues within their relationship, and one of the major issues, was Stan not being able to support Kyle emotionally. He had been working on it, of course, though, since he was distracted by his own problems, he failed to notice when Kyle was also going through something. It appeared this time though, that Stan was stepping up, like Kenny knew he could, and calmed himself down, walking after wherever his boyfriend had gone off to. Today was supposed to be a drama free day for all of them, however, it was only a few hours into the day, and Kenny had dealt with more drama than a soap opera actor. Sometimes, Kenny _really_ hated how his friends were always going to him for every little thing. He could barely get a second to himself while at school, even at this second, Cartman, Tweek, and Token were approaching him, arguing among themselves about something that Kenny was definitely about to hear about. Instead of letting his friends get to him, Kenny decided to try to escape in the opposite direction, wanting to find an excuse to not deal with their arguing, but his feet stopped dead in their tracks as soon as his eyes connected with Butters', who was staring in his direction with wide, fearful eyes. For whatever reason - and this was the only way Kenny could explain it simply - it looked like Butters had seen a ghost.

Again though, Kenny was blocked from communicating with Butters, by his friends this time, who didn't even notice that Kenny was looking at someone else, and someone they had never seen before. Cartman was grumbling something under his breath as Tweek continued ranting about something, though, Kenny wasn't listening until a certain point that caught his attention: "-And n-now the Irish Mob is here! We gotta get out of here, man, before they kill us all! Agh!"

"Irish Mob?" Kenny questioned as soon as Tweek finished his sentence, the possibility of the Mob still being in South Park crushing Kenny's chest like a bag of bricks - which he had experienced before, so he wasn't exactly being dramatic. "What are you talking about, Tweek?"

Token turned fully towards their leader, not even blinking at Kenny's scared expression, convinced that they were both paranoid conspiracy theorists, only crossing his arms over his chest like the mom he was. They had all decided a couple years ago, that Token was the official mom of the group, and he never failed to fill in that part, everyday. "Tweek has this _insane_ conspiracy theory that the Irish Mob is in South Park, and, for whatever reason, wants to kill us all."

Thankfully, for Kenny, Token thought it was too ridiculous to be true, despite Kenny being anxious, needing more answers. If Tweek was just being paranoid, then he could relax, but if he wasn't.. his friends were in danger because of him, for real this time. "Tweek," Twitching towards Kenny, he yelled a curse, before nodding curtly. "Where are you getting this idea?"

Cartman and Token were starting to pay attention to Kenny's questions now, which prompted him to avoid their stares, and keep his focus on Tweek only, who was running his hands through his hair anxiously. "Man, I saw them! They were outside your house this morning!" Kenny's skin went ice cold, his eyes going wide as it was finally confirmed that they were still trying to kill him, which meant, that when he died in front of them, it was for nothing. Tweek was done talking though, continuing frantically: "I-I asked them who they were, and they told me, Kenny! W-What did we do?!"

"Kenny," Cartman spoke up softly, some anger apparent in his voice. As Kenny turned to him, he noticed that Cartman was only looking down at the ground, his hands balled up at his sides, as if he wanted to hit him. "What did you do?"

There was thick silence as Kenny decided whether or not to tell his three friends the truth. Truly, he hadn't done anything wrong, though, they would probably be upset with him for not sharing these important things, and he would have to explain that he didn't want to put them in danger anyways. So, in the end, it would be better to tell them the truth, than for them to lose their trust in him - if they hadn't already. "My parents screwed them over, and for whatever reason, they want me dead in their place." Craig and Clyde had approached at some point, and were surprised at the topic of the conversation, adding to the tension in the air. "I-I didn't really tell anyone because I wanted to handle it on my own, so no one would get hurt."

Clyde crossed his arms over his chest, his cheeks growing a little rosy with anger as Bebe and Wendy also joined the conversation, a little uncomfortable with the angry stares that were being beaten down on Kenny's head. "What about you?! Were you just going to sacrifice yourself?!"

With how upset his friends were, Kenny was beginning to see that he did mean a lot to them, and regretted not sharing something so important with all of them earlier. To him, in general, it would've been better if they didn't know about it until after he took care of it, just for the simple fact that, now, they would be constantly worried about their safety. "Yeah, I guess.."

Not standing for that bullshit, Token stepped a little ahead of everyone else, turning on his heel swiftly to face the rest of the gang, standing only a little ahead of Kenny. "We," Looking at all of them for confirmation that they all agreed with what he was about to say, everyone shook their head. "Will fight with you."

"What?" Kenny blinked at him, like he was the world's stupidest sentence in human form, and to Kenny, he was in that second. They didn't understand that they _couldn't_ win, while he had an unlimited amount of chances. "This isn't a fight we could win, we have to find another way."

Inserting herself into the conversation after remaining very quiet, Wendy spoke up, sass obvious in her voice, her arms crossing somberly. "What other way is there?"

Shoving his fist in his pockets, his brain swarming with thousands of different answers that none of them would've understood, Kenny tightly smiled. "We'll have a meeting tomorrow morning." It was kind of Kenny's way to put it off until Stan and Kyle could help him with the conversation, and the plan. Something that occurred to Kenny, during the entire conversation, was the fact that the people outside his house had basically introduced themselves to Tweek which was definitely not something that hit men would've done, or anyone from the Mob, for that matter.

As if on cue, the bell rang, releasing Kenny from the intense, and scared, stares of his friends. He needed to do anything else right now, but be in school - Kenny absolutely wanted to be alone though, and made it seem like he was going into his class, which he shared with Kyle and Stan thankfully, knowing that they wouldn't say anything to the others about his absence. What Kenny was skipping school for, was definitely stupid, and something he could've done any other time, and day, of the week, and yet, here he was, walking towards the tattoo and piercing shop that he had been admiring for months. Maybe it was a need to feel a little more alive after realizing all over again that his immortality was still a goddamn curse, but Kenny just _had_ to get his tongue, and ears, pierced, right now. Honestly, he had been saving up for the piercings for quite some time, and just hadn't told anyone, out of embarrassment. Not even Karen knew. Kenny was becoming more reckless obviously though, his lack of care about to be physically visible, with the bonus of looking cool as hell.

For whatever reason, the place was called Best Coast, even though they were in Colorado, and there was nothing even remotely good about South Park. Still, Kenny strolled in like he could run the place, throwing his backpack on one of the empty chairs in the small waiting room, walking to the counter where a scrawny, light-skinned guy was smoking a cigarette, reading something on his phone. It took a moment for the man to notice him, and when he did, he didn't seem fazed at all by the young kid in front of him, only taking a long drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke in Kenny's face.

"What do you want kid?" The guy set down his phone, sighing heavily as he picked up a pen from the counter, prepared to write whatever Kenny was going to say, in some paperwork.

"Tongue and ear piercings." Kenny stated without skipping a beat, not being shy at all in front of a total stranger. When it came to people - except Butters - Kenny talked to every single one of them the same, since most people _were_ basically the same to him, Kenny always knew what to say.

The scrawny guy put out his cigarette in the white ash tray next to him, that was already full of cigarette butts, and started to write something else down quickly. There was about a minute of just the sound of a pen scratching against paper, before the guy clapped his hands together once, causing Kenny to jump a little; what really didn't help Kenny's startled reaction, was the sudden wide smile on the man's face now, creeping him out, just a bit. Walking about ten feet to a red chair in the corner of the next room over, before Kenny had the chance to question the whole thing, the guy looked a little too excited to pierce Kenny, holding the shoulders of the seat, waiting with obvious anticipation.

"I'm Jason," The guy randomly started, patting the chair below him, before he turned to clean his tools. "I thought you were gonna be some dumbass kid who wanted a fucking, stupid tattoo, but I'm glad that you want piercings instead. In my opinion, man, piercings are more efficient."

Although, Kenny didn't ask the guy for his opinion, he was relieved that he - Jason - seemed to be a chill guy who was just sick of every teenager thinking they were in a gang. Yeah, Kenny was _actually_ in a gang, though, he never labeled his group of friends in the same sense that everyone else in the world would; Kenny meant it as his gang of friends, and not a gang like the Bloods, or the Crips. Most people would disagree though, especially with all the drug, and weapon, dealing they had been doing in the past, that didn't exactly make them look good. Maybe this wasn't important, maybe it was, either way, it was a personal defining moment for Kenny. Since he could remember, he only did things for other people, which was obvious just from the friends he had, so Kenny felt like this time, he was going to randomly do something stupid for himself. For fucks sake, Kenny was throwing a party at _his_ place, and he was originally planning on being mostly sober to look out for everyone else. No, this time, Kenny was going to be the one to get more fucked up than Stan, which was saying something.

With every type of way Kenny had died, it wasn't a surprise to him that the piercings he got, didn't hurt, despite one of them being through his goddamn tongue. While getting his piercings, Jason had proceed to tell him basically his entire life, and even offered Kenny a free tattoo whenever he wanted one, despite Kenny barely saying anything the entire time. Leaving the tattoo and piercing place now, rather quickly after getting there, smiling like a dipshit, and strutting like he was the damn president, Kenny spotted a liquor store, his feelings of invincibility and recklessness clouding his usual logical thoughts, which lead him to change his direction, and blow into the store to get whatever the hell he wanted. It was kind of like Kenny was starting to take on the personality traits of his younger, and stupid self again, except, to the extreme. At the second though, all of the progress he had throughout the years didn't mean shit; maybe it was what Butters said to him, or maybe it was the fact that everyone knew Kenny could possibly get them killed, but he was down-spiraling, not even looking back up to see how far he had fallen in such a short amount of time.

The guy at the front desk barely glanced at him, though, was well aware that Kenny was underage, not really giving a shit, since most teenagers do illegal things no matter what. If a teenager wants to do something stupid - they're going to do it, there's no stopping that kind of rebellious stupidity. Walking straight to the whiskey, both Stan and Kenny preferring it over anything, Kenny grabbed three pint bottles of Fireball, a pint Jack Daniels, a couple bottles of wine, three cases of random ass beer, and some vodka. Pushing the cart, that he grabbed from a random aisle, towards the cashier, who finally looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow when he saw how much alcohol just one person was getting, especially someone so young.

"So," The guy started as he picked up the cases of beer, setting them on the counter to scan them, silently thankful to himself that they were no cameras in the store. "Throwing a party?"

Kenny, who had been digging through his pockets to find his wallet, stopped his movement, suspicious of the guy's question. Nonetheless, he smiled, his fingers finally grasped around his beat up wallet. "Uh, yeah."

He only nodded at Kenny, finishing scanning the items, manually adding the totals. Since South Park had declined so dramatically, so had store's ability to use updated systems, and, sure, it was frustrating, thankfully, there was barely enough business to get stressed. The total finally popped up for Kenny, and he groaned internally, taking a bag of weed out of his pocket, and placing it next to most of the cash that was in his wallet. There was no exchange of words, just the cashier nodding, a kind of relationship being established between the two. If Kenny ever needed alcohol again, he felt like he could count on this guy to be cool. It was weird how immature Kenny could be when it came to himself, but when it came to other people, he was more prepared, and professional, than most adults.

The only thing Kenny hadn't thought about though, was carrying everything back to his house. Yes, it was all pretty heavy, but the slight possibility of a cop seeing him was enough to make him pause at the exit of the liquor store, Kenny whipping out his phone, and scrolling through every name he had. Most people he knew, didn't own a car, either because they didn't need one, or it was just too expensive. There were plenty of bus systems through out the city, so the need for a car, was substantially lower than they used to be in South Park. Finally, though, Kenny's eyes fell on a name that he would rather not call - sure, the person did owe him a favor, however, he was actually a very dangerous, and intelligent person that kenny had a difficult relationship with. Still, despite being a little anxious, Kenny hit the call button, eager to just get the hell home.

"McCormick?" Kenny cringed at the deep voice, hiding outside of the liquor store, since he knew there was going to be scolding on the other end of the line. "You callin' me now after all this time? Boy, I ought to whoop your ass!" The older of the two sighed heavily as he finished his short rant, some movement being heard as Kenny just leaned against the building, annoyed that he was even being yelled at when it wasn't his fault. "Are you okay? I-"

Having enough of the personal talk, Kenny groaned, cutting him off. "Efrem, you know I'd love to catch up, man, but I gotta get somewhere. You busy?"

Being obnoxious as he always was about having to do someone a favor, car keys jingled against the phone, Efrem, no doubt, smiling. "Nah. Where you at?"

Looking up at the liquor store, Kenny kind of laughed to himself when he read the name. "G Spot." Of course, it was just comedy gold.

The phone clicked without a reply, which was normal when it came to Kenny's friend. Actually, and this may sound bad to other people, Efrem was the one that brought Kenny into drug dealing. It was right after his parents were arrested that he met Efrem, who had been a dealer for his parents, and although he never liked Kenny's parents, Efrem helped him get on his feet, and also protected him in the process. Drug dealing probably wasn't the most responsible way to help a lost, and angry, child, but Efrem had been one of the few people in his life that he would call family. Not long ago, when Kenny had decided to dial it back in the game, Efrem got frustrated, and although Kenny didn't see it before, he now understood he had been afraid of how Kenny was going to provide for Karen, and for himself, knowing how difficult it was, better than anyone, to get a job. People may have to be tough on the street, at the end of the day though, they're still people who love, and care about others. Kenny may not have been as close to Efrem as he once was, but, he knew, if he had a problem, Kenny could trust him to have his back.

Snapping Kenny out of his thoughts, a loud engine could be heard about three blocks away, which was obviously his older friend showing off. Efrem pulled up only about an inch from the curb, in his new Jaguar F-Type, the windows tinted black, along with the rest of the sleek car. Although Kenny wasn't big on cars like this, he did have to admit, it was pretty fucking nice.

Efrem opened the driver's door, towering over Kenny in height, even from several feet away. He lowered his sunglasses, his dark brown eyes immediately locking onto the bags of alcohol next to Kenny on the ground, his eyebrow raising slightly. "Ken, you havin' a party?" Kenny only nodded, feeling a little ashamed that he had asked something so stupid, from someone he respected so much. Efrem just stared at the obviously tired, teenage boy in front of him. Usually, he probably would've yelled at Kenny for dragging him all the way out there to help him take home alcohol, however, since the stress was so apparent on Kenny's face, Efrem decided that he definitely needed to party. "Get in."

Kenny, without arguing, started moving the bags in to the trunk, sliding into the passenger seat as quickly as possible, before someone saw them. Most of the ride was rather quiet, and maybe even a little uncomfortable for both of them, until Efrem was about four blocks from Kenny's; it was usual for him to be comfortable trying to talk to someone, especially Kenny, yet, since they had a falling out not long ago, neither of them knew where to begin a conversation. Efrem cleared his throat, about to start lecturing him on responsibility when it came to a party, only to be beat by Kenny, who held up a finger quickly, it falling back down as soon as it was seen. He didn't want to be disrespectful of his older friend, yet, he had to be able to stand up for himself - it may have even been a sense of pride. "I know what you're going to say," Efrem side-glanced at Kenny as he turned right onto his street, waiting for him to continue the weird conversation. "and, I'll be safe, and it's basically all of my friends you've met before."

The rumble of the engine came to a low hum as Efrem parked in front of Kenny's, his right hand still loosely wrapped around the gear shift he had just pushed forward, an unreadable expression on his face. Kenny didn't care what his parents had to say about Efrem, or what other adults would say, Efrem was a caring person, who had just had a rough life, and handled things differently than the "traditional" way. Sure, the silence was unsettling, driving Kenny up the wall with anxiety, however at the same time, there were only good intentions.

With worrying thoughts in his mind about Kenny, Efrem sighed, placing a gentle hand on Kenny's shoulder, only lightly holding it there, since he knew that Kenny wasn't a huge fan of being touched. "Look, I just need you to be safe, Ken. I care 'bout you like my own flesh and blood," Looking the opposite way to suppress a smile, a little embarrassed that simple words could make him so happy, Kenny shrugged, as if he didn't believe those words, either. "If you need me, I'm here, that's all I'm tryin' to say, boy. Now, go set up for your lame ass party."

Before he could think about it, Kenny hugged his friend for a moment, pulling away as soon as he realized how weird it was. It was only awkward, and weird, to Kenny though, since he didn't quite understand that it was normal for friends to be affectionate with each other, which made Efrem kind of chuckle to himself, glad that his young friend had called him today. As soon as Kenny got everything out of the car though, Efrem pulled out with a screech, shouting some bullshit back at him that Kenny didn't quite hear, but still managed to make him smile to himself anyways. Now that Kenny had spent some time with someone who not only practically raised him, but someone he also respected too, he felt pretty lame for leaving school to do irresponsible shit - he had been able to get alcohol for the party, which was one of the things he had to do anyways, though, the piercings, he didn't _have_ to get today. Efrem kind of reminded him, that he should think about his decisions for more than five seconds, and if he didn't have time to, learn from the mistakes that would come from it. However, Kenny didn't believe the piercings were a mistake, since he was very happy with them.

The conflicting thoughts left his mind though, as Kenny started to drag the alcohol into his house, bringing everything into the dining room as he stared at the fridge, wondering if there'd be enough room for everything. Just as he was starting to make a little plan in his head, the front door opened, causing Kenny to instinctively reach for the gun in his backpack. His fear evaporated quickly as he peaked around the corner though, and saw Kyle, kicking his shoes off, muttering visibly angry words to himself, slamming the door enough for the walls surrounding the fragile structure to shake. Kenny was convinced that his friends didn't even realize that he had slipped out, especially since he hadn't gotten a text message from any if them, yet, Kyle of all people was here, and he had _never_ skipped school; in fact, after his dad had been killed, Kyle only missed three days, and it nearly put him into even more of a dangerous downward spiral.

As if just now realizing that he should probably let Kyle know he was there, even though it was his house, Kenny stepped out from the corner. "Ky?" Kyle, being trapped in whatever he was muttering to himself about, jumped, startled for just a moment, before running to Kenny, and engulfing him in a tight hug. It wasn't that he had never hugged Kenny before, but since dating Stan, it had been a very rare thing for them to hug. _Something was definitely wrong_ Kenny thought to himself, hugging his friend back carefully, a shiver creeping down his spine as he thought of all the possibilities. "What's wrong?"

Still not pulling away, Kyle shook his head against Kenny's chest, not wanting to show his tears, and appear weak. Kenny had seen him cry more than anyone, since Kyle always came to Kenny when something was wrong, and yet, he still always tried to hide his physical pain from Kenny, as if it would change his perception of his friend - which was the farthest thing from the truth, everyone cried, it was normal. It took a few minutes before Kyle finally took a deep breath, letting go of Kenny, and throwing himself down on the couch as he walked to the living room. "It's stupid, Ken. I'm f-fucking stupid."

Just hearing those words, Kenny knew it was either about his dad, or Stan. This time though, he really couldn't tell; in spite of that though, Kenny sat next to Kyle, ready to listen to what his friend had to say. "You're not stupid, dude. Just tell me what happened."

There was a thick silence, like Kyle was trying to decide whether or not he should actually say what was bothering him. Kyle looked only at his pale hands, a scowl now on his face, his mood seemingly flipping from sadness to anger in a second. "One of those skinheads.. said he should've been the one to kill my dad."

Of course, now Kenny was fucking furious, standing up immediately, ready to go kill the motherfucker that said such a horrible thing to his best friend, but was stopped by a hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back roughly. Kenny, despite not being angry with his friend, growled at Kyle, ignoring the tearing pain in his fist as he clenched it, preparing to break a hand to get Kyle justice. "Ky, let me go fucking kill him!"

"Ken!" Kyle yelled, much to both of their surprise, as he stood up now too, Kenny freezing where he was at the end of the couch, his handgun at his feet, where he had been thinking about picking it up. Kyle sat back down on the couch again, breathing out slowly, like a father losing patience with his child, patting the area next to him. As much as Kenny wanted to go shoot that douchebag in the face, he knew, that it wasn't morally right, and it wasn't what Kyle wanted - Kenny tended to overreact when it came to his friends, though. "I really appreciate your willingness to kill him, dude, but I just wanted to _talk_ to you."

Although Kenny really had problems controlling his emotions, a wave of guilt hit him, the feeling of being a shitty friend dragging him further, and further into the depths. If he had been alone, there would have been no coming back from that amount of guilt, but since Kyle was there, Kenny pushed it to the side, instead, focusing on listening, and giving advice. "I'm sorry, Ky." Only nodding, Kyle wiped a final tear out of his eye, understanding as he always tried. "Look, I know those guys are racist assholes, and, I think, they're just trying to find an excuse to hurt someone. Just.. don't give into what they want, and honestly, now that we're talking about it, I need to take that advice myself."

"You're right. Thanks, Ken." Being one of the smartest people Kenny knew, he was well aware that Kyle could've figured this out himself, though, sometimes, it's just better to hear it out loud from someone else. Kyle brightened up a little, glancing at the watch on his left hand as Kenny rubbed his face, nearly forgetting his piercings as his thumbs grazed his ear lobes. Also seemingly just noticing, Kyle stared at Kenny's ears, a million questions popping into his head - Kyle's brain nearly exploded as Kenny stuck his tongue out, showing off his other surprise, Kenny giggling as his friend just stared at him like a fish out of water. "What-? Wait, when-? Why-?"

Finding it amusing that Kyle couldn't decide on a question to ask, Kenny stood up, motioning Kyle to follow him into the kitchen to finish what he had been doing before, as he began explaining himself. "Well, I left school earlier after the Irish Mob thing, that you weren't there for, oh shit-" Kyle just shrugged, signaling that someone had filled him in while Kenny was gone, obviously leaving words about it, until their meeting on Saturday. "Anyways, I've wanted them for awhile, and they're hot, so why not." Kyle rolled his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the counter top, watching as Kenny opened the refrigerator door, his mouth dropping open when he saw all the alcohol as Kenny started removing them from the bags. "Oh, yeah, and I got a bunch of alcohol.. and Efrem gave me a ride home."

Obviously, everyone knew about Efrem, and who he was, yet, most of Kenny's friends were not his biggest fans - Kyle being one of them that preferred he wouldn't come around. Since they both knew that fact, Kyle didn't continue the conversation, glancing at his watch again, like he was on some sort of schedule. Kenny raised an eyebrow at his friend, who had now checked his watch for the third time in the last five minutes. When Kyle noticed Kenny's glare, his cheeks turned a little red, embarrassed that he was being so rude. "Sorry, Ken, I just thought Stan and everyone would be here by now."

Since so many things had happened today, Kenny didn't even notice that it was almost four, and that the boys (and Bebe and Wendy now) should've been there by now. Since their discussion earlier was so intense and dangerous though, Kenny was nervous that his friends were either in danger, or they just didn't want to be around him anymore. Kyle could see Kenny's slight panic, and decided to distract him by getting things set up, grabbing chips out of the kitchen, and few other things he had brought from his own house. It was kind of funny to see Kyle setting up snacks, putting the chips into bowls like a mom would do, though, that reminded Kenny that he liked the thought of Kyle being a dad some day, and hoped that he would still be around to witness that, and maybe even be an uncle.

The distraction worked though, Kenny barely noticing that another hour had passed before the boys came barging in: mainly Stan and Clyde, who were already being loud, and stupid, as always. Kyle visibly relaxed as he saw his boyfriend, pushing passed everyone else just to engulf him in a hug, which of course made everyone "awe" at them. Kenny was in the middle of rolling joints though, only smiling at Token, Tweek, Cartman, Wendy and Bebe as they came in behind Clyde and Stan silently, being the calm people of the group. His smiled faltered a little as he noticed that Craig was walking with Ruby and Stella, who Kenny had not invited, both of the girls obviously flirting with him, putting their hands on any part of his body that they could. Ruby, obviously just wanted some attention, while Stella, a girl he barely knew, had been trying to get with Craig for years. Through his jealously, Kenny could see that Craig was soaking in the attention, and praise, purely for the sake of actually _getting_ attention - not because he was into them. This was a huge parallel between Kenny and Craig, both of them always clinging to someone else when they were feeling insecure, or vulnerable. Kenny didn't get long to focus on the scene though, as Stan and Clyde came running up to him excitedly, knocking him back in his chair, as they both tackled him in a playful hug, which resulted in Kenny flinging weed everywhere, the table bouncing as his feet nicking the edge of it.

"You fucking morons!" Kenny laughed as they started to wrestle, Clyde tapping out in thirty seconds because Stan "hurt his eye", which left Stan and Kenny to be dipshits on the floor, arguing and yelling nonsense as casual punches were thrown. They got bored quickly though, picking themselves up, Stan wrapping an arm around Kenny's shoulder, beaming, mainly because he thought that he had won their random wrestling match, which was the farthest thing from the truth. Kenny and Stan often fought physically, always trying to compete against each other healthily - it never got out of hand, unlike Kenny's fights with Craig. Since they were just standing next to each other now, as Stan talked, Kenny could already smell a minimal amount of alcohol on him, which he had expected, though, it reminded him of _why_ he had gotten so much alcohol from the store, other than the fact he wanted to get drunk himself. "Hey, I got a shit ton of alcohol, dude."

With just those simple words, Stan's eyes lit up like a fire, as Kenny whipped open the fridge door, pulling out one of the pints of fireball, presenting it dramatically on the table, as if it was the Nobel prize. "Fuck yeah, Ken!" If he had been honest to Kenny in that moment, Stan would've admitted that he had totally forgotten the alcohol in his fridge this morning, only pouring enough whiskey in his flask to last throughout the day, so, he was relieved that Kenny had come through for them. Excitedly, Stan motioned everyone else over as Kenny set a shit ton of shot glasses on the table, smiling like a king, not wanting to waste any time being sober. "Shots!" Wendy and Bebe exchanged a look as everyone gathered around the table, no one moving an inch, much to Stan's dismay. "Guys, I meant _everyone_!"

Everyone, even Kyle, hesitantly picked up the full shot that was just poured in every glass, and took it down in one gulp, some of them gagging, and others just smiling as they felt the warm liquid trickle through their system. Kenny was one of the people who felt better as soon as the shot was in his system, taking down another with Stan and Clyde as everyone else dispersed, probably going to make a softer drink that would last them all night. Tweek wasn't a huge drinker, since he liked to be aware of what was happening around him, though, would have a few glasses of wine with Token every once and awhile. Knowing this, Kenny felt kind of bad that he and Stan had basically forced them to take shots, yet, at the same time, they could've refused - Kenny also had water bottles in the fridge, in case someone needed it. However, it was hard for Kenny to ignore some of the stares he was getting from his friends, (namely, Token, Tweek, Craig, and Cartman) who never really saw him be so irresponsible anymore, and, as he took his third shot of Fireball, Kenny was starting to wonder _why_ it always him having to be responsible. Why couldn't he let loose every once and awhile? Clyde pulled Kenny from his thoughts though, yelling something over the music that had somehow had been turned on with Kenny even noticing, Stan probably being the one responsible, since it was mostly rock music.

"What?" Kenny half-asked, half-yelled, astonished by the amount of noise they created in such a short amount of time. The music definitely did _not_ want to be this loud, and he really didn't want some old lady in their neighborhood trying to get the police down there. "Turn the music down!"

Kyle, being next to Stan, and the only one paying attention, rolled his eyes, and turned the music down, enough for it to just play in the background, giving Kenny a kind of sympathetic look. At first, he didn't understand exactly why Kyle had given him that look, until he glanced over to the corner of the living room, where Craig was smoking with Stella, who was sat on his lap, wiggling her hips around. The only reaction Kenny could muster as Kyle looked back at him sadly, was to fill up another shot, and gulp it back, as he only stared at the confusing situation, scrunching his eyebrows as Craig just enjoyed what was happening as he sipped out of his own whiskey bottle. Usually, Kenny would've been surprised that Kyle even felt bad for him over that, since he didn't even _like_ Craig, and Kyle didn't know the entire situation. Wendy moved in next to him as Bebe sat with Clyde, picking up the entire bottle, of Fireball, chugging for a straight minute as Kenny stared in awe, utterly impressed that _anyone_ could drink that much whiskey at once. She set the bottle down with ease, smiling casually at the impressed boy next to her, acting as if she was oblivious to what she just did. To her, it really wasn't a big deal.

"So, Ken," Wendy started, remembering the reason she had wandered over to Kenny in the first place. The two hadn't interacted much lately, even though they didn't have a problem with each other, they were just never given the opportunity to be friends. She had noticed Kenny looking upset by the fact that Stella and Ruby were all over Craig, and, although she didn't know much about their friendship, she could still see there was _something_. "Craig bothering you?"

To stop himself from having an outburst of anxiety and surprise, Kenny grabbed the bottle Wendy had just set down at the table, and chugged it for as long as he could, not being able to do it as long as Wendy had. Just as he was about to ask her a million questions, Stan sat down next to him, handing him a blunt as Kyle sat on his lap, looking pissed, probably over the fact that Stan was already very drunk, and loud. Kenny took it, inhaling the smoke deeply as he rolled his eyes at them, his gaze now shifting over to Craig, who was now walking into the kitchen, whispering too closely in Stella's ear, while side-glancing at Kenny. Trying not to make it obvious to anyone else, Kenny motioned with a slight head nod, for Wendy to follow him to the living room, where Cartman, Tweek, and Token were talking quietly, Token and Tweek sipping lightly on some wine while Cartman stuck to water - not being much of a drinker since what happened last time, but that was a story for a different time. Kenny was not sober enough to think about it at the moment, anyways.

Now, able to have a private conversation, Kenny was anxious to get some shit out, that he felt like she could understand. He was even more appreciative of her presence when he saw that Wendy had grabbed the whiskey off the counter. "So, first, thanks for grabbing the whiskey," Wendy nodded, handing him the bottle, which he happily grabbed, taking a long swig before continuing. All Kenny needed tonight, was liquid courage, weed, and no fucks given - so far, only two of those things were in his grasp. "Secondly, Craig is.. frustrating."

There was a long pause as Wendy took another drink, and Kenny started to really feel the alcohol in his system as she did this, his anxiousness, and anger relaxing as a calming heat spread through his cheeks, and down through his arms. Through the process, he noticed that Wendy was staring at someone else, in the same longing way he had been staring at Craig; Bebe was sitting on Clyde's lap in the kitchen, as he smoked with Stan, and Kyle - it was obvious that she was _not_ staring at Clyde. As soon as she seemed to realize what she was doing, Wendy snapped her attention back to Kenny, her cheeks slightly red now, too, but Kenny couldn't tell whether it was from the alcohol, or from Bebe. "Uh, yeah, I noticed you're kind of into him."

Although that was _kind of_ true, it wasn't the whole truth. It was difficult to explain to someone that wasn't in his head, but if anyone was going to understand the situation, it was Wendy, since she obviously felt a little something for her best friend. "I wouldn't say I'm into him.. I just-" Kenny cut himself off, gulping down more alcohol as he attempted to force out words he hadn't exactly said out loud yet. It probably wasn't as big of a deal as he was making it, but, because it was Craig of all people, Kenny was making it a big deal. "I just want him. I guess. I don't know."

Wendy nodded understandingly, raising the bottle above her head, in a "cheers" type of manner. "Well, I feel that way about you-know-who, so, cheers to us tonight!"

Her words may have been a little confusing, from the amount of alcohol now settled in both their systems, yet, Kenny knew exactly what she was trying to say. He put his hand on the bottle, since he didn't have another bottle to lift, and smiled widely with her, ready to dedicate himself to getting fucked up. "Cheers, to the fucking singles!"

Cartman, Tweek and Token watched in amusement as their two drunk friends took turns drinking out of a huge bottle, giggling wildly when Wendy almost spilled the entire thing on herself. Sometimes, going to a party and watching other people drink, was more fun than getting drunk - at least, that's how Kyle, Cartman, and Token felt, and, right now, their preference was holding. Even Tweek was finding it hilarious, doubling over with laughter in his spot on Kenny's couch, giving himself the hiccups.

Since Kenny and Wendy were wrapped up in getting each other drunk and stupid, they didn't notice that Clyde and Bebe had slipped upstairs, locking themselves in Kevin's room without permission, which Kenny would definitely be mad at him for. Sure, a major reason this party was taking place, was to get Clyde laid, still, he needed to ask for permission to get laid in someone else's room, especially Kevin's room, that didn't deserve to be tainted, really. Craig decided not to mention it to Kenny at the moment anyways, since it was obvious he was having fun, dancing and singing with Wendy, for Token, Tweek, and Cartman's entertainment. Now, though, Craig couldn't help, but to stare as Kenny moved his hips stupidly to the random song playing over the speakers, his jacket now laid on the floor as he head banged incorrectly to the beat of the song, manic laughter filling the room as Wendy noticed what he was doing. He had become so focused on the way that Kenny was moving, that Craig didn't notice that Stella had went outside with Ruby, and he was on his seventh shot of Jack; Kenny was the only person who could distract him this much, with such sinful thoughts. It was true that he had asked Ruby and Stella to come, to distract himself, and possibly - only possibly - make Kenny jealous, though, Craig didn't want that to be obvious.

When people have a certain amount of alcohol, their judgement tends to fly out the window, which is exactly what Kenny's did, as he finished the rest of the pint, and noticed Craig staring from across the room. In Kenny's state, he thought this was a perfect opportunity to harmlessly flirt as much as possible, he wouldn't have to worry about it until the morning, right? Besides, it would be worth it just to see the stupid look on Craig's face.

Leaving Wendy to dance with Tweek, Cartman and Token, Kenny walked - more like stumbled - towards Craig, trying to look his best. What most drunk people always failed to realize, was that they never looked good, no matter how hard they tried; anyone under the influence isn't looking their most attractive, but the fact that they were attracted to each other in general, was overpowering by itself. Kyle was next to Craig at the dining room table, panicking to himself as Kenny approached Craig, stealing the joint from his hand, seductively exhaling the smoke, while obvious looking Craig up and down. Unfortunately, everyone sober was too far away for Kyle to share his panic, so, he did something that he would've preferred not to do, and, almost, literally dragged Kenny out to the backdoor. It was something he never wanted to do to any of his friends, but, Kenny and Craig were both drunk, and Kyle was not about to let them ruin a friendship just because they were drunk. He wasn't oblivious to their shared interest in each other, however, a part isn't a good place to reveal repressed feelings.

Kenny, was _not_ happy with what was happening. He sat down on the bottom step harshly, the whole deck shaking as Kenny sat with his arms crossed over his chest like a pouting child, refusing to even look at Kyle. Tired, and regretful, himself, Kyle sighed, praying that someone else would help him, though, that was a lot to ask for considering what was going on inside; he was going to have to get through to Kenny himself, which was going to be hard in the state he was in. "Ken," Kyle started lightly, sitting down with his best friend like it was a normal, sober day, throwing an arm around him. "What were you gonna do with Craig?"

"Dude," Kenny slurred a little, attempting to wiggle himself out of Kyle's grip. It was obvious that Kenny was annoyed, on the other hand though, he seemed unsure of something. "Y-You know, like, more than anyone that I've _wanted_ Craig. I was goin' for it."

It was true, Kyle was more than aware of their "thing" for each other, on the other hand, Kyle was also aware about Craig's feelings for Tweek, and Kenny's sudden interest in the new kid. There wasn't a lot that Kyle was oblivious to, and maybe he didn't know everything, but he knew enough to know this wasn't good for either of them. "Okay, but is that something you want to do _right now_?"

Seemingly confused by the question, Kenny tilted his head to the side, taking a hit from the joint that Kyle didn't even realize he still had. Kenny was always finding some way to smoke, whether it was cigarettes, or weed. "W-What do you mean?"

Kyle was trying to be patient, he really was, but he had been trying to take care of everyone tonight, and it was making him feel like choking Kenny out. Instead of exploding like he really, really wanted to, Kyle snatched the joint out of Kenny's hand before explaining himself. "Will you regret it in the morning?" Not thinking about it for even five seconds, Kenny shook his head, confirming that he was sure of what he wanted. The thoughts of that new kid swarmed into Kyle's mind again, and he reached for Kenny as he stood up to go inside, thinking the conversation was over, pulling him down to ask one more thing. "What about.. that new kid?"

There was a dark, empty look in Kenny's eyes as Kyle asked this, a shudder going down his spine as Kenny got completely sober for a second; it wasn't the type of sober Kyle would've liked though - no, it was the scary type of sober that made Kenny relive every bad feelings he had ever felt, all at once. Kyle simple dropped his hand in shock, and maybe in a little bit of fear, as Kenny snapped back to normal suddenly, only shrugging before throwing open the backdoor, making a dramatic re-entrance. Just from that small mention, Kyle decided to never bring up the new kid again, unless Kenny brought him up first. Just the mention of the new kid, had crumpled Kenny, and Kyle determined he never wanted to see his friend like that again.

Inside now, and somewhat aware of what was going on, Kenny scanned the kitchen for Craig, wanting to try to make a move on him again, only coming up short, and finding Stan sitting alone on his phone. Everyone else was in the living room, playing some game that Kenny couldn't really name at the moment, Stan, Kyle and him being the only ones who weren't participating. Kenny pulled out the chair next to Stan, snapping him from whatever he had been on his phone, a loopy smile on his face. There were two types of drunk Stan's - overly happy Stan, and depressed Stan; thankfully, for all of them, depressed Stan was not making an appearance at the moment. Relaxing himself against the chair now, Kenny realized that, yeah, he was pretty drunk, though he wasn't to the point of doing something overly embarrassing.

"Ken!" Snapping his head to the excitingly familiar voice, Kenny looked up to find Craig, waving at him from his spot on the cough between Ruby and Stella, his cheeks a red tint from the amount of alcohol in his system. Since he wasn't even sure what they were playing in there, or what Craig even called him for, Kenny exchanged a drunkenly confused look with Stan, who wasn't helpful at all, only shrugging while taking another sip from his flask. He was definitely too drunk to even comprehend what was happening, not that Kenny minded, though.

Since Kyle was outside, and Stan was blasted, Kenny had to decide what to do on his own. His thoughts weren't really making sense though, everything in him telling him to go over to Craig, and do whatever the fuck he wanted him to do, while his other thoughts questioned how the hell he was in the kitchen in the first place. Giving up rather quickly, Kenny shrugged to himself, picking up a bottle of whatever was closest to him, walking over to the empty spot on one of his couches, next to Wendy, who was leading a game of Charades, not even noticing Kenny's appearance. Actually, since most of them were wrapped up in the game, Token trying to get the members on his team to guess what he was, only Craig acknowledged his presence, smirking at him as Kenny drank more, not breaking eye contact.

"Ken!" Wendy threw his arms around Kenny, as she finally noticed that he was next to her, knocking both of them over. Kenny laughed along with her though, falling to the floor with a thump as the game paused, probably to watch the two drunk people laughing their asses off on the ground. Since she was the one who knocked Kenny over, she pushed herself up, offering him a hand, which he accepted as best as he could, stumbling a little as he tried to stand up.

Token, who was a little buzzed himself, looked like he was over playing Charades, now focused on Kenny, and the fact that they hadn't seen him for quite a few minutes. "Where were you, man?"

As if on cue, the back door opened, Kyle walking in with his head down, and his hands stuffed in his pockets, not even noticing how quiet the house was. Kenny motioned to him, smiling cheekily. "I was with Ky outside."

Stealing a glance at Craig, Kenny could see that he now seemed interested in the conversation, ignoring the two girls around him, like they weren't even there. In fact, now, Craig was getting up, and walking to where Kenny was sitting, plopping down on the other side of him casually, as if it wasn't a big deal, when in fact, it was a _huge_ deal. Apparently everyone thought so too, everyone now staring at the pair as they just stared back at their friends, pretending not to notice a single thing. Conversations started up though after a moment, much to the relief of Kenny and Craig, who wanted to keep pretending as if nothing was happening - it was just better that way.

With alcohol in his system, Kenny was even more confident than he was normally, even though he had a pretty healthy level of confidence when it came to flirting. Everyone was wrapped up with their own conversations, which was a comfort to Kenny, as he turned towards Craig now, feeling good enough to talk to him face-to-face about the shit that was going on between them. Instead of finding of relaxed, and drunk Craig, once again, Kenny found him scowling, his arms crossed over his chest as their eyes connected, the dullness that's always in his expression back, like he hadn't been drinking for hours. It kind of irked Kenny, remembering that just a few _seconds_ ago, Craig had basically been begging him to pay attention to him.

As the blank expression remained sternly, Kenny couldn't help, but get kind of angry, setting his bottle down on the table in front of him with a thud. The loud noise was enough for Craig to actually _see_ him, and blink, still not getting a concrete reaction; he had enough though, growling lowly as Craig only winked, his mouth twitching up in a smirk, as it always did when he trying to get on Kenny's nerves. "Tucker," Kenny whispered under his breath harshly, glaring as best as he could mange at the moment, still very drunk. "Stop being an asshole."

Unfazed by Kenny's harshness, Craig only smirked more, suddenly grabbing Kenny's knee, squeezing as hard as he possibly could. Since that spot was ticklish, and sensitive, Kenny let out a yelp, attempting to pry the hand from his knee, only failing from the state he was in. Craig only shrugged at Kenny's homicidal stare, squeezing harder. "Only if you stop being a douchebag, McCormick."

Again and again, Craig had called Kenny by his last name, knowing that it always pissed him off, since he absolutely hated what his parents had done to their name. Kenny was seething with anger now, ripping Craig's hand away from his knee and grabbing at the collar of his shirt, in one swift movement. Trying not to pay attention to how close they were, Kenny mumbled out his angry words, not wanting to bring attention to one of their fights, again. "Don't fucking call me that, or I'll kick the shit out of your useless body."

Everyone had heard the last bits on their conversation, and were now staring at them, afraid of what was going to happen next. What Kenny said, could've been seen as intense, but they often said that to each other, for little, to no reason - this time wasn't any different. The only difference between their usual fights, was Craig's lack of a comeback right away, the dark haired boy just staring at his douchebag friend, his face filled with a mix between anger, and something none of them had ever seen before. As if snapping out of trance though, Craig grabbed Kenny's wrist harshly, his nails digging into the skin, hard enough to draw blood, leading him up the stairs, practically dragging up the stairs. Kenny, not completely in tune with his thoughts, was absolutely prepared to have a physical fight with Craig while everyone just hung out downstairs, still having a good time, though, as Craig opened Kenny's room, and pushed him in, Kenny's mind went somewhere else.

As Kenny stood in the middle of his room, while Craig still stood at the closed door, he waited with his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for a punch, or, at least, some words. Craig approached Kenny slowly, anger only written on his face as he grabbed Kenny's hoodie roughly, staring at him with a poisonous smile. "I'm sick of your _fucking_ mouth, Ken, and I'm fucking sick of _you_."

All the words did, was just cause the lightly burning pit of anger in his stomach, to turn into pure, burning rage. Kenny tried to push back, which only resulted in Craig's back hitting the bedroom door, a position they had been in before, though, not aligning with what Kenny had wanted to do. Now in a weird position, Kenny struggled to hold onto his rage, getting a little distracted by the grey-blue of Craig's eyes, remembering in an instant why he was pissed, in the first place. "Then why the hell are you even here? So desperate for me to be friends with _you_?"

Everything just boiled over in that moment - the constant fighting, the anger, and the hatred they had for each other, causing Craig to crash they're lips together harshly, his right hand grasping tightly at the loose blonde locks of Kenny's head. It took a second for Kenny to even realize what was happening, and, as soon as it registered, he pressed Craig against the door, kissing him back desperately. The pent up want that they had for each other, for so long, was bursting at the seams, quite literally, as Kenny slid his hands up the hem of Craig's shirt, his hands exploring his torso, they're pants, and hungry moans filling the room lightly. Craig was starting to brush his tongue against Kenny's bottom lip, eager to dominant him in any way that he could in his compromising position, though, Kenny refused to open his mouth, not giving an inch to Craig - for now.

Deciding that he had enough of waiting, Kenny pulled them back from the door, pushing Craig onto the bed as soon as he felt they were near, hovering over him as he started to bite down the side of his neck, grinding against Craig's leg as he continued, licking every inch of his skin that he could. The world shifted for Kenny as Craig pushed him over, climbing on top of him confidentially, smirking down at the blonde boy that he had _craved_ for so long; and he was finally about to taste him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I enjoyed writing this chapter


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this entire story, since I felt like it was superrr necessary, and the biggest changes are in the last three chapters (mainly last chapter). They're not major changes, but if you want to, go back and read it :)
> 
> My goal, for right now, is to update at least two times a week, sometimes it might just be once a week, but im really aiming towards twice a week!

More than anything, _anything_ , Kenny hated waking up with a hangover. The headache was so intense, and splitting, he couldn't even open his eyes for more than five seconds. What didn't help, was the fact that he had forgotten to close his blinds the night before, the sun beating down on his face as he attempted to open his eyes. Basically, he was not the happiest person right now, and the sudden movement next to him in bed, also wasn't helping. In fact, it scared him so much, Kenny fell out of his bed, his ass hitting the floor with a loud _thump_ , that he was sure the entire house had heard. To make things even worse, when he finally did get the courage to open his eyes, and see who had moved next to him, Kenny found it was a very naked Craig in his bed.

 _What the fuck did I do?_ Kenny thought to himself, panicking as he took in the sight of his room: their clothes were scattered all over the floor, burnt out blunts randomly thrown around, and multiple condom wrappers were next to the bed. Still very hungover and confused by everything, Kenny stood up carefully, shakily scanning the boy that was in his bed, still completely knocked out. Craig looked peaceful, though, his neck and chest were littered with hickeys, the dark of the bruises standing out against his pale skin. This wasn't actually supposed to happen, even if Kenny had thought about it quite a bit, it wasn't what he wanted for their friendship - yet, the thing bothering him the most, was the fact that he didn't remember anything, beyond flashes. Kenny like he should've been regretful, however, not a single part of him felt like that. Either way, before Craig woke up, Kenny had to get out of his room, he didn't want to talk to Craig at the moment, embarrassment, and guilt, being the main reasons he couldn't face him right now. What would he even say to him now after this, anyways? If Craig didn't remember anything, Kenny wouldn't have to worry, and he could just act like nothing happened, however, if he did remember, then Kenny was just fucked.

After successfully putting on clothes, and sneaking out of his room, Kenny carefully made his way down the stairs, rubbing his eyes as he did so, to wake himself up a bit more. The more his eyes focused, though, the more his head hurt - his hangover wasn't the only thing hurting his head now, as the rooms of his house came into focus, revealing to Kenny, that he would be cleaning up most of the day. Thankfully, Kenny wasn't alone though, as he noticed Stan and Kyle sleeping on the couch, while Wendy slept on the other with Token. Not that they were necessarily sleeping together, just near each other, which made sense considering Kenny was pretty sure that Wendy was gay. After chugging all of that Fireball with Wendy last night, Kenny couldn't really remember much, other than Kyle taking him outside, and yelling at him for some reason; beyond that, no memory was definite. Even though he couldn't remember why he and Kyle had an argument, Kenny felt that he should give him some air, and just stick to curing his hangover, tiptoeing passed the living room, careful not to draw the attention of anyone awake.

For whatever reason, there was already a fresh cup of coffee brewed, and a mug sitting next to the pot. It was like one of the boys - or girls - was trying to take care of him, even though he had probably been nothing, but a headache last night. It could've been Kyle, Token, Tweek, or even Clyde; he really couldn't sure where everyone had ended up after he went upstairs with Craig. Kenny decided not to question it too much though, just thankful that caffeine was so readily available, and that no one was trying to speak to him. To possibly, and hopefully, avoid Craig, or anyone else for that matter, Kenny grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, and swiped the cigarette pack from the counter, not really caring whose it was at that moment, since it had been left on the counter, anyways, walking quickly towards the backyard. The cool breeze was refreshing to Kenny as he opened the backdoor, already sticking the random cigarette between his lips, desperate to calm the pounding in his head, and stop his anxious thoughts. Instead of his thoughts being about his failures, it was about his future friendship with Craig, and how it could possibly hurt their friend group. Maybe, if he just came clean to them about it, they would react better, or, maybe, he wouldn't even have to say anything if the naked boy in his bed, didn't remember what happened. Now that he was thinking a little bit clearer though, Kenny realized he should've cleaned his room a bit, since Craig was very observant, realizing that he was bound to notice .

Just as Kenny was finally starting to feel a little better, hydrating himself, and refreshing his mind with coffee and a cigarettes, the back door slammed open. Refusing to turn around though, in fear that it was Craig, Kenny stayed still, his eyes wide as he only stared at the ground, not even breathing, waiting for someone to either hit him, or yell at him. Catching the sight of red hair in his peripheral vision as the person sat next to him, Kenny relaxed, realizing that it was only Kyle who had come out. Even if it was just Kyle, Kenny felt as if he should wait to be spoken to first, since he was missing large parts of what happened the night before. In a split second, however, Kenny decided not bring up Craig, unless Kyle brought him up first - Kenny assumed that their fight was about Craig, or at least related to him.

"Ken," Kyle started slowly, stretching in his spot, obviously just waking up from spending the entire night with Stan, probably taking care of him. Kenny wouldn't have been surprised if Stan ended up drinking too much, again, which he did too often now, the end of his party nights, often spent huddled over a toilet bowl while Kyle fed him bread and water. Clearing his throat suddenly, probably trying to get Kenny to acknowledge him, which made Kenny glance at him, surprised when he saw Kyle smiling softly. "How are you?"

A little taken back from Kyle's relaxed behavior, Kenny blinked at him for a moment, before thinking about his answer. Kenny's stomach swirled at the thoughts, his insides threatening to become his outsides if he thought about Craig, and what happened between them, for a second more. "Um.." Trying to make it seem like everything was completely normal, Kenny shrugged halfheartedly, motioning to the water in his hand. "Obviously a little hungover."

Kyle nodded along for a second, still convincing Kenny that everything was cool. In a flash though, once he knew he could catch Kenny off guard, Kyle's relaxed look snapped to a glare, his fist clenching around the wood of the porch, the knuckles turning a bright white. He bared his teeth a Kenny, his usual bright eyes dark with a look that Kenny could only describe as disappointment. "Are you seriously going to fucking act like nothing happened?"

Although the harshness of his voice upset Kenny, he ultimately knew that Kyle was right, and that he shouldn't have even been attempting to lie to his best friend. "You're right," Kyle sighed next to him, relieved that his friend was beginning to understand that it was okay to be wrong sometimes. Kenny continued though, still unaware of exactly what the red head was referring to. "but, my memory is really spotty. I actually need to know everything that happened."

Since Kyle was only used to seeing Stan _that_ drunk, it took him a second to realize what his friend had meant exactly. It was surprising to him that Kenny didn't remember a whole lot, since that wasn't even the most wasted he had been, though, the genuine fear in Kenny's eyes, made Kyle believe him. Considering that he hadn't had more than a shot last night, Kyle remembered everything that went on with everyone - some of it, was definitely going to make Kenny at least kind of angry, though, he would just have to deal with it. "Well, what _do_ you remember?"

Thinking back as hard as he could, Kenny scowling once he realized his memory cut off when he was dancing with Wendy. It wasn't exactly normal for Kenny's memory to fail him when he drank, so, naturally, he was pretty frustrated by the circumstances, rubbing his temples out of annoyance. "The last thing I remember, not clearly though, was you taking me outside. I know we kind of argued, but I can't remember what we argued about, exactly."

There was a slightly tense aura, as Kenny brought up what Kyle was hoping, he wouldn't remember. It wasn't that he felt what he did was wrong, he was just embarrassed that it didn't _work_ , since, in the end, Craig and Kenny hooked up anyways. In a weird way, Kyle felt he failed his best friend. "Ken," Kyle shook his head, mostly at himself, as he pulled out a joint, lighting it up before he continued. "It doesn't matter now, really, but I'll tell you anyways." Kenny held his breath in anticipation as Kyle took a long hit, obviously struggling with something. "I was trying to tell you not to sleep with Craig because you'd regret in the morning, but you were so _sure_ , that I just couldn't talk you out of it."

Embarrassed for the way he had behaved, Kenny slapped his forehead, just wanting to disappear. He just felt stupid for not listening to his friend, and getting so drunk, that he couldn't make a conscious decision. Kyle had just been trying to be his voice of reason, and Kenny had blown him off, like a shitty friend. "Ky, I'm so sorry. I really didn't plan on getting so hammered, and being an asshole." Kyle only nodded silently, inhaling more of the weed wrapped tightly in the rolling paper, the THC relaxing the anxiety he had before talking to Kenny. "I don't regret what happened with Craig, though."

As soon as Kyle heard this, he immediately started coughing violently, grasping at his chest like he was having a heart attack, trying to breath through the burning pain spreading through his lungs. After a second of just coughing, and Kenny staring at him in panic, Kyle was able to catch his breath, still wheezing a little as started to speak: "W-What?!"

Still a little red in the face from his admittance, Kenny looked the opposite way of where Kyle was. In the past, when Kenny had slept with someone, he either never said anything about it, or told the person it would never happen again - this time was different, since Kenny basically admitted out loud, that he wanted it to continue. "It's, uh, hard to explain."

Throw his hands up in annoyance, and a bit of shock, Kyle huffed, his sass coming out a little more than he intended: " _Just_ explain it, Kenny."

"Well," Kenny started, folding his hands together patiently, trying to keep his temper under control. He understood why Kyle was upset, yet, at the same time, he didn't like being talked to like that, when the topic was sensitive. Still, Kenny kept his composure, now hell-bent on making him understand his view on the situation. "I know, that you know, I've wanted Craig for a long time. I regret that it happened the way it did, however, I'm glad it happened." Kyle didn't say anything as Kenny finished, only flicking some ash off of the end of his joint. "I know he has feelings for Tweek, and I.. but, if he's not ready to admit his feelings, I'm okay with just screwing around - I'm even okay with acting like the whole thing didn't happen. I don't know if that even makes sense, I'm just okay with doing what's best for Craig."

Although, Kyle appreciated how thoughtful his friend was being, there were still things that he wasn't understanding about Kenny, especially the way he was jumping from emotion, to emotion, lately. "Kenny," Kyle passed him the joint as he said this, trying to ease the tense atmosphere that had somehow taken a hold on their conversation. "I brought up the new kid last night, and you had a really weird reaction. Do you want to talk about it?"

Since Kenny's memory was lacking in the subject of Kyle's and his "discussion", Kenny didn't even remember that Butters was brought up. "I don't even remember that." Guessing how he reacted though, Kenny predicted that the conversation probably took an uncomfortable tone, since the topic of Butters in general, was uncomfortable, and distressing for him. "I know that I probably had a weird reaction. I just-"

"Wait," Kyle cut Kenny off abruptly, much to both of their surprise. Despite the interjection, Kyle continued with the important statement: "If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to."

Appreciating the fact that Kyle cared enough to consider his sensitivity, Kenny smiled lightly, shaking his head. "Honestly, I can't explain it well. Leo is just _different_ , and I guess I kind of like him." Getting excited by the fact that his friend actually had feelings for someone, Kyle brightened up, a wide smile cutting into his face, though, Kenny disrupted the happiness, explaining further: "I can't be with him though, Ky. He's so pure, sweet, and innocent - I can't ruin him.."

Sensing that Kenny just wanted to end the conversation now, Kyle sighed heavily, wishing that he would just accept good things. Whenever there was something good that presented itself in front of Kenny, he ignored it, thinking he didn't deserve it, when, in fact, he deserved it more than anyone. Since Kyle could remember, Kenny had the hardest life; from the moment he was born, or maybe from the time Kevin was born too, Kenny's parents subjected him and his siblings into a life of abuse, and drug use, never given a chance to explore normal childhood. Sure, at some points, he was somewhat normal, however, there was always something that set Kenny aside from everyone else - his struggles of surviving. As South Park changed, Kyle really started to understand some of the things Kenny went through, as his father was killed, and his mom started to abuse prescription pills too much (which he hadn't mentioned to anyone), he saw that anyone could experience what Kenny had, with just minor tinkering in a normal life. As much as Kyle wanted normality for Kenny, he knew, that with everything he had already been through, within the seventeen years he had been alive, nothing would ever be normal for him.

Though Kyle didn't have anything more to say about the subject, he still had more to say about the rest of the night. "So, about the rest of last night.." Kenny was now very interested, passing the joint to Kyle as soon as he heard those words, remembering that he wanted to know everything from last night, before their conversation strayed. "Uh, Clyde and Bebe went up to Kevin's room, and we didn't see them for the rest of the night, I actually think they're still in there. Then, Wendy got even more hammered and passed out, after you fought with Craig, and went upstairs-"

"Wait," Cutting Kyle off suddenly, which he wouldn't usually do, Kenny was surprised by the mention of a fight, that he didn't even know occurred. "I fought with Craig? Over what?"

Being in the kitchen at the time of this "fight" taking place, Kyle shrugged, honestly not having a clue of what went on. He had been too busy trying to get his boyfriend to drink water, only knowing that they were arguing by the angry look on both of their faces. "Dude, I don't know what the context was, but I could tell you guys were heated over something, and then you just went upstairs with him. You'll have to ask Craig what it was about."

Forgetting about what happened with Craig for quite a few minutes, Kenny's eye widened at the reminder that he had sex with one of his best friends last night, his skin crawling with a mixture of fear, and doubt. Just a few minutes ago, he had been so sure that he was okay with continuing whatever was going on, but the reminded that they probably only hooked up because they were drunk and fighting, left Kenny feeling regretful, and scared. "Actually, I'd rather avoid him for the moment."

Remembering Kenny's words from earlier, baffled Kyle a bit, his mind not understanding how he was okay with it, while at the same time, wanting to avoid it. Kyle scrunched his eyebrows together as he looked at Kenny's shaky form, the hand attempting to light his cigarette, struggling to stay in one place. "What? Why?"

"Unless he brings it up," Kenny started, taking the joint from Kyle again, desperate to feel a little high, as he held his cigarette in the other hand. "I don't want to."

Sensing that this was the end of their conversation for good this time, Kyle stayed silent, not wanting to bring up more from last night. There were minor things that happened, such as Token walking Tweek home because he had an anxiety attack over something unknown, and Cartman being called by his mother; however, Kyle didn't see those minor things as vastly important at the moment, especially since Kenny was still having a hard time coping with the fact that he had _actually_ fucked Craig - Kenny deserved at least a day to sort out his personal shit, before being bombarded with more problems. Between Clyde ad Craig both passed out in his house, Kyle was able to understand that there might be more important things to stress about, than whether or not Kenny needed to know about the minor problems.

Being overwhelmed with the things that had taken place within the last twenty four hours, Kenny stood up suddenly, desperate to get more coffee in his system. In the kitchen now, Kenny tried to move as fast as possible, still wanting to avoid Craig, and the hundreds of question that remained between the two of them - Kenny was not ready to face the reality that, maybe, his friendship would _have_ to be over with Craig, for the sake of the group. Just before Kenny could escape to outside, where he felt safe from all of his worries, a muffled voice called out to him, that Kenny could only recognize as Stan's, coming from the living room. From the little information that Kyle had given, Kenny could still conclude that Stan got so shit-faced, they had to stay the night on the couch. Usually, Kyle could get Stan back to his place, Randy always being passed out by ten, and he only lived a few house away, however, the fact that Kyle couldn't even get Stan back to his house, was quite alarming to Kenny. Since Sharon left with Shelley about year ago, Stan preferred not to be sober, his thoughts constantly blaming him for his parents' marriage's demise. Last night, though, seemed to be one of the worst nights he had in awhile, and Kenny made note of this, promising to himself that they would talk about it later.

As Kenny found himself safely in the back yard again, he noticed someone walking into the kitchen now, moving around at the speed of a tortoise, trying to find a cure for their hangover, probably. Squinting through the blinds best as he could, Kenny stopped breathing as he saw the last person he wanted to see: Craig. Freezing as he saw the familiar hickeys on his friend's neck, Kenny only looked once at Kyle, as he tried to decide what to do. Honestly, he would've rather just hid in his room all day, while the other part of him would rather face his fears - ultimately, Kenny found himself running towards the fencing that surrounded his backyard, jumping it, just to avoid even making a decision about what to do. This option, probably wasn't the best one, but Kenny panicked, and now he knew that he just dug himself into a deeper hole.

After a few minutes, Kenny realized that he was still running, when he didn't need to, the panicked bending over at his spot on the sidewalk, breathing heavily. He knew that he kind of fucked up; Kyle and Craig were _not_ going to be happy that Kenny had bailed, especially since they knew, that he knew better than to pull that shit. Despite knowing, and understanding, all of those facts, Kenny kept walking, pulling his hood up, tightening the strings as he noticed the air was kind of chilly, biting at his previously exposed ears. Deciding silently to himself that he would only be gone for about an hour at the most, Kenny walked towards the little corner store that was a few blocks away from his house, thinking that it was a good idea to pick up some coffees, and a few groceries for the week. If he was going to show up against after bailing, he felt like he owed them more than an apology, grabbing Craig's, Kyle's, Stan's, and Clyde's favorite snacks.

For a Saturday afternoon, the corner stone was mostly empty, only one other person being in there besides Kenny, and the stoned cashier. Kenny couldn't be sure what this guy was always stoned on, but, unfortunately, he could tell that it wasn't weed, from how emotionless, and slow the guy was. Scowling at the drinks in front of him, Kenny thought about how he used to have a goal to stop this type of stuff, get drugs off the street, and set people free from their addictions. _What happened to me? I used to care, and now I'm just numb._ Kenny detestably thought to himself as he opened the freezer door, grabbing some energy drinks, throwing them harshly into the basket that was grasped in his right hand. The only other person was now just a few doors away from him, oddly still as they stared at the freezer doors - it was if they were trying not to get noticed by Kenny, specifically. There was something familiar about the small frame, and the way that the person was pressing their hands together anxiously. As everything started to connect in Kenny's still hungover brain, he let out a tiny gasp, a noise he didn't even know he could make, as he realized it was Butters next to him, trying his best to avoid Kenny, again.

Knowing that Butters didn't want anything to do with him, he only stood there, staring at his shoes. Just yesterday, Kenny had been determined to make Butters like him, yet, today, Kenny felt ashamed for tying to force a friendship, on someone who was obviously scared of him; at the same time, painfully, all Kenny wanted to do, was hug the small boy next to him, and ask him every question he could think of. Much to both of their surprise, Kenny turned the other way, walking towards the front counter. The high cashier started to scan his many items as Kenny felt Butters approach from behind, waiting silently to buy whatever he had grabbed. Physically biting his tongue to keep from bothering the small boy behind him, Kenny handed the cashier money without a word, anxious to get out of the store, and away from the guilt, and want, and a type of sadness, that seemed to envelop itself tightly around him whenever Butters was there. Finally, relieving the tension in his back, the cashier handed Kenny his bags, prompting the boy to walk quickly out of the small push door, not even attempting to glance back at the only person he could see himself with.

Not sure on where to go now, Kenny looked between his bags, and the direction of his house, trying to decide whether he should just go home, or go somewhere for awhile. The encounter with Butters had distracted his mind from the conversations, he knew he would be having later - maybe, it would be better just to wing it, like he always did, however, his talk with Craig was going to be one of the most sensitive talks he'd ever have. It was probably better to not go off a script when it came to being sincere, yet, at the moment, if Craig was in front of him, Kenny would have no idea what to say.

"Um.." The soft voice coming from him suddenly, made Kenny jump in the spot that he had been standing in for awhile. Turning slowly, Kenny first was shocked to see Butters standing behind him, and then, he noticed that Butters had a large bruise on his right eye, and a busted lip, his rage boiling inside him immediately. Before Kenny could even get out one word though, Butters lifted his soft, and fragile, eyes to Kenny's, for the first time since in awhile. "A-Are you okay?"

Although Kenny's happiness was boiling over inside of him, it was put on pause, as his frustration seeped out a little. Butters went from caring for Kenny, to hating him, and now, apparently, he was back to caring - it was confusing for Kenny, and he really didn't like to be toyed with like this. He glared a little at the small boy taking innocently in front of him, his words having venom behind them: "Why do _you_ care?"

Flinching at the tone, Butters folded his arms over his chest, attempting to glare back at Kenny. "I-I don't."

Slapping his forehead, which gave him a headache right away, Kenny groaned, now just tired. He was beginning to understand how his friends were feeling about his back, and forth emotions, since Butters was doing the exact same thing to him. "Look, Butters, if you hate me so much, and don't care about me, why did you even ask? I just wanted to be friends with you, or at least introduce you to my friends, but, for whatever reason, you decided to just hate me, without knowing me." Butters stayed silent as Kenny finished ranting, only scowling at the ground. Kenny was fed up at the moment, since Butters caught him at a bad time anyways. "You know.. I don't care anymore. See ya'."

Turning on his heel, marching off towards his street, Kenny couldn't help to feel at least a little bad for the way things just went down; he was just so sick of being a yo-yo for everyone in his life, every single person he was involved with, playing with his emotions like he was fucking doll, and not a person. Maybe, his words got through to Butters, and he would be able to give him some friends, but between his feelings for him, and his hook-up with Craig, Kenny couldn't handle be around him. Since he did actually have feelings for Butters, Kenny considered that it was possible he felt some sort of guilt, for sleeping with someone else, even though Butters didn't like him that way, or even want to be his friend. Trying to get passed his upset feelings for the moment, Kenny continued onto his house, only being about a block away now. Unfortunately, this meant he was getting closer, and closer to having to talk with Craig, and probably apologize to Kyle. Kenny kind of felt like a douchebag, and maybe, he was slowly becoming one without even realizing.

Kyle, of course, was waiting on the front porch, looking as if he was repeatably calling someone. Kenny squinted for a second, before feeling for his phone, realizing that he had left it in his room this morning, and Kyle had been calling him the entire time he was gone. Noticing his friend from a distance now, Kyle stood up, angrily, as Kenny only looked at the ground, trying to ignore the pounding glare he was receiving - even though he kind of deserved it. Kyle met Kenny half way in the driveway, muttering things to himself as he balled up a fist, looking as if he wanted to punch Kenny. Expecting Kyle to actually hit him, Kenny waited, surprised when Kyle only lowered his fist, glancing at the bags of food and drinks.

"So, you felt bad enough to spend money on us?" Kyle cocked up an eyebrow, a smirked playing on the edge of his lips. Kenny only shrugged though, a little embarrassed that it was obvious how guilty he was feeling. It was well-known, by all of his friends, that when Kenny felt really guilty over a mistake he made, he would buy things for the people affected by that mistake. Although, it wasn't a correct way to apologize, Kyle and everyone else admired how Kenny went to lengths to prove that he was truly sorry. "Thanks, dude. I accept your apology for being a douche."

Smiling lightly as he rolled his eyes, Kenny relaxed a little, realizing that maybe, things wouldn't go as terribly as he had imagined. Remembering why he had left in the first place, Kenny sighed, setting the bags down by his feet, reaching into his jacket pocket to light up a cigarette. "I'm sorry, Ky, I really am, but.. is _he_ inside?"

Since Kenny had hopped over his fence like a damn rabbit, Kyle hadn't really talked to anyone - Craig had been trying to recover the whole time, while Kyle was just trying to get his friend to come back, and stop acting stupid. Sighing as he thought about it, Kyle raked his hand through his hair, just wanting this whole mess to be over with. "Yes. He hasn't said shit. Just go in there, and _fucking talk_ to him, Ken. Jesus Christ, it's _Craig_! What's the worst that could happen?"

Although Kyle did have a point, doubt still remained pounding at his temple, still just wanting to escape from the conversation. Glancing behind Kyle, to his house, Kenny sighed, before flicking his cigarette butt out in the street, and picking up the bags at his feet, taking a few steps towards the house. Just thinking about how ridiculous he looked walking like an injured dog made Kenny pick up his speed, as he realized exactly how dramatic he was being. Kyle was right, it was just Craig, and Craig, was the most relaxed person anyone had ever met, so, really, what had he been worrying about?

Just as he was about to walk through his front door, Kenny was pulled back by the sound of Kyle's phone ringing next to him, a distressed look whipping onto the ginger's face. Turning away from Kenny slightly, Kyle began to talk quietly through the phone, as if he was trying to hide something, which, he really was. The conversation didn't last long, as Kyle hung up only a minute into the conversation, acting as if nothing had happened. Kenny wanted to question it, but the far-off look in Kyle's eyes, told him that he shouldn't ask this time - the situation wasn't for it. Even though Kyle's actions were oddly disturbing, it gave Kenny a sense of clarity, a bit of confidence being boosted into his system as he started to grasp the concept that Craig, was just his friend, that he had done a normal thing with, and that, obviously, there were more serious things going on. As soon as Kenny fixed this problem, he could help Kyle, and be the friend he needed to be. With Kyle following close behind, his atmosphere still disturbed from whatever phone call he just got, Kenny walked through his front door finally, a little surprised when he saw Craig and Stan just talking casually in the living room, both of them sipping on coffee like it was the last thing they would ever drink.

Craig didn't even notice that Kenny had entered, not breaking the conversation with Stan for even a second. Kyle snapped them out of it though, walking between them, purposely, as he wanted Craig and Kenny to figure their shit out, crawling onto Stan's lap, while wrapping his arms around his neck. Usually, it was Stan clinging to Kyle, yet, this time, it was the opposite, which, for whatever reason, disturbed both Craig and Kenny. Finally, after a long period of time of both of them avoiding their situation, Craig and Kenny locked eyes for a moment, both of them looking away awkwardly. Instead of involving Stan and Kyle in their awkward exchange, Kenny motioned for Craig to follow him to the kitchen, where he lit up a joint silently, trying to ease his way into the conversation that he didn't even know how to start. As he was finally going to say _something_ , they were interrupted by footsteps on the staircase, echoing loudly throughout the whole house. A slightly hung over, and proud, Clyde waltzed into the kitchen, Bebe following lightly, only going to Wendy immediately, as she noticed her alone on the couch. Clyde, made it really obvious that he got laid, a joint hanging onto the left side of his lip as he wore a smug grin, his bare chest showing off every mark of his innocence taken; seeing all of this, Craig and Kenny exchanged a look, both of them trying not to burst out in fits of laughter as they looked at their cocky friend, who was acting like he was the first of them to lose his virginity.

Now leaning on the kitchen table, Clyde inhaled his joint deeply, obviously inhaling too much as his faced turned red, in attempt to hide his need to cough. Since he thought value laid in whether or not someone had sex, Clyde saw himself as equal to, or above, Craig and Kenny, when, in fact, neither of them were better than the other - it wasn't a competition. Both of the other boys in the kitchen held a love for their friend, so they let him have his moment, and more, if it would come to that. Clyde, of course, needed to verbally confirm his encounter, beginning with a low whisper: "We totally fucked."

Scoffing, Craig rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his coffee. Though he was happy for his friend, he still wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to be a snarky asshole. "Oh, wow, no shit, idiot."

Kenny chuckled a little at Craig's remark, catching his eye, which made both of them look the other way, and shut up immediately. Clyde noticed this, squinting at the two of them, as if it would reveal all of the answers to the questions he had. Instead of questioning it like he usually would have, Clyde remembered that the rest of the boys were coming over soon, to have a meeting about the Irish Mob, and that was his reason for coming downstairs in the first place. "Ken," Now paying full attention to Clyde, Kenny nodded, signaling for him to continue. "Cartman, Token, and Tweek are gonna be here soon, since you said we were going to have a meeting about that Mob shit."

If Kenny was being honest with himself, he had completely forgotten that he promised to have a discussion about that problem - actually, Kenny hadn't thought about it since school, being distracted with other things, obviously. Either way, Kenny knew that he needed to take it seriously, and not acknowledge his issues with Craig, since his friends deserved truthful answers, even if it upset them. Only nodding an answer to what Clyde said, Kenny went up to his room, wanting a minute to clear his head, and his room, not wanting the place he slept to be stained with foggy memories, that could easily be scrubbed away, depending on what Craig wanted. In general, at the moment, Kenny felt comfortable being alone, just cleaning his room, and thinking about the direction in which his life was ended, like a normal teen. Unlike a normal teen, however, he had to figure out a way to get the fucking Mob to leave him alone, without putting his friend's lives in danger. At the moment, Kenny wasn't sure how any of that was possible.

Of course, though, someone cut off Kenny's important thoughts, knocking on his door as he had just finished throwing the condoms away, and started putting dirty clothes in his laundry basket. Kenny, practically praying that it wasn't Craig, held in a huge breath as he opened his bedroom door, bracing for the worst. Like the universe was trying to say a huge 'fuck you' to him, Kenny opened his door to find Craig, except, he looked completely unemotional, his face in a bored expression as it always was. "They're here." Before Kenny could answer, or even think of something to say, he was walking down the steps slowly, not even looking back. If there wasn't a problem, Craig would've waited for him, but, now, it was obvious that there was going to be a problem when they finally got the chance to talk.

Despite not wanting to have this talk, Kenny sighed, forced his legs to move forward, as he shut the door behind him, and continued down the steps. There was light conversation flowing from the living room, which made Kenny's stomach twist into knots; after hiding something so huge, from most of his friends, for so long, Kenny felt he could have a meltdown from the amount of pressure that laid on his chest. He finished the longest walk in his life, Kenny finally setting foot in the living room, the conversations snapping off immediately, like a switch was flipped. No one looked pissed at him exactly, but they didn't exactly look happy, and, here he was again, disappointing his friends, and having to explain himself just to keep them around. Kenny was tired of being the 'leader', and he was certainly tired of being blamed for things he didn't have control over.

With frustrating thoughts swarming through his head at a speed he couldn't control, Kenny sat down shakily next to Stan, holding his head in his hands. None of them expected him to enter like this, exchanging looks as Kenny sat still, not even breathing, from what they could see. Everyone looked to Stan, not only because he was 'the second in command', but also because he was the only one close enough to Kenny, physically and mentally, to be able to get him to explain what the hell was going on. A little scared himself, Stan only blinked at Kenny's still form, not wanting to disturb him, in case there were physical repercussions. Although everyone else in the room was freaking out silently, Kenny was only trying to collect himself appropriately, trying to avoid being insensitive about the entire situation. Deep down, Kenny knew he was in the wrong, and there _had_ to be someway to fix it.

Finally, after many moments of uncomfortable silence, Kenny moved, breathing out slowly as he looked at each of his friends, even his new ones - Bebe and Wendy. "Honestly," He started minimally, the word barely coming out as a whisper, everyone else holding their tongue, just waiting, for him to continue. "I don't know what to do about the Irish Mob."

There were a lot of murmurs, like, something that would be heard at an office, only a quiet hum filling Kenny's ears. As everyone whispered to whoever they could, there was only one person that Kenny was looking at - Craig. Instead of talking to Kenny, who was next to him, Craig only stared back at Kenny, his elbows resting on his knees as his dark eyes bore into the others; if anyone else had been paying attention to them, in particular, it would've looked like Craig was angry with Kenny, when in fact, this was kind of Craig's unique way of urging him to continue. Before Kenny could comply to what Craig wanted, Token shushed everyone, now bringing all attention onto him, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out a way to ask the question he had: "What.. What do you mean _exactly_?"

Of course, Kenny was going to have to explain himself further, even though he really just wanted to relax, and forget about it for _just_ a minute. Sighing, as he tried to find a way to explain everything simply, Kenny popped a cigarette in his mouth, sticking the lighter on until the butt was lit, not caring about the stain the smell would leave as he usually would've, thoughts of Karen slipping his mind. "I _mean_ that I don't know how to stop them because all they want to do is kill me, and.. and they can't do that." Kenny ignored all of the confused looks he got, since he didn't even want to bother explaining, knowing that they would never believe him, like before. "I know, for sure, that they don't want to hurt any of you, or Karen, or Kevin - just me. I really don't want to get any of you involved, so, _please_ let me handle it on my own."

Being the only who hadn't spoke since they had been there, Cartman groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose as Stan often did. "Kenny you know damn well, that we're not going to let that happen."

There were some murmurs of agreement, even though Kenny scowled at his beaten hands, just wanting to make everyone understand; unfortunately, there would never be a way for them to understand, since there wasn't a way from him to show he was immortal. He stood up suddenly, probably overwhelmed by frustration, and their lack of being able to understand the immense amount of pressure he had on him. " _We_ can't do anything! _I'm_ going to be the one that will either have to strike up some sort of deal, or have to sacrifice myself!" Feeling his ears and neck go red, from the amount of anger, and frustration he was feeling. Kenny glanced at Craig once more, finding the need to want his attention, only finding a lack there of, causing his anger build. "This isn't your shit to deal with. It was my parents that fucked up, and put a target on my head - not yours. _Don't_ , get involved."

Since he didn't want to completely have a meltdown in front of all of his friends, Kenny stood up, as his heavy words hit the room, marching up the stairs as fast as he could. Of course, Kenny wanted to tell his friends that he couldn't die, and that's why he wasn't afraid, and didn't need help; they could never understand, though, let alone believe any of it, so it was useless. There was definitely going to be repercussions for the way he had reacted, but at the moment, as he dived into his bed finally, Kenny found himself, too mentally exhausted to care about all the problems he had caused.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I'm being honest, I've had a really difficult time writing Kenny. In general, we, as fans, don't know a lot about Kenny, so it's been hard for me to figure him out. I want to write him as accurately as possible, since I want every character to be unique. Anyways, this reason has caused me to write chapters, and then rewrite them, which is why my chapters are taking forever to be published. Thank you for being patient, and understanding, there's a lot of good stuff headed your way :)

Purposely, Kenny slept through all of Saturday. He was lucky enough to have a lock on his door, and was also blessed to be a heavy sleeper, avoiding every problem he had by just dreaming everything away. It wasn't until Sunday morning, that Kenny felt like it was safe enough for him to leave his room - it wasn't that Kenny didn't _want_ to face his friends, but he just didn't want to face their anger, and confusion. Actually, the only thing that got Kenny got of bed, was the constant pounding on his door, and the seventy-six missed calls lighting up his phone. Somehow, deep down, Kenny knew that it was only Karen, who was probably pissed from the mess that was left from the party; it wasn't like Kenny to leave messes, so, either she was very concerned about him, or she was about to kick his ass. Either way, Kenny didn't leave her waiting long, pulling on the black t-shirt he had left on the floor earlier, before staggering over to the door, his fingers fumbling with the lock for a moment, a little afraid of the disappointment waiting for him on the other side.

Considering that Kenny was only in the mood to see his sister, he was relieved when he found Karen alone, standing on the other end of the door. She didn't seem angry with him in the slightest, only throwing herself into her brother as soon as she could, a sigh of relief ghosting his shoulder. It was confusing for him, the fact that she wasn't even slightly mad at him, though, Kenny was pretty damn relieved. "Um.. Hi."

With the way things were left with his friends, Kenny hadn't thought about how his disappearance for basically a whole day, would affect other people. He was sort of hiding, knowing deep down, that he hadn't reacted well - or even the way that he really wanted to. Since he couldn't prove his immortality to his friends, Kenny felt trapped, and heavy burdened, which caused him to lash out last night; he knew it wasn't their fault they didn't understand, but that didn't make it any less frustrating.

Karen obviously noticed Kenny's odd answer, and behavior, since he didn't even attempt to hide it, and she knew it was why she hadn't seen him since Friday. Pulling back from his tight embrace slowly, Karen sighed again, scanning her brother's tired, stressed face. "Ken, what happened between you and the boys?"

Subconsciously, in a kind of longing and desperate way, Kenny glanced towards Craig's house, a twisting feeling erupting in his stomach, interrupting his thoughts, reminding Kenny that, again, he had messed up. When they were younger, he never did shit like this. Kenny had never been in the middle of anything, and he certainly wasn't a leader for anyone; now, he was the one causing all of the problems. Only slightly turning his attention back to Karen, Kenny kept his eyes locked on the ground, something he did when he felt guilty, she noticed. "I-I don't really want to talk about it right now, Kar."

Shocked that her brother wasn't wanting to confine in her, Karen only nodded in understanding, not wanting to push it. Karen was sure she'd hear about it later from Kenny, or Tricia, who constantly bothered Craig for information of their group. Kenny and the boys had gotten into fights before, some even turning physical, however, none had left Kenny, seemingly, so sad. In an attempt to distracted him from his feelings about the situation, Karen grabbed Kenny's wrist, pulling him down the stairs with her, without a word. It wasn't exactly unusual for her to do this, though, Kenny was still surprised from it, since she hadn't done something so childish in quite a few years - this definitely wasn't a complaint though, their childhood being taken from them sooner than they deserved, and Kenny found it refreshing that she was acting like her age, and not the age of someone with responsibilities. While Kenny had been briefly thinking back to the horrible past they had lived, Karen had taken him to the couch in the living room, placing a water bottle, and some popcorn in his lap before she started a movie that Kenny had never seen before. Now that Kenny thought about it, he never really watched anything; when he wasn't with his friends, he just listened to music, or put on the TV for mindless noise while he played on his phone. Karen was the opposite, though, always being engulfed in some show, emotionally attached to every character like they were her own children, and Kenny just didn't _get_ it, however, since he had shut her out for an entire day, he remained in his spot, accepting her version of help.

Although Karen's distractions were much appreciated, Kenny wasn't into whatever they were watching. From what he could tell, it was some movie about superheros saving the world from an angry grape, but that was about all he was able to see before he, again, fell asleep for a few hours, only being woken up from violent shaking. It was clear that Karen was a bit annoyed that Kenny had fallen asleep, instead of spending time with her, though, she didn't say anything as his eyes slowly slid open, only the sound of Karen running upstairs heard. Since he had been asleep for basically the entire weekend, Kenny was a little disoriented by the fact that it was nearly dark out, and that it was a Sunday, the reminder of school the next day making him roll his eyes. Out of boredom, already, he felt the urge to grab his phone, and check his endless messages, for once. Besides using his phone for music, and texting Karen, Kenny didn't really use his phone, almost never looking at the notifications he received throughout the day. Other than Karen, Kenny sometimes texted Stan, or Kyle, and even Craig once, even though, he preferred not to have his phone anywhere near him most days. Back when social media was the most important thing in their lives, Stan and Kyle had made Kenny an Instagram, even though he insisted on not getting one, and still, it was up, being followed by people everyday; Kenny had Snapchat, but, he never answered those either, not really giving a shit about what everyone else was doing.

As he thought about his lack of technological social activity, Kenny unlocked his phone, shakily tapping open the messaging app, his stomach dropping further when he saw the endless messages from his friends, _only_ wondering where he was. Though he had now seen that his friends only cared about his well being, Kenny scowled at the messages, as if they were an indecipherable language, unattainable even by the greatest minds. It seemed, as Kenny determined after at least ten minutes of reading, that after he had gone upstairs, they had cleaned, and just decided to give him space - they had only started to worry when Craig had "casually" asked Tricia if Karen had talked to Kenny, and Tricia informed him that Karen and Kenny hadn't spoken since Friday. Apparently, Clyde and Tweek, dramatically thought that Kenny had run away, even though they knew that he would never abandon Karen, or them. There were a million questions in Kenny's messages, and he just wanted to not think about it at the moment. Instead of answering his concerned friends, Kenny decided to pull what everyone had deemed a "Stan", (even though they knew Stan's struggles with depression and alcohol were very real, and often went hand-in-hand) grabbing some hidden whiskey from in the fridge, opening the top with a simple flick of his fingers, casually tipping the bottle to his lips like it was water. There was so much that Kenny wanted to escape, and the only things that could possibly help him succeed in that, at the moment, was alcohol and weed. Kenny didn't exactly like having the want to drink, but if there was a time to do something stupid, it was now.

In Kenny's opinion, right now, not being sober was more relaxing, almost freeing, from all of the problems he didn't want to face. After a few hours, however, with Karen being asleep now, Kenny drank more than he smoked, resulting in a mostly drunk Kenny, mumbling to himself on the couch, his thoughts flipping back and forth between Craig and Butters, as they always did, even when he was sober; except, right now, it was at a speed that made Kenny just want to drink even more. Almost permanently stuck on the couch now after only getting up a few times to smoke a joint outside, Kenny tried to think about the night he spent with Craig, almost no memories coming to the surface, a sense of curiosity, and lust, hanging on the unknown. On the other hand though, was Butters, who flipped from caring about Kenny's well-being, to claiming that he hated him, all in just a few minutes. Kenny was smart enough to see, even though he was drunk, that he wanted to be with Leo, however, with his negative thinking, and low self-esteem, lately, Kenny knew that he wasn't good enough, for, possibly, the best person for him. More than anything, Kenny wanted to be the best version of himself, not only for Karen and hi friends, but also for Leo, so he could love him like he deserved.

Since he had some sort of odd feelings for Craig, Kenny felt as if he shouldn't even be thinking about Leo, until he was able to sort out that bullshit. He definitely wouldn't have minded his thoughts towards Craig if Butters didn't exist, but, because Butters did exist, Kenny couldn't tell what was right, and what was wrong. The line between right and wrong that was once so visible, was blurred now, Kenny walking an unseen path, in a direction that even he couldn't understand. Actually, as Kenny was thinking about it more, he didn't understand _anything_ anymore. though, that might've just been because he was drunk.

With his thoughts being all over the place, causing a pounding in his head, Kenny stood up quickly, ignoring the slight spinning in his vision. Once he was able to make his body do what he wanted it to do, Kenny walked shakily to the back door, his right hand placing a blunt between his lips, before he was even outside. The moment he was outside though, Kenny cupped his hand over the butt, attempting to light the end with his favorite blue lighter. Much to Kenny's dismay, the wind was blowing a little too hard for the fire to catch the end; in a desperate attempt to feel high, Kenny turned towards the house a little more, trying to block some of the surprisingly strong winds from ruining his good time. Finally, after a fight that seemed to last forever, the end lit, smoke being sucked into Kenny's lungs at a confusing speed - sometimes, time was fuzzy for Kenny when he drank, though, he considered that might've been true for everyone else, too. Like it had just been a small tornado coming through, as soon as Kenny sat down on the porch, the wind was only a quiet breeze now, tousling Kenny's hair lightly against his forehead, the longish blonde locks poking right above his eyes. There was something calming about the night that made Kenny forget about everything for a moment, and just appreciate the things around him, something that he neglected to do lately.

The relaxation was sort lived though, as Kenny heard a voice to his left, his hand immediately falling to where his gun would usually be. Cursing to himself sightly for forgetting his gun when the Mob was still wanting to fucking murder him, Kenny sighed, before turning to where the voice had come from, only looking up to find Craig, leaning out his window with his usual scowl on his face. There was only silence for a moment as Kenny thought about whether or not to respond, unsure if it was okay for them to talk when he was drunk, and a little high. Kenny decided after a moment, that if he probably shouldn't be shutting people out, and he should be giving his friends a chance to help. Though, there was the small possibility, that Craig would decide to mention their hook-up, and Kenny wasn't sure he was ready for that. "Craig?" Kenny breathed out, cringing when he heard the slight hoarseness of his voice, making it obvious that he was kind of fucked up, and nervous.

Now leaning on his palm in the open window, Craig rolled his eyes at Kenny, not oblivious to the fact that Kenny was drunk. "Where have you been, dude?"

A ping of irritation hit Kenny at the attitude in Craig's voice, though, he only sighed once again, trying to focus his feelings on what was important. He rubbed the back of his neck for a minute, taking a hit at the same time, just wanting to have the opportunity to slip inside. "Um, sleeping."

"Really?" Craig scoffed, not buying Kenny's explanation, since he was a little angry himself. There were a couple reasons he was angry: first, he was pretty pissed that Kenny had rejected their help, once and again, and secondly, Craig was mad that he was desperate to talk about their Friday night together. All of this boiled over, as Craig lifted his middle finger, sneering down at Kenny. "You're full of shit, McCormick."

Immediately letting the damn break on his feelings, probably due to his intoxication, Kenny stood up towards where Craig was looking down at him, angrily throwing a finger up at him. "Goddammit, Tucker, just leave me the fuck alone!"

As Craig's window closed abruptly, his figure disappearing from view, leaving Kenny to feel accomplished as he sat back down in his spot on the porch, lighting up another blunt. To Kenny's drunk mind, it was obvious to him, that Craig didn't even want to talk about what happened, and was going to keep getting on Kenny's nerves as much as humanly possible. Just as the blunt was starting to calm him down, and make him forget the argument, the back door swung open with a slam, causing the blonde on the porch to jump, nearly dropping the stick of peace between his fingers. Expecting it to be Karen, Kenny was astonished when he turned, and found Craig standing there, his arms crossed over his chest, glaring down at Kenny. Before Kenny could even question him, Craig sat down to his right, a cigarette lifting to his mouth as Kenny only stared, confused by what was happening, and a little in awe from how smooth Craig was. The way he was just smoking the stick between his teeth, was more calm and cool, than Kenny could ever hope to be, Craig not even batting an eye at the entire situation, as if it wasn't even happening - and this was stuff that annoyed Kenny about Craig, he was just so much better than him in every way, Kenny found himself kind of despising Craig at times.

"Ken," Breaking Kenny from his drunken thoughts, Craig leaned his elbow on his knee, looking out at the darkness of the yard. "we've got some things to talk about, that I _really_ don't want to talk about, but-"

"Look," Kenny interrupted suddenly, passing the blunt to Craig without even looking at him, afraid, and drunk, for the conversation that awaited them. "I really don't want to talk about it either." Craig just sat in silence, glancing at Kenny slightly out of the corner of his eye, sucking in as much smoke as he could handle. "I don't know what to say about it though, like.. should, we, uh, even talk about us hooking up?"

Both of the boys felt incredibly awkward, as the situation was finally out in the open, slapping them in the face like a giant hand. Trying to maintain his reputation for not caring about anything, Craig rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. "Y-Yeah, we should probably talk about that."

There was only thick silence for a few minutes, as neither of the boys wanted to be the first one to say something. Although he didn't want to say it out loud, Kenny wanted to tell Craig he actually wanted what was happening to continue; to him, there was a reason they were having feelings for each other, when their possible soulmates were constantly being thrown in front of them. Kenny concluded that the point of their lust and pining, was to choose the wrong thing, before the right thing. However, when Kenny thought about it like that, his drunk mind couldn't really focused, and it didn't end up making sense, even if he kind of understood it, at the same time - he just decided the think about these factors when he was sober.

Snapping back to reality, remembering what he was thinking about in the first place, Kenny ran a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the lustful feelings he was getting again, chalking it up to his state of drunkenness, and not the fact that Craig was sitting right next to him. "I mean, dude, if I'm being honest.." There was a pause as Kenny inspected the look on Craig's face first, before continuing with his true feelings, for once. "I'm okay with whatever you want."

Only for a split second, did Kenny see a look of shock on Craig's face, before his stone cold expression was back again, though, it still looked like he wasn't sure what to say. "I think.. I think I want to continue."

The sentence came as a surprise to both of them, the substances balanced between their fingers, being inhaled before anymore thoughts were continued. Kenny just sighed after a moment though, a little relieved that nothing hateful was coming from either of their mouths. "Okay."

Craig smoked the rest of his cigarette in just a few seconds, unknowingly a little anxious from the short conversation. He noticed, after a few minutes of being deep in his own thoughts and fears, that Kenny was kind of nodding off, the stench of alcohol overwhelming to his nostrils, now. If it was anyone else, Craig would've just left and gone home, but, because it was _Kenny_ , Craig lifted him by the elbow, and lead him inside, only stopping in the kitchen to grab a water bottle, before setting him carefully down on the couch. After yesterday's events surrounding Kenny and his friends, Craig kind of felt like he needed all of the support he could get, even if Craig was the weirdest support he had. He could deny it all he wanted, however, in the end, Craig cared about Kenny more than he lead on.

Finally getting a drunk Kenny settled on the couch, curled up in a fetal position by the arm of the couch, Craig turned on the TV, putting on some random, late-night television cartoon, trying to relax, himself. While Craig was forcing himself to stay awake in case his friend was going to puke, Kenny couldn't help, but to drift off a little, being comfortable, and content where he was at the moment, again, forgetting about all the problems, and responsibilities he had. Before either of them knew it, they were both fast asleep on the couch, huddled up against one another - if anyone would've walked in on them, it would've been a picture worthy scene.

The sense of peace didn't last long enough, however, as Craig found himself jolting awake, looking around the room with squinted eyes. As he went to reach for his phone, Craig was surprised when he found Kenny's head on his lap, with his arms wrapped tightly around his legs, snoring loudly. If Craig hadn't found himself thinking of Kenny often, he would've been annoyed, instead though, he quietly shook the blonde on his lap in an attempt to get him to go to his actual bed. Once Kenny was awake, he felt Craig blindly grab his wrist, and tug him upstairs, and, for some reason that Kenny wasn't quite remembering, he was feeling déjà vu, like they had been in the exact same position before. As he realized that they were headed to the one room that started all of their problems in the first place, Kenny tried to pull back, wanting Craig to consider what he was implying; just a bit ago, Craig and Kenny had decided to continue, though, Kenny wasn't feeling confident in Craig's answer, unsure if he actually meant it. Noticing Kenny's hesitation about where they were headed, Craig sighed, stopping right in front of the bedroom doors.

"Earlier," Craig started, forcing the lump in his throat down as Kenny stared at him, swaying slightly. "I meant that I'm _sure_ I want to continue."

If the situation was different, Kenny would've been all for what Craig was implying, but, at the moment, he was feeling a little to drunk to even walk in a straight line. Opening his door slowly, Kenny pulled Craig in slightly, kicking off his shoes as he mumbled nonsense to himself, trying to organize his thoughts enough to tell Craig what he wanted to. "W-We can't tonight, I.." Though he made it through the important of the sentence, Kenny couldn't finished the rest, as he became to focused on getting his pants off to sleep.

Craig understood what Kenny had been trying to explain though, only nodding, helping his friend get into bed. He had kind of been hoping to stay the night with Kenny, since he hated being at home, and he was hoping that Kenny would wake up horny, but now, Craig found himself standing at the end of the bed, unsure of what to do. Noticing the lack of a body next to him, Kenny opened one eye, raising an eyebrow at Craig, waiting for him to stop being a bitch, and get in bed with him. After a moment of rolling his eyes and scoffing, Craig complied with what Kenny wanted, and crawled into bed, laying flat on his back, not wanting to cuddle with his, assumed, fuck-buddy. Kenny didn't seem to give a shit about what he wanted though, curling himself into Craig's side, his cold cheek pressed against Craig's warm, bare chest.

Their position had Craig, admittedly, a little flustered. He had failed to mention to Kenny that he remembered every single moment of Friday night - he knew that if he told Kenny, he would've been forced to give details, and there were some things that he wanted to keep to himself. Especially that night. Craig ignored his situation though, and relaxed in his spot, loosely placing a hand on Kenny's arm that laid across his chest, sleeping taking over him, as his breathing fell into sync with Kenny's.

**

"So, should we wake them up?"

"Dude, I think they're naked, and I really don't want to be victim to _that_ nightmare."

Realizing that those voices were not part of his dream, and close to him, Kenny's eyes shot open, revealing Stan and Kyle hovering over the bed discussing whether or not to wake Kenny and Craig up. They hadn't noticed Kenny was awake now, so he cleared his throat, the horrified looks on their faces almost making Kenny's hangover disappear, though, as their faces settled, there was a look of disappointment that Kenny really didn't appreciate. Before Kenny could talk, Craig shifted to his left, though, he wasn't awake yet, his snoring continuing after he settled.

As Kenny got up slowly, Stan slapped his hand over his eyes, fully expecting Kenny to be ass naked. Kyle only sighed, shaking his head as he lowered Stan's hand, even though he appreciate how respectful his boyfriend was being, he was still an idiot. "Babe, Kenny doesn't sleep naked."

Nodding along with Kyle's statement, Kenny smirked a little when he saw the flash of jealously in Stan's eyes. "H-How did you know that, Ky?"

Exchanging a funny look, despite Stan's desperation to know the answer, Kyle and Kenny giggled evilly. "Dude, I told him."

Just as Kenny was going to start to make fun of Stan for being so quick to assume whatever weird thing he was assuming, Kenny felt an arm snake around his waist, looking down to see Craig's tan one flesh against his stomach, and his chest against his lower back. Kyle and Stan exchanged a look that could only be explained as surprise, before leaving quickly, and heading down the steps. Kenny knew better though, and turned to see a smirking Craig, fully awake.

"Did it work?" Craig's smirked grew wider as he asked this, a little thrilled that Kenny was fully aware of his plan as soon as he had turned over.

Leaning back in his bed, the pounding in his head finally getting to him, Kenny laughed lightly, rubbing his temples. "Well, they left, so yeah."

There was a silence between them, as Kenny tried to focus on trying to calm the pounding that was taking over his entire head, only the noise of bed springs being heard after a few minutes, Craig getting up to find his shirt and jeans. Still not being able to lift his arms from his eyes, Kenny was powerless as he heard Craig exit his bedroom, and walk quickly down the stairs. Kenny honestly wasn't sure whether he was leaving, or whether he was just ready to get up, but, what he didn't expect, was to hear his returning footsteps, followed by the bedroom door closing, once again. Lifting one if his arms carefully, Kenny was able to see Craig next to him, setting down some Ibuprofen, and a water bottle, pulling out his phone like he was being casual.

Rolling his eyes at his friend, once again, Kenny took a few pills, gulping them down with some water, the clear liquid easing some of the tension in his temple. It wasn't that big of a deal that Craig did something nice, since he did helped his friends quite often, but, Kenny thought it was kind of odd that Craig was sitting there, as if he was waiting for something. Instead of focusing on Craig, Kenny relaxed for awhile, waiting until the tension had almost completely disappeared, before opening his eyes again. As the day of the week set in for Kenny, he groaned as he realized he was going to have to face his, possibly, angry friends, and probably apologize. Stan and Kyle hadn't seemed angry with him in the slightest, however, they knew that Kenny was always the type to act alone, even when he was Mysterion, during their "missions", he would often disappear and clear all of the danger for them. The guilt was really starting to get to him though, Kenny now sitting up, his head in his hands as he tried to figure out how to explain himself - there was no real way for him to explain why he needed to act alone, without talking about his immortality.

Starting to notice that Kenny wasn't just dealing with a hangover anymore, Craig rolled his eyes, pushing Kenny slightly, knowing that they needed to get moving before the rest of the boys got there. "Ken, get ready." Kenny didn't move though, as if he hadn't just been pushed, and nagged at. Craig didn't like being ignored though, sighing in annoyance as he sat himself in front of his friend on the bed, shaking Kenny by his arms now. "McCormick, you're okay. Get fucking going."

"I fucking hate you." Craig was surprised by the venom layered in Kenny's voice, and was even more jolted as Kenny raised his head, a dark look in his eyes. Frustrated with his problems, and Craig's annoying taunts, Kenny tackled Craig, causing him to fall off the bed, his back and head hitting the floor a little harder than he would've liked, but not hard enough to actually hurt him. Instead of starting to hand out punches as he usually would've, Kenny dipped down without warning, and harshly slammed his lips against Craig's as his hands held down his wrist, Craig powerless to move under Kenny's weight. Though he couldn't move, Craig wasn't complaining, a familiar tingle zapping through his stomach as Kenny's tongue licked at his bottom lip teasingly, before this teeth sunk instead, tugging at the plump lip viciously. Too soon for both their liking, Kenny pulled back, patting Craig's cheek as he felt the problem Craig was having against his leg, winking smugly as he stood up, pulling on a pair of ripped jeans. If there was anything that Kenny was good at, it was teasing, and had just done his absolute best.

Still laying on the floor, a mix of annoyance and lust swarming through him, Craig didn't even glance at Kenny as he left, still feeling accomplished from the state he had put Craig in. Kenny walked confidently down stairs, ignoring Stan and Kyle's judgmental looks, only heading straight for the living room, throwing himself down roughly, the whole couch itself moving back a few inches from the force. Since they were having some sort of conversation before, Stan and Kyle continued whispering to each other in their spot on the smaller couch, basically on top of each other as Stan held Kyle, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. There was something odd about it, but Kenny decided to mind his own business, and turn on the TV instead, giving them as much privacy as possible, even though they were at his house.

The relaxing setting was short lived for Kenny, as Craig came bounding down the stairs, glaring at Kenny each step of the way. Kenny couldn't help but to smirk, and hold back a laugh, since it was so obvious that Craig wanted to kick his ass for leaving him alone upstairs. Not even caring that Stan and Kyle were right there, Craig approached Kenny on the couch, throwing his legs off so he had room to sit down, and subtly set his hand on the inside of Kenny's thigh. The smirk was wiped off of Kenny's face, as Craig didn't this, annoyed that they knew each other well enough, to know what was sensitive. This was definitely going to be an ongoing fight between them.

Stan and Kyle were subject to all of this, cringing at their friends' naughtiness. It wasn't that they weren't happy for them, in a way, they just didn't quite like all the openly sexual aspects of it, and, to avoid witnessing more of their unbearable closeness, Kyle cleared his throat loudly, prompting Craig and Kenny to turn towards him. A little embarrassed that his friends saw every single second of that, Kenny sat up straight, Craig's hand slipping off his thigh. Before Kyle could say what he wanted to, Craig opened his mouth, his words quiet, but direct: "Don't tell anyone."

Since they hadn't talked about the rest of their friends, Kenny was a little surprised that Craig was so quick to keep their "thing" under wraps, though, he suspected it was because of Tweek. In a way, Kenny was kind of glad that Craig had made that clear, since he really didn't want Butters finding out somehow - the last time Kenny had spoken to Leo, he had basically let him know that he didn't care anymore, but, in fact, he cared _too_ much. If there was a small chance that Butters could eventually feel the same though, he didn't want it to be ruined by what was just a fling.

"Okay, whatever." Kyle answered finally, annoyance in his voice, that subject obviously not what he wanted to talk about. Everyone knew that, at times, Kyle had a bit of temper, something that they had all unfortunately discovered at an early age. "Ken, are you going to explain to everyone one else, what your _goddamn_ problem was yesterday, or not?"

It was a question that had kind of been looming over all of their minds for a few days, and it was obviously that it was a fact, from the way Kyle, Stan and Craig were staring at Kenny. It didn't matter that Kyle was sassy about it, the only thing that mattered, was his friend's safety, and Kenny knew, that he could only protect them to an extent. With that in mind and heavy on his heart, Kenny thought silently for a moment, trying to decide what the best point of action was from this point, though, there wasn't a lot of options for him to choose from. "I meant what I said, but I didn't mean for it to come out so harshly."

Though Craig knew what he meant, he wanted more of an explanation from Kenny, since he had been pissed at him, too. "Stop being so fucking vague, and actually tell us the truth." Kenny went to counter Craig, to explain that they would never believe him, only to be cut off by the familiar, and emotional voice. "Wait until everyone else gets here, Kenny."

It was kind of funny, because in a way, Kenny felt like he was being scolded by parents, instead of his friends. He didn't like the problem, but the fact that they were treating him like a child, was almost comical to him, even though he tried to take is seriously. Actually, the next few minutes were the most uncomfortable that any of the boys had their entire lives, not even a noise from Karen's room interrupting their silent scolding of Kenny. It was actually an unfortunate amount of time before Token, Cartman, Tweek, Clyde, Bebe and Wendy arrived, their arrival marking dangerously close to them possibly being late for school. For Kenny, the awkwardness, and tension, only grew as the rest of his friends settled into the living room, only locking their eyes on random things around the room, avoiding his traveling gaze. They weren't afraid to meet him with their conflict, but they respected him, and all of the things he had done for them over the years, and didn't want him to think they didn't appreciate all he had done. As he took a long look at his friends in the room, Kenny felt a sense of calm wash over him, as he realized that they would listen to what he had to say, no matter how crazy it was.

"Um," A tired, and thoughtful Kenny started, all ears perking up at the sound of his unique, and steady voice. "I probably - no, _definitely_ shouldn't have just stormed off Saturday morning. I owe everyone an apology." No one moved, or, audibly, breathed, encouraging Kenny to give more an explanation of why he hadn't been himself for quite awhile; he had openly shared with them awhile ago that he wasn't sure why he was behaving so differently, though, most of the boys were sure that he just wasn't being as open with them as he thought. "I appreciate how everyone wants to fight to the fucking death with me, but.." Trailing off suddenly, Kenny realized that if he was going to keep all of the people that he loved, he was going to have to construct a reality for them, to save them from themselves. "I-I truly don't know a way we can stop this. Before, I just got overly frustrated because I can't protect everyone I care about.. I'm scared."

Though only half of what he had said was true, Kenny really was afraid in a sense - he was afraid for the future of his siblings and his friends, since he was unsure whether or not they were safe from the assholes that were basically hunting him. As they all processed what he had said in groups, Kenny sat alone on his couch, being left to watch his friends openly argued about him; in this moment, Kenny wished that he was still Mysterion, only so he could protect his friends from the shadows, without them knowing the things, and sacrifices hanging over his head. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Stan stood in front of Kenny, obviously being forced to be the spokesperson, since they all knew Kenny would never hurt Stan. They did failed to realize, though, that Kenny would never hurt anyone, but Craig, and he would only hurt him because that's how their friendship worked.

Obviously hesitant to speak up against his best friend, Stan shamelessly pulled his flask from his pocket, chugging whatever liquid was in there for a few moments, before continuing hastily. "Kenny, we all love you," They all mumbled shit that Kenny couldn't even understand, but it gave Stan another opportunity to take a swig from his flask, and calm whatever nerves he was suffering from. "B-But, we think you're being a dumbass. Fuck, I'm the wrong fucking person to explain this, but, basically, because we're your friends, we're going to be in your corner whether you like it, or not. We've also noticed that you've been doubting your role as a leader, and we want you to know, w-we've chosen you for a reason. I-I honestly don't remember what else they said, but, dude, you're stuck with us, no matter what."

It may have taken several discussions, but Kenny was finally starting to get that he _mattered_ to his friends. As he processed their commitment to follow him to the death, Kenny couldn't help to feel a weird stutter in his chest, a feeling he hadn't felt since he met Butters - it was a feeling of overwhelming love, and purpose. Maybe, for whatever reason, they were right.

"Okay," Kenny started, as he stood up slowly, looking at each of their faces observantly, not wanting to forget a single detail. "We'll do this shit together, as long as you work with me."

To everyone else, it was a breakthrough the Kenny had made, being able to finally realize that he had assets to help him survive; though, the only thing that Kenny could think of in this moment, was the pure innocence of Butters. For some reason, whenever he was close to danger lately, Kenny had been feeling like he owed it to Leo to stay alive, even if, they had some sort of weird feud going on. The declaration that was just made was being slightly celebrated by everyone else, as Kenny sat in silence on the couch, contemplating whether or not it was right for him to chose his friend's happiness, above his own.

_Was there room for him to make mistakes?_


	11. Chapter 11

Although everyone was excited that Kenny was _finally_ letting them help in his fight against the Mob, he couldn't even crack a smile. It didn't matter that everyone else was thrilled about it, he _wasn't_ thrilled about it, in the slightest, since he knew that they were basically throwing their lives down the drain. Since he was feeling this way, Kenny didn't utter as word as they walked their usual path to school, only walking silently between Craig and Kyle, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as his eyes remained locked on the ground. There were so many things he wanted to change in that moment, though, he knew he was now powerless against what he had already agreed to, destined to lose something - or someone - that he loved dearly.

It wasn't that no one noticed his off-putting behavior, they just chose not to question it, and Kenny was more than content with that. He knew that they all were grateful that he gave into them, and didn't want to push their luck. The only two people that seemed to not care about their previous discussions, were Stan and Craig, both of them passing around a flask with whiskey in it, much to the surprise of everyone who had never seen Craig just randomly day drink. It might've been normal for Stan to randomly drink throughout the day, but Craig was the type of person that really only drank at a party, or to escape his parent's fighting; Kenny was concerned he was stressing Craig out, and causing him to drink, due to their "arrangement". Actually, what they were doing was kind of irritating Kenny, though, some of that may have been related to the fact that he was still hungover.

With everything that happened at the party, Kenny had been having trouble finding a solution to every problem that arose from it. There was one thing that never really got resolved with him - Bebe and Clyde's hook-up. It wasn't that it needed to be resolved, but Kenny had quite a few questions for them, and even more came to mind as he slowly realized that they were on opposite sides of the group, not even glancing at each other. While Clyde was wrapped up in a - what seemed like - deep conversation with Token, Kenny noticed that Bebe was walking silently along side Wendy, her hands deep in her hoodie pocket as she stared at the ground. When it came to just having girl friends, Kenny wasn't the best, since the only reason he had ever talked to girls in the past, was to hook-up, though, he tried to talk to them as he would talk to Karen normally; just without the big brother aspect.

Breaking apart from Craig and Kyle, Kenny walked up to Bebe's left, causing her to jump slightly, and look at him in surprise. Out of everyone, they interacted the least, since they really didn't have much to say to each other. Wendy noticed his appearance too, only raising an eyebrow before continuing to look forward, deciding to mind her own business, and just hear about it later. For a split second, she was a little worried that Kenny may have been trying to get in her pants, however, she knew that he wasn't douchey like that. Not knowing Kenny very well, Bebe was stuck on Wendy's thought, thinking that he was taking an opportunity to mess with her, which put her off, causing her eyes to drop to the ground again.

Sensing that things were not going in a positive direction, Kenny decided to speak, and explain why he wanted to talk. One thing he knew about Bebe, was her short, and explosive temper, and he knew that he needed to word everything as carefully as possible. "Hey, I noticed you and Clyde aren't talking, are you guys okay?" Bebe only side-glanced to him, her short temper being triggered from his nosiness. Kenny was quick to realize this, throwing his hands up as quick as he could to stop her from jumping to conclusions. "O-Okay, that came across as nosy, I'm sorry."

Now seeing that Kenny was just trying to a decent person, Bebe relaxed a little, a quiver hitting her lip as she thought about Clyde. Still hesitant to spill the secrets only Wendy knew, Bebe studied his face for a moment, trying to determine whether or not, he was truly trustworthy. Sure, they had known each other since elementary school, but Bebe had never taken the time to really _know_ Kenny, and predict his thought pattern. When it came to other people, Bebe had a hard time trusting, due to past things that affected her outlook on everything. Finally feeling safe enough to continue, Bebe sighed, cracking her knuckles in her sweatshirt pocket. "You're okay, Kenny. We just.. aren't really speaking at the moment. You can ask him if you want, but that's all I'm telling you."

There was a little hostility in her voice towards the end, which signaled to Kenny that she _really_ didn't want to talk about it further. Now wanting to change the subject, and lift the awkward atmosphere, Kenny nodded quickly, his words flying out of his mouth like a damn canon: "Yeah, I totally understand." There was thick silence between them as Kenny tried to figure out how to make things less awkward, while Bebe was just trying to hold herself together, her temper getting to her more than she, or Kenny, would've liked at the moment. "Do you smoke? Um, weed?"

Noticing that he had to clarifying what kind of smoke he meant, Bebe stifled a laugh, amused by his inability to talk to girls like a normal person. His honest want to try, lead her to smile, pulling a lighter out of her sweatpants. "Hell yeah. Pass one."

Feeling some tension roll off of the conversation, finally, Kenny smirked, pulling a blunt from his pocket that he had rolled a few nights ago, handing it to Bebe swiftly. "I was a little, uh, busy at the party so I didn't pay attention to whether you were comfortable with smoking, or not."

A little surprised from his soft approached, Bebe only shrugged while inhaling the smoke, remembering how drunk Kenny was, causing a giggle to fall from her lips. "Oh yeah, you were pretty drunk, weren't you?"

As he remembered how wasted he had been that night, Kenny cringed, rubbing the back of his neck as he only chuckled at himself. "I was _stupid_ drunk." Bebe laughed at this, knowing that to be more true than he would've wanted. "I didn't even get to hang out with you - actually, we've never hung out."

To Kenny, this was a simple gesture of him wanting a friendship, while Bebe saw this as a guy wanting to get in her pants. She didn't like that. "Kenny," She started, an angry venom obvious in her voice. "I don't want to 'hang' with you. I'm with Clyde, asshole."

Not understanding how she assumed he wanted to sleep with her, Kenny shook his head violently, stopping in his tracks. The last thing he wanted to do, was disrespect a woman, and especially someone he saw as a friend. "Wait, no, no!" The weird, jumbled words were enough to keep Bebe at his side, her fists balled up at her side, ready to hit at the wrong word. "Fuck, look," Kenny was about to tell her something that Wendy, Craig, Stan and Kyle only knew, which was kind of a big deal for him, and it nearly stopped his voice from coming up, afraid of not be believed. "Don't-Don't tell _anyone_ , but I have a thing with Craig."

At first, Bebe really didn't buy what he said, only continuing to glare as the rest of the group carried on, not even noticing their absence. After a moment though, she remembered that Wendy had mentioned something about them going upstairs together Friday, which immediately made her crack a smile. "Oh, that makes sense." As if on cue, Kenny looked over to see Craig waiting for them, staring intently at Kenny with a look that really couldn't be described, which only made Kenny look back towards Bebe with a smirk. "You know, I kind of like it."

Kenny only agreed with the 'kind of' part, since he was pretty sure that his feelings really belonged to Butters - however, he liked Craig in a way, that went just a tad bit further than friendship. Wanting to change the subject from Craig as they began to walk towards him, Kenny decided to continue with the point he had earlier. "Anyways, I'd actually like to hang out with you and Wendy more. You guys are cool, and you're part of the gang now."

His wording had been a little weird, but Bebe got the point, agreeing that they should hang out, and definitely talk more, to build a better bond with him and the rest of the group. Although he was still interested on what was going on between her and Clyde, Kenny didn't push it farther, since she had made it clear it was off limits, unless he talked to Clyde. They were now walking with Craig, strained conversation continuing between them as they both felt that Craig was tense, oddly still drinking out of Stan's flask more frequently than even Kenny could've handled. Sensing that Craig wanted to talk with Kenny, Bebe caught up to Wendy, waving slightly to Kenny as she did, wanting him to know she wasn't ditching him, just escaping from their friend's weird behavior. Even though they had known each other so long, Kenny was also pretty unsettled by Craig's behavior, his walk now swerving from side to side, a loose smirk stained on his lips like spray paint.

"Dude," Kenny started finally, fighting the urge to use the attitude that was boiling under his skin. "What the fuck is your problem today?"

Seemingly just noticing that Kenny was next to him, Craig blinked at him, before scowling at the ground once again. "None of your business, Ken."

Now, it was obvious that something happened with his parents, since he was only this upset when his asshole mom and dad did something to disturb his monotone aura. Whatever it was, Kenny didn't want to push it anymore, only rubbing his arm lightly against Craig's, which, in itself, was a risk; Craig was very easy to set off when he had any amount of alcohol in his system, and Kenny really didn't want to deal with that at the moment. Despite Kenny being worried over his friend's reaction to his gesture, he was confused when Craig gave the flask to Stan suddenly, shoving his hands back in his pockets as soon as the exchange was done. Kyle, having been watching Craig carefully for a few minutes, looked back to Kenny, raising an eyebrow as if they could communicate telepathically, and he _had_ to know what was going on.

There was only a certain amount of care that Kenny could give in a week, and although it was Monday, he was beginning to reach his emotional limit. Honestly, all Kenny wanted to do for the whole day, was just hang out with his friends without some sort of drama, or problem that they expected him to fix. Maybe he was just a little grumpy, but Kenny felt tired, and overused. Since leaving the house, he had decided to try to keep everyone drama-free, and friendly, however, with Clyde and Craig's behavior, things weren't going as smoothly as he had wished for. He loved all of his friends, without a doubt, though sometimes, hanging out with all of them at once caused a lot of problems; sometimes, deep down, Kenny wished it was just Stan, Kyle, Cartman and him again. It was selfish thought however, that he always took back every time he thought of it.

Without him even noticing, they had arrived at school, Kenny only realizing where he was as his right foot connected with the first step. More than anything, Kenny dreaded going to school, mostly for the reason that it was pointless since they were never taught anything. Lately, his dislike for school had been growing, the urge to just drop-out nagging at his brain, but he knew better than to give up just because it was more convenient - it also wouldn't set a good example for Karen, which Kenny valued being a type of role model for her. So, he continued forward into Hell (basically), Craig still staggering a little at his side as they followed behind all the others. There was another poke of dread in his forehead, as he remembered his last discussion with Butters on Friday, cringing to himself when he realized that it was inevitable that they would see each other today.

As if on cue, Butters appeared in the corner of his left eye, blowing past him and Craig at an unusual speed; it wasn't fast enough to be a run, but he was definitely teetering between a fast-walk, and a jog that made Kenny want to catch up to him. Instead of staring at him like he normally would've, Kenny just turned his eyes back towards the rest of their friends, which Craig couldn't but notice. There were probably too many secrets between all of them, however, nothing was going to change that, all of them having the right to keep things to themselves. Still, Craig was a bit annoyed that Kenny was hiding something from him, and it annoyed him even more than he couldn't figure out exactly what it was.

"Yo, assholes," Clyde was suddenly right in front of Kenny and Craig, grinning largely, his long-ish brown hair falling into his stoned eyes. "Wanna come over later?"

Since he was infinitely embarrassed by his father, Clyde didn't like having people over at his house, and they also weren't sure whether he was just inviting them, or everyone else too. Kenny, being the fastest to comprehend his words, spoke up first: "Just us, or did you invite everyone else?"

Checking behind his shoulder for a moment, Clyde leaned towards them, talking lowly so the others wouldn't hear them. "It's going to be us three, Token, and Cartman." Again, Craig and Kenny exchanged a look, confused as to why everyone wasn't invited. Catching onto their confusion, Clyde pulled out his phone, showing them an ad for something. "I got this new game and I'm invited the best gamers only, so, don't mention it."

Of course, Kenny was probably going to mention this Stan and Kyle, since he knew they really wouldn't care - it was kind of weird, how something in him was always compelled to tell them whatever he learned. Shortly after they agreed to come over, and Clyde went back over to Token, whispering in his ear excitedly, while Token just nodded along emotionless, scrolling through something on his phone they he didn't seem too pleased with. Now that Clyde had left them alone, Kenny was getting a little concerned with how drunk Craig was, his friend stumbling around, and occasionally smacking into people in the hallway; this wasn't something that Craig needed, since Kenny knew that if the school found out what was going on, his parents would probably beat him. Craig didn't like to talk about it, but to Kenny, who was survivor of abuse himself, wasn't oblivious to the bruises, and cuts that sometimes littered his face and hands. The emotional turmoil that he carried was just as bad too, however, that part of his suffering was very well disguised.

As a distance grew between Kenny and the other boys, he took Craig by the elbow, dragging him towards the bathroom without an explanation. Craig didn't really protest however, letting Kenny just randomly drag him to somewhere before the first class. Although he wouldn't wish it on anyone, there was a part of Kenny that was hoping that Craig would just throw up while they were in there, simply for the reason that it would get out of his system faster. Much to Kenny dismay, Craig started to a gag a little as they were finally through the door, and Kenny got him in front of the toilet just in time for everything to come up. Now that he thought about it, Kenny realized that Craig had eaten this morning, and that was probably the main reason he was getting sick. As supportive as he wanted to be, Kenny knew that Craig would be _pissed_ later if he stayed in there with him while he was puking his guts out.

While Kenny was settling himself on the floor in front of the stall Craig was in, his head shot up as the door flew open suddenly, revealing Kyle dragging Stan in as Kenny had done to Craig. Kyle stopped for a moment, confused as to why Kenny happened to also be there, until he heard Craig throw up another round of alcohol, and continued leading Stan into the stall next to them. They both had obviously been dumbasses, and had drank on an empty stomach, so, now, Kenny and Kyle were going to have to take care of them the entire day. As Kyle sat in front of Stan's stall, next to Kenny, he was more than glad that Kenny happened to be there too, since he was getting pretty fed up with Stan's drinking; he was understanding in general, but he was especially understanding when it came to Stan because he knew every terrible thing he had been through, and wasn't blind to his depression. Lately, however, it was almost becoming too much for Kyle, and he was starting to scare himself with thoughts of doubt.

Stuck in those thoughts now, Kyle felt like this was the perfect opportunity to get advice from Kenny, since whenever they hung out, Stan was always around. "Ken, I need to talk to you about something." Kenny, surprised that this was the start of their conversation, turned towards Kyle, eyebrows scrunched together as he nodded. "Stan's drinking is getting to me, and I'm.."

Though the words were barely above a whisper, and he didn't even finish what he was saying, Kenny was able to understand what Kyle was starting to say. He had suspected for awhile that Kyle was getting tired, but it surprised him that he was getting to the point of telling someone else about it. For whatever reason, none of them had ever done anything to put a stop to Stan's excessive drinking, and the guilt, and weight, of that realization was hitting Kenny now - he was one of the main people encouraging the behavior, when he should've been trying stop it, not only for Stan's sake, but Kyle's too. "Well," Kenny started, after taking a moment to feel the guilt, and shame, he thought he definitely deserved. "Talk to him about, you know he'll listen. Just don't give up on him because it's getting hard, it won't last forever as long as you're by his side."

Just as Kyle was about to express his appreciation for Kenny's wisdom, the bathroom was pushed open lightly, someone stumbling in carefully, as if they were hiding. As a couple people ran passed the door, Kenny and Kyle exchanged a look, knowing that it was a kid that was probably being harassed for no reason. The person turned the corner after a moment, and, of course, it was Butters, now frozen in his spot, staring at both of the boys on the floor in terror. Even though Kenny was glad to see him in a way, there were two things that were stressing him out: one, was the fact that someone was fucking with Butters, and two, was the entire "coincidence" of Butters stumbling into the same place he happened to be in, which Kenny suspected was a big "fuck you" from God - if there was one. They locked eyes, which was unavoidable in the small space, an ice cold chill forming as Butters tried to glare, while, trying to keep Butters away from him, Kenny also tried to look at him with the same hate he had, though it fell short.

Since he was one of the nicest people in school, Kyle rolled his eyes at his friend before standing up, holding out a hand for Butters to shake. The smaller boy looked hesitant at first, still looking at Kenny as if he was going to attack at any moment, before shaking Kyle's hand lightly. "Hi, I'm Kyle Broflovski! Nice to meet you, Butters!" Kenny and Butters both looked at Kyle in shock - Butters was shocked that Kyle knew his name, while Kenny was shocked, and a little embarrassed, that Kyle was going to bring up the fact that Kenny had mentioned him before. "Kenny had mentioned you quite a bit, it's nice to meet you!"

Practically glaring daggers at Kyle as Butters looked at him for a moment, Kenny avoided his piercing blue eyes, wishing that he was in the stall instead of Craig. Instead of calling Kenny out for something so awkward, and odd, Butters looked back to Kyle, smiling a gorgeous smile that Kenny was sure gave him a small heart attack, his eyes capturing a light, while his lips were in a large grin - truly the most amazing smile he had ever seen. Knowing that Kenny was staring though, Butters grew a little nervous, tapping his fists together lightly as he always did. "N-Nice to meet you, Kyle. I've met Kenny."

Although he knew Kenny had a crush on Butters, there were still a lot of things he didn't know about their interactions, or why they were both acting the way they were. Kyle, now _really_ taking notice of their lack of eye contact, and acknowledgment, cleared his throat, wanting to rid of some of the awkwardness. "So, where are you from?"

Again, as if checking if Kenny was going to attack, Butters glanced down, before looking to Kyle again, rubbing the back of his neck shakily. "N-New Hampshire."

Kenny was aware that Butters wasn't from Colorado, but to learn that he was from the east coast, was odd. It made a lot of sense though, his nervousness obviously pointing to him being from somewhere very small, and possibly closed minded. To interrupt the already odd conversation, Craig and Stan both continued puking, Butters not-so-subtly cringing at the sound of the struggle to release their stomach demons. Kyle only shrugged as Kenny continued to look at the tile on the floor, ignoring the urge to look up at the boy he swore was an angel. Kyle continued with the conversation, however, being a naturally talkative person: "Do you like it here so far?"

Only looking at Kyle now, probably purposely, Butters scowled. "Not really. I-I don't have any friends."

Ever since they were kids, Kyle was known to have a soft spot for new kids, and anyone who was struggling to make friends. It wasn't a surprise to Kenny as he saw Kyle slap a hand over his chest, completely horrified that someone was surviving this school without at least _one_ friend. "Be friends with us!" Butters' scowl only grew deeper at thought, which made Kyle panic a little, acknowledging the people throwing up behind them. "Stan and Craig are actually really cool, they've just got food poisoning. As Stan's boyfriend, I can say, for sure, that he is someone you'd want to have as a friend."

Butters' eyes grew wide with surprise for a moment, as he realized that Stan and Kyle were boyfriends, and not just really good friends. Still, with Kenny in the picture, he hesitated, glancing once again at the boy on the floor. "I-I appreciate the offer, Kyle, but I can't be around Ken-"

"Ken.." Craig's voice called suddenly, and sharply, obviously desperate to have someone help him with his upset stomach. Kenny hesitated for a moment, not wanting to leave Kyle, and, most of all, not wanting to give Butters a reason to hate him even more than he did now. In the end, however, there was no way that Kenny could possibly ignore a friend's cry for help. Only sending a small smile to both Kyle and Butters, Kenny slid under the stall door, ready to do anything to make Craig feel better - especially if it could get them out of this bathroom, and away from Butters.

Expecting to see Craig clinging to the toilet for life, Kenny was surprised when he saw his friend holding his knees against his chest next to the toilet. He wasn't really sure what to make of this scene, since Craig was looking vulnerable, and even pale - Kenny just sat, staring at his shaking friend, his mouth agape with surprise, and concern. "Craig.. what's wrong?"

Without any type of warning, Craig stood up shakily, Kenny shooting up as soon as possible, to help his stumbling friend. He didn't say anything however, not even when he motioned to the door for them to go out. He didn't think that Craig knew that anyone was in there, and was a little hesitant to expose him to Butters and Kyle when he was in this state; as soon as they were out of the stall successfully though, he didn't even glance at Butters, only forcing his body to move to the sinks, where Kenny followed behind closely, ready to catch Craig if he decided to faint, or get sick again. Turning on the cold water for a moment as he leaned his palms on the counter top, Craig closed his eyes, the shaking of his body becoming more obvious to even Kyle now, who was still stood silently next to Butters. If he hadn't been so focused on Craig, Kenny would've wondered why Butters was even still there, since he didn't want their friendship.

"Hey," Kyle whispered to Kenny as Craig started to soak his face with the cold water, prompting Kenny to walk carefully to Kyle's side, avoiding Butters as much as possible. "What's up with him? I've never seen him like this."

Shrugging as he glanced over his shoulder, Kenny sighed, feeling a little defeated. "I don't know, Ky. I'm worried about him."

The other door slammed open to reveal a smirking Stan, who was still a little drunk, and feeling better than Kyle and Kenny both expected. Rolling his eyes at his idiot boyfriend, Kyle held out a hand, a smile creeping onto his face as their fingers laced together, that familiar tingling sensation sweeping through his stomach, as it always did every time they touched. Kenny found himself smiling at them from where he stood next to Craig, trying to fight off the urge to look over to Butters, who was staring at him, with an unreadable expression. It didn't matter to him at the moment however, as Kenny was distracted again by Craig moving, walking blindly towards the door like he had it set in his mind that he _had_ to be somewhere. Stopping him by placing his hands on his shoulders, Kenny took his wrist softly, rubbing the skin in the area, attempting to get Craig to wake up from whatever daze he was in.

Thankfully, the simple touch seemed to work, as Craig finally lifted his eyes to Kenny's, the same scowl as always on his face. He obviously wasn't very happy with what was going on, which became even more obvious as he ripped his hand out of the gentle, and comforting touch of Kenny's, pushing the bathroom door open, and storming into the hallway. Stan and Kyle both stared at Kenny, a billion questions probably surrounding them - Kenny was thinking more about whether it was a good idea to go after him, or just give him space. With Craig, nothing was simple, and his friends often had to tiptoe around his temper, since Craig was the type of person that would cut someone out of his life if they tried to get through to him emotionally. In the end though, Kenny couldn't leave him alone when he was feeling something so intense, even if the possibility of getting punch was very high.

Kenny only smiled at Stan and Kyle, before turning to walk out the door. As he looked back, he swore he caught Butters staring at him again, but with a softer expression, something that almost resembled care, but Kenny was convinced that he was just seeing what he wanted to. Just as he started down the direction where Craig had left towards, Kenny spotted his stumbling figure walking towards the doors outside, the bright sun from outside almost engulfing his figure as he pushed open the door, ignoring Kenny's calls for him. This was getting a bit annoying to Kenny, as he was more than frustrated with being ignored, even though he knew, that whatever Craig was dealing with, he could understand better than any of their friends. It wasn't a competition in the slightest, but Kenny had the closest relationship with him now, and felt that Craig should feel more comfortable with him - however, that didn't seem to be a fact, as Kenny hoped it would be.

Now slamming through the doors leading outside, Kenny found Craig leaned against the brick of one of the buildings, mindlessly smoking a cigarette. Craig was the expert at hiding emotions, never even letting a smile crack when he was wasted, however, Kenny suspected that he had gotten so drunk this morning, that some dark, and abused emotions slammed through the wall. Despite his hypothesis, Kenny could see that Craig was having a breakdown that even _he_ couldn't control; because of this, as Kenny walked towards Craig, he was hesitant with his next move, unsure of whether he even had the right to be out there. Sure, they had some sort of thing going on, and they were good friends, but despite all of that, was he really in a position to tell him how to deal with his trauma?

Even with his doubts being louder than rational thoughts, Kenny sat next to Craig, taking out a cigarette of his own. He felt like he may be better to wait until Craig said something, since he really, _really_ wanted to avoid setting him off as much as possible. To kind of distract himself from the situation for a few minutes, Kenny thought back to what had happened while Craig was puking his guts out in the stall. There were a lot of things that bothered Kenny: the first thing that irked him was Butters obviously being chased by bullies, but still hating Kenny like he was the damn Antichrist - what had he done to Butters that was so _bad_ , that he hated him more than his own bullies? Another thing that irritated him, was how Butters was reluctant to be friends with Kyle, Craig and Stan just because they were friends with him. If Kenny was being honest with himself, there were large parts of his thoughts that didn't like Butters, however, he still couldn't bring himself to actually hate the boy. There was just _something_ about him, and that was the most annoying thing of all.

"I thought you'd talk by now." Craig's rang out suddenly, causing Kenny to jump a little, not even realizing that he was still next to him. Seemingly feeling a little better, Craig smirked at Kenny's reaction, lighting another cigarette as he flicked the burnt out bud into the lawn. "I've been waiting for, like, ten minutes for you to ask me what the hell happened, but you look more fucked up than I feel, dude."

Avoiding the fact that he was feeling a little fucked up, Kenny shrugged, aiming the conversation towards Craig, instead: "Whatever, dude - what _is_ wrong with you?"

The question was blunt, but Craig knew that Kenny was there when he was freaking the hell out. "J-Just had a moment." Craig didn't mean to stutter, and he was a little pissed with himself that he did so, and could feel his friend's stare in the side of his head, not buying his bullshit. "Look, you're not oblivious to my asshole parents, and sometimes I just have moments where I remember how shitty they are. I'm done talking about it, and don't bring it up to anyone else."

It was the most that Craig had ever opened up to him, and although he was happy with that fact, Kenny knew better than to push for more. He understood why Craig didn't want to vulnerable, and accepted the fact that he wanted to deal with on his own - he was bound to realize later that it's better to have people around, but Kenny knew he needed to realize that on his own, and not be forced. "Okay."

There was a small, small part of him that hoped Kenny would fight back a little, but Craig didn't speak up about it; instead, he grabbed him by the back of the neck, and planted a harsh kiss on his lips, which was a surprise to the both of them. It was random, and little awkward, though, it was Craig's way of thanking himself for not being a dick about the whole thing. Honestly, it was probably the healthiest conversation that they had ever had, and Kenny kind of liked it. He still preferred them arguing, and even fighting, but, he appreciated the fact that there was a small possibility that they could be normal. Kenny wasn't sure he wanted normal though.

Craig only spared a few nice minutes a year, and as he stood up, Kenny knew those minutes were up, as he walked off without a word - just a simple flip of his middle finger. With thoughts of Butters still lingering, Kenny sat for a few minutes again the wall, smoking his cigarettes one after the other, not even noticing that he had almost finished the whole pack that was supposed to last him three more days. A lot of things were stressing him out, but the thing that was stressing him out the most (besides the Mob), was Butters, and his unnecessary hate. Certain rumors about him may have influenced Butters thinking, however, Kenny thought that he would've been able to figure out what was, and wasn't true when they actually met. Kenny was just starting to think that there was something he didn't know, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Finally realizing that he had smoked almost all of his cigarettes, Kenny groaned to himself, before pushing off the wall, and slowly walking back in the building. At least, today, Kenny wouldn't be missing as many classes as he had been recently, which was definitely going to reflect poorly on his grades, which was just another to stress about. Just as he set foot into the building, the bell rang to release first hour, the other students filing out into the halls, pushing and shoving each other, despite the hallways being quite large for the amount of students. Walking through the middle of the crowd, Kenny noticed that no one hit into him, in fact, they all avoided him like the plague, something he had never noticed before. Everyone knew he was the leader of a "gang", and sold drugs, but they also knew that if they didn't fuck with him, they wouldn't have a problem - so, it was strange that there seemed to be a shift.

There was a lingering suspicion in his mind, as he considered _who_ would be behind something so petty, yet so effective. Recently, he had made even more enemies, so the number of people that would want to hurt his social life, and possibly his selling life, was unlimited. If he really wanted to get to the bottom of what the hell was actually going on, there was only one person that Kenny knew, who could help him put a stop to whatever rumors affected people's perception of him, and he especially wanted to stop it before it got to Karen.

Luckily, the person he was looking for happened to be in his second hour, typing on his laptop in the corner as he always did. Kenny and him were friends for years, though, they just never hung out because their hobbies, and social lives, were vastly different. It had been a few weeks since they spoke more than two words to each other, but Kenny was confident that he would help him out. As if fate was on his side for once, Kenny noticed an empty seat next to him, and took it quickly, looking around the room for anyone who could listen. Kenny turned to his friend, tapping his shoulder. "Jimmy,"

Jimmy immediately ripped out his headphones excitedly as he saw Kenny, smiling widely, almost knocking his crutches over. "K-K-Kenny! H-How ya been, b-bud?"

The thing he loved most about Jimmy, was the fact that he was always genuinely kind, and cared about everyone. He was a good person, who made smart decisions, and had a very bright future - it was why Kenny never wanted him to be apart of the gang. It was just refreshing to be near him. "Good, man. What about you?"

Motioning to his laptop, still smiling, Jimmy chuckled: "A-Advancing my computer skills as a-always." Jimmy was a genius with computers, he could build one from scratch, and was an expert at coding, and even hacking. His dream was to get into MIT, which Kenny was very confident that he could do, and go onto get a damn PhD if he wanted to - he was that amazing.

They made small talk for a few minutes, even though Kenny knew that Jimmy was aware that he wanted something; he actually did want to know how Jimmy was doing, and found it refreshing to communicate with someone so positive. After a few minutes though, Kenny felt like it was okay to mention the main topic he wanted to discuss. "So, Jimmy, I actually need some help."

"W-Wah W-what is it, Kenny?" Jimmy asked, happy to help out one of the people that had stood up for him at school. It wasn't that he could stand up for himself, but the fact that someone else stuck up for him against assholes, was enough.

"Well," Kenny started, leaning closer to whisper the rest of the conversation. "Someone is spreading really harmful rumors about me, and I'd like to find out who, and how, before it comes back to Karen. If people are buying these lies, I'm worried she might believe them too."

Being a big fan of Karen himself, Jimmy frowned a little, not liking that someone was attacking his friend. He knew that Kenny ran a gang, and they sold drugs, but he also knew that he was a good person, and anyone who talked to him, could see that. "W-W-What do I need to do?"

While the teacher rambled on about nonsense for the hour, Jimmy and Kenny discussed a plan in the back of the classroom. Since he knew Jimmy was a trustworthy person, Kenny had spent a lot of the time unloading everything he could to him; which included his thing with Craig, the Mob, and his feelings for Butters, and everything that surrounded Butters, actually. After the update, and truths, of everything going on his life, Kenny and Jimmy decided that the would look into the people at their school - namely his enemies, which included Henry, and Neo-nazis. With Jimmy's talents, later that day, they were planning on looking into social media accounts, and seeing who they were interacting with, hoping to narrow down how these things were spreading.

Kenny was glad that he had someone to help him with something that could potentially be negatively effective, however, at the same time, he was afraid of what he would find. The only thing he was sure of in that moment, was that this would somehow help in his fight with the mob - he wasn't exactly sure _how_ it was going to help, but, he had a feeling that things were going to change from this point on. Something _had_ to change, or Kenny was certain he was going to lose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lotttt happened in this chapter, even for me, but everything that happens, happens for a reason ;)
> 
> (also I finally got to introduce Jimmy into the story!!!)


End file.
